How to tell your parents you need therapy: A guide for teens

There are many reasons that you might be interested in starting therapy. But if you’re a minor under the age of 18, you might need your parent’s support to take this step. This could be for financial or legal reasons, depending on where you live. 

If you’ve never brought up the subject of therapy with your parents, you might be unsure how they’ll react. Rest assured that there are some steps you can take to prepare for this conversation and help your parents understand why you’d like to start therapy.

Preparing to tell your parents you need therapy

As you think about talking to your parents about starting therapy, consider the type of support you think you need. Many people start their mental health journey with individual therapy. This is a one-on-one, private conversation with a therapist, and you’d typically attend these sessions on your own. However, depending on your situation, your therapist might invite your parents to participate occasionally, as long as it makes clinical and ethical sense to do so.

 Other treatment options include group therapy, in-patient treatment, outpatient care, and medication management. However, know that you don’t need to decide which type of therapy you need right now. This is a decision that you, your parents, and your therapist can make together. But if you have a clear desire or preference, this might be helpful for your parents to know.

10 tips for talking with your parents about starting therapy

Talking to your parents about therapy can be challenging. You might not be sure how they’ll respond, if they’ll believe you, or if you’ll feel supported. But the following tips can help you prepare for this important conversation:

1. Choose the right time and place to talk. You won’t want to rush through the conversation, so give yourself plenty of time.  Also, choose a private, comfortable space where you’re unlikely to be interrupted.
2. Take some notes ahead of time. It can help to prepare for emotional conversations by writing down what you want to say beforehand. This way, you won’t forget anything important.
3. Express why you want to enter therapy. While being open and vulnerable can be difficult, it will help your parents understand why you need support. Be honest about your feelings and the reasons you want to go to therapy.
4. Prepare for mixed reactions. Some parents may become worried or upset if their child expresses that they’re experiencing a mental health challenge. Just remind them that you’re involving them because you want their support.
5. Propose a trial. If your parents seem hesitant to help you enter therapy, offer a compromise like a trial period. Ask to attend sessions for a set period of time, like a few months. Once that time is up, reassure them that you can talk about the experience again. From there, you can decide together whether or not you will continue therapy.
6. Use examples. If you know someone who has benefited from therapy, share their story. Talk to your parents about their experience without providing identifying information that could betray their confidence. 
7. Offer to involve them. Let your parents know that there are ways for them to be involved in your therapy sessions as a family. Your therapist can help you decide when they can attend and how a joint session might support your treatment goals.
8. Expect additional conversations. If this is the first time you’re bringing up the idea of going to therapy with your parents, you’ll probably need to revisit the conversation. They may need some time to process what you’ve shared and prepare for next steps.
9. Find outside support. If you’re worried about how your parents will react, talk to a friend or trusted adult about your fears. Sometimes, just expressing your worries or concerns out loud can help you feel more prepared for a difficult conversation.
10. Acknowledge shifting attitudes about mental health. People have become more open about mental health in recent years. But this wasn’t always the case. Your parents may have grown up during a time when the topic was considered taboo or off-limits. So try to be patient and reassure them that therapy is a safe and effective type of support for young people.

Things therapy can help with

Sharing your experiences with your parents can help them support you in accessing the care you need. So another thing to consider before talking to your parents is what you’d like to work on and why you think therapy can help. 

You can enter therapy for a wide range of concerns, including:

• Depression or feeling sad, hopeless, or worthless
• Anxiety or worry
• A loss of motivation 
• Trouble concentrating 
• Problems in school
• Difficulty making friends
• Bullying or other forms of abuse
• Stress 
• Peer pressure
• Low self-esteem
• Self-harm behaviors like cutting
• Eating disorders
• Unhealthy substance use
• Sleep problems
• Trauma
• Difficulties due to a health condition
• Family struggles
• Anger issues

These are some common mental health concerns that young people might bring to therapy. But keep in mind that there are many other reasons to ask for help.

Find care with Rula

As you prepare to talk to your parents about entering therapy, it can be helpful to research some options ahead of time. 

With today’s busy schedules, many people find it helpful to attend therapy online via a telehealth platform like Rula. Whether you’re looking for individual, couples, or family counseling, Rula makes it easy to find the right care for your needs. 

In just a few clicks, our therapist-matching program can help you find a therapist who takes your insurance. And rather than waiting weeks or months for an appointment, you can schedule your first session as early as this week. 

Find a therapist with Rula