Joseph Ryan

My parents once asked me how I would describe my view of life in one sentence, and I replied that my philosophy was "I don't know." I felt ashamed of using that phrase, but I now believe it was not a weak answer, just an incomplete thought. As a therapist for more than two decades, "I don't know" has now expanded into words I often use with clients I have the privilege to work with: "I don't know exactly what you have experienced, but I want to know. And I want to use all of my skills--empathy, insight, and knowledge among them--so that we can figure out together how to make your life better for you." Whatever it takes to enhance your life, I am willing to do. I may not know how to do that at our first session, but I will definitely put all my effort into learning how.

My approach

We all struggle to live lives of meaning that make us happy. Clients come to therapy with individual pains that emerge from their life stories. A good therapist creates an atmosphere of understanding and acceptance. Then, the client and therapist work closely together to discover meaning and enhance happiness. It's not easy, but isn't life better when you feel you have a partner in your struggles?

My focus

My "ideal client" is someone who is ready to change, which means that practically everyone is ideal. The "ideal therapist" is someone who cares about the client and is willing to do whatever it takes to help the client achieve the desired changes.

My communication style

I have been a professor for several decades. I taught and was taught by, thousands of adult students. Many of these students thought I was their best teacher ever. The reason they felt that way was because I quickly connected with every student. I cared about each of them deeply. I gave them my attention and didn't block myself from being open, sincere, questioning, strong, and completely dedicated to their learning. Of course, I made many mistakes, but I was always willing to admit them and repair them with the sincere hope to make things better.

My journey to mental healthcare

I started going to therapy as a teenager, then again as a 20-something, and then on and off again even until now. I was always impressed with how much I learned about myself from each successive therapist. All of them had a powerful influence over me, and though I did not know any of them outside the therapy room, I trusted that they were wonderful human beings. In my mind's eye, I can still see them sitting across from me in their offices. I can still hear their voices and recall what they said to me. When I was in my thirties, I knew that becoming a therapist was what I was meant to do, and so I pursued that path. By the way, I am not a wonderful human being, but I do consider each and every one of my clients to be wonderful, so I always feel that I am in good company with the best people I could have ever hoped to meet.

My goals for you

Clients come with many different problems, and I am constantly learning that there is no typical problem and no typical client. Every person has a vital story to tell, and each person has a particular goal in mind. Some want to free themselves from a troubled past. Others want to mourn lost relationships. Still, others want to make their current relationships better. What all seem to have in common is the desire to be heard by someone with empathy and curiosity and enough expertise to start them on their journey of discovery to meaningful goals. Those goals may be shadowy at first but come to light as therapy progresses.

My first session with you

There is nothing so exciting as the first meeting with a new client. I am always so excited to meet that person or persons, for the first time. Although I want to know everything about everyone, I use the first session to find out why the client has come, and what that person expects to get out of coming to therapy. Once that expectation is expressed, we are off to the races. Since it is important for the therapy to begin from the first breath of the first meeting, we will fill the original time with whatever seems best for the client, whether it be to relay information, express deep emotion, or just to unburden themselves.