What are the effects of bullying on children’s mental health?

Once thought of as a childhood rite of passage, we now understand bullying as a serious issue that affects many young people. Children who experience bullying are at greater risk of physical and mental health challenges that can continue into adulthood. It can also impact their academic performance, ability to make friends, and self-esteem. 

Fortunately, bullying is preventable. By speaking up, offering support, and advocating for change, you can help break the cycle of bullying and be a part of the solution for your child and your community. 

What is bullying?

Bullying is any purposeful, repeated action that is intended to harm or exclude another person. It can be verbal, physical, psychological, or sexual, and it can take place in person or using technology (cyberbullying). All forms of bullying involve an imbalance of power, where the bully has more power than the victim. 

Some of the most common forms of bullying include:

• Hitting, kicking, biting, pushing, spitting, tripping, shoving, or other forms of physical aggression
• Name-calling, taunting, or teasing
• Threats
• Inappropriate comments or unwanted sexual contact 
• Spreading rumors
• Leaving someone out on purpose
• Encouraging others to stop being friends with someone
• Embarrassing someone in public
• Destroying someone’s property

Why do kids bully other kids?

In the past, bullies were sometimes viewed as “bad kids” who simply enjoyed causing harm. But that doesn’t tell the full story. Usually, if a child is bullying others, it’s a sign that something is wrong and they need support. 

A child is more likely to bully others if:

• Their parents or other caregivers have modeled bullying behavior at home.
• They don’t have a healthy means of fulfilling a need for attention, power, or control. 
• They feel like they need to bully others to fit in with their peer group.
• They see bullying as a way to elevate their social status. 
• They don’t have enough emotional support at home. 
• They don’t have the ability to empathize with others or process emotions in healthy ways.
• They feel insecure or have low self-esteem.

As you deepen your understanding of bullying and why it happens, it’s also important to learn the difference between conflict and bullying. Throughout childhood, most of us will experience something called normal peer conflict as we develop the social skills to get along with others. 

Normal peer conflict is different than bullying because:

• It’s infrequent.
• There is no power imbalance.
• There’s no threat of danger or serious harm.
• Both peers have an emotional response to the conflict.
• Both sides can express remorse and are invested in solving the problem.

Seven options to consider if your child is being bullied

Recent data shows that as many as one in three children across the world have been bullied in the past 30 days. So if your child is being bullied, know that they’re not alone. And there are things you can do to support them.

1. Foster open and supportive communication

Let your child know they can always come to you if someone is doing or saying something harmful to them. Sometimes, children suffer in silence because they worry about getting in trouble or not being believed if they report bullying. So let your child know that it’s OK to speak up.

2. Collaborate with school officials

Your child’s teachers and school administrators should be your partners in ensuring that your child has access to a safe learning environment. If you’re concerned that your child is being bullied, reach out to the school, and express your concerns. Ask them to share the specific steps they’re taking to address the behavior.

3. Document the bullying

Bullying isn’t just a one-time occurrence. It involves a repeated pattern of purposeful behavior that’s intended to cause harm. So encourage your child to create a record of their experiences, and offer to help. This documentation can be helpful to share with school personnel or any other caring adults who can help keep your child safe.

4. Encourage positive relationships

When children understand what healthy relationships look like, they’re better equipped to avoid the imbalances of power that can lead to bullying. Talk to your child about what it means to be a good friend and the difference between normal peer conflict and bullying.

5. Teach assertiveness and coping skills

Let your child know that standing up for themselves is not bullying, and reporting is not being a tattletale or “snitch.” Practice what they could say to let a bully know that they won’t tolerate their behavior. This could be something like “I don’t like you calling me names, and if you keep doing it, I’m going to tell the teacher.” However, emphasize that there may be times when it’s not safe to speak up. Remind your child to seek adult help immediately if anyone is being hurt.

6. Advocate for anti-bullying programs

Anti-bullying programs can make schools safer. So talk to your child’s school about existing programming, and be an advocate for social-emotional learning at every grade level.

7. Seek professional help

Research shows that bullying can take a major toll on a child’s well-being. So if your child has been victimized, you may wish to consider enrolling them in therapy. A mental health professional can help them boost their self-esteem, learn about healthy friendships, and heal from the impact of bullying.

What are the effects of bullying on children?

Bullying can have a serious, long-lasting impact on your child’s health. It can also negatively impact their experience at school. 

Bullying can lead to: 

• Feeling like an outsider 
• Skipping school
• Being less likely to seek a post-secondary education
• Chronic fatigue
• Problems with appetite
• Sleep disturbances
• Aches and pains that can’t be otherwise explained
• Increased rates of mental health concerns like depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicidality
• Feelings of loneliness or isolation
• Low self-esteem
• Greater rates of smoking or unhealthy substance use
• Feeling disconnected from parents and family

What are the effects of bullying on bullies?

Much of the research on bullying focuses on victims. But children who bully others are also at increased risk of depression, unhealthy substance use, academic problems, and violence toward others later in life. 

If you’re worried about your child bullying other children, don’t hesitate to seek professional help and talk to school personnel so that they can help monitor the situation. Know that with early intervention and the right support, your child can learn to regulate their emotions, adopt healthy behaviors, and deepen their empathy for others.

Find care with Rula

If your child has experienced bullying, talking to a mental health professional can help. A therapist can provide a safe space to navigate the emotional impact of bullying and support your child in strengthening their mental health. 

Whether you’re looking for individual support or counseling for the entire family, Rula makes it easy to find a therapist who takes your insurance. Plus, thanks to our diverse provider network, you get seamless access to specialized care without waiting weeks or months for an appointment.  

To start the process today, check out our therapist-matching program. In just a few clicks, you can select a provider based on your needs and preferences and begin receiving care as early as this week.

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