Could you improve your emotional intelligence? Try our quiz

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage emotions. People with high emotional intelligence can recognize their feelings, regulate their responses, and understand how emotions affect themselves and others. 

It’s also a skill you can develop. Take our free emotional intelligence test to understand your strengths and areas for growth. Additionally, working with a qualified mental health provider can support you in building greater emotional awareness and improving your emotional intelligence over time. 

Emotional intelligence quiz

Our brief quiz can help you learn more about your current emotional intelligence. The questions touch on the five key elements of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, empathy, self-regulation, social skills, and motivation. 

Focusing on these areas can help you support the development of your emotional intelligence over time. But don’t worry if this skill doesn’t come naturally to you. You might not have been taught emotional intelligence when you were a child. This may be particularly true if emotional or physical survival was a priority, like in settings where domestic abuse or substance use issues occurred.  

On the other hand, if you were surrounded by adults who modeled emotional intelligence and encouraged it in you, you might have developed this skill. Either way, building emotional intelligence can bring more satisfaction in your relationships. 

Consider the following scenarios, and choose the answer that best describes your experiences.*

• “I find it easy to name my emotions when I’m experiencing them.”
  • Yes, always
  • Sometimes
  • No, never
• “When I’m upset, I try to work through the emotion rather than avoid it.”
  • Yes, always
  • Sometimes
  • No, never
• “I notice the emotions of others, even if they aren’t talking about them out loud.”
  • Yes, always
  • Sometimes
  • No, never
• “I can tell when someone is uncomfortable or upset.”
  • Yes, always
  • Sometimes
  • No, never
• “I try to help others through difficult times.”
  • Yes, always
  • Sometimes
  • No, never
• “I don’t get defensive when someone points out my emotions.” 
  • Yes, always
  • Sometimes
  • No, never
• “I’m aware of how my mood impacts those around me.”
  • Yes, always
  • Sometimes
  • No, never
• “I find it easy to empathize with people whose perspectives differ from my own.”
  • Yes, always
  • Sometimes
  • No, never
• “I engage in self-care practices to help regulate my emotions.”
  • Yes, always
  • Sometimes
  • No, never

*Quiz content written by Lolly Coleman, MS, LMFT.

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How to interpret your quiz results and next steps

Your quiz answers can serve as a helpful indicator to measure your emotional intelligence. 

If you answered “Yes — always” to most questions

You likely have high emotional intelligence if your answers were mostly “Yes — always.” Your friends and family probably lean on you during difficult times or regularly seek you out for advice about their relationships. Being the emotional rock for people in your life may be a defining part of your personality. It can feel unnatural to not always be in “helper” mode.

But you can’t always be there for everyone. In fact, this can be a road toward emotional burnout or resentment. Setting healthy boundaries can prevent this outcome. That’s because boundaries can safeguard your mental health and ensure that you can support both your loved ones and yourself, especially during times of crisis. 

If you answered “Sometimes” to most questions

There’s some room for growth when it comes to emotional intelligence if you answered “Sometimes” to most questions. Gathering feedback from friends and family can teach you what works well and refine what doesn’t. 

To gain more insight on your emotional intelligence and opportunities to improve, consider asking questions, like: 

• “When you need support, in what ways am I helpful and unhelpful?” 
• “Do you feel safe coming to me with constructive criticism about my emotions and how they affect you?” 
• “When I’m emotionally overwhelmed, how do I usually behave?” 

If you answered “No — never” to most questions

If you mostly answered “No — never” to the quiz questions, you can take steps to improve your emotional intelligence. Even by taking this quiz and becoming more aware of your relationship with your emotions, you’re already moving in the right direction. 

And you don’t have to do it all alone. A therapist can help you identify what’s getting in your way and offer tools to strengthen this skill. They may also use evidence-based approaches, like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), to help you shift unhealthy thought patterns and improve your emotional responses.

Find care with Rula

Emotional intelligence is key to successful relationships, emotional regulation, and understanding how your feelings affect others. If you want to know where your emotional intelligence stands, our quiz can be a good starting place. 

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.

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