Abel Whittemore

My name is Abel Whittemore and I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) based in Southern California and connecting with clients statewide via telehealth. Fluent in English and Spanish, I work with premarital / dating and married/committed couples as well as throuples/triads dealing with relational issues.

My approach

My approach to couples therapy varies depending on the couple but always takes a strength-based and systems perspective. I most frequently use the Gottman Method due to its research-based focus on key components of a healthy relationship. My sessions with couples tend to be semi-structured and typically involve homework in the form of short readings, videos, and/or exercises.

My focus

My experience has involved working with diverse couples, including heterosexual, same-sex, transgender, Spanish-speaking, in a family business, cross-cultural (racial, ethnic, religious, generational, national / immigration status, linguistic, socio-economic, education), and nontraditional (mix-orientation, consensually non-monogamous, kink/fetish/BDSM, living apart together, throuple/triad).

My communication style

While I am actively engaged with the hope that it leads the couple toward a new way of thinking, feeling, and acting, I tend to do a lot of reflective and empathetic listening – hopefully, with cultural humility. I find that by listening to my clients, they can hear truth in themselves as they share their stories. When necessary, my communication with clients also extends outside of sessions by text, voice, and/or email.

My journey to mental healthcare

Born to Mexican immigrants and raised in East Los Angeles, my journey toward becoming a couples therapist is somewhat unconventional as I have had a career as a hospital CEO, executive coach, professor, university administrator, and management and organizational consultant. Consulting gave me the opportunity to work on public health projects and live in Latin America, East Africa, and Eastern Europe. All of this involved increasing the capacity to form more meaningful connections with others, which is also key in a committed relationship. Hence, I completed a doctorate in marital and family therapy at Loma Linda University.

My goals for you

As a firm believer that the partners in the relationship are the experts in their lives, I take a collaborative approach in the setting of initial goals. We then refine these initial goals after each partner completes an online assessment that scores a couple’s strengths and challenges. Ultimately, the aim is to have more loving, meaningful, and purposeful lives as a couple.

My first session with you

My hope is that for our first contact, you, the couple, will take advantage of a complementary short telephone visit so that you can determine if there is the potential for a good fit between us and you feel safe, connected, and understood. All sessions are held on the weekend with morning, afternoon, and evening options.