ADHD can affect the way you interact with others. These communication differences can feel frustrating and challenging to manage.
These differences aren’t inherently negative, but they can cause tension in relationships if they aren’t acknowledged.
With self-acceptance, treatment, and supportive strategies, you can build healthier and more effective communication patterns.
If you live with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you may’ve felt that you’re “different” than neurotypical people. One way these differences can present is through communication. Research shows that people with ADHD often feel misunderstood and frustrated when trying to communicate with others.
Having a different communication style isn’t a bad thing. And there are ways to help others understand the way you communicate so you feel more comfortable expressing yourself.
How conversations can feel when you have ADHD
When you live with ADHD, communication can happen differently than for neurotypical people. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a “bad” communicator. You may just express yourself in different ways. These communication differences may partially explain why people with ADHD tend to have trouble in interpersonal relationships.
People with ADHD often show the following communication patterns.
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Rapid speech
People with ADHD often talk faster than neurotypical people. This may relate to the hyperactivity that often comes along with ADHD. You may feel like you’re driven by a motor, and it’s possible you try to do everything quickly. This can transfer to your speech as well. You might talk so fast that people tell you they have a hard time keeping up.
Seemingly “unrelated” topics
Both impulsivity and hyperactivity may cause you to jump between topics that can seem unrelated to others. The connection might seem clear to you, but other people might tell you that they have a hard time following your train of thought.
Interruptions
One of the symptoms of ADHD, especially the hyperactive-impulsive type, is frequently interrupting or talking over others. You might blurt out your thoughts before waiting for the other person to finish. This isn’t due to rudeness, just due to ADHD. But it can cause communication issues, especially with neurotypical people.
Excessive talking
Another recognized symptom of hyperactive-impulsive ADHD is talking more than other (neurotypical) people do. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but neurotypical people may have difficulty staying engaged when conversations feel one-sided or overly long. This can sometimes make it harder to connect with others.
Getting distracted
Distractibility and inattention — core symptoms of ADHD — can cause difficulties in communication. You might get distracted while the other person is talking. This can make them feel like you don’t care about what they have to say even though you do care.
Keeping in touch
People with ADHD often experience relationships as “out of sight, out of mind.” You might love someone but still forget to contact them when you don’t see them. This can make it difficult to maintain relationships, especially long-distance ones.
Oversharing
Neurotypical people might feel like you “overshare” when you communicate. This can come from impulsivity. You might reveal personal details quickly without realizing that the other person isn’t as open yet. While this can sometimes build intimacy, it can also overwhelm people who aren’t used to that style of communication.
Emotional dysregulation
People with ADHD often have a hard time managing emotions. You might have angry outbursts or say things you don’t mean when you’re upset. Strong emotions can make it hard to pause and think before reacting, which may cause arguments or hurt feelings even when you didn’t intend it.
Verbal and language difficulties
Research shows that people with co-occurring ADHD and autism are more likely to have trouble with verbal communication because of speech and language difficulties. If this affects you, it could be even harder to maintain communication within relationships.
Effective communication in relationships
Effective communication is one of the most important parts of healthy relationships. And the way you communicate as a person with ADHD isn’t necessarily a “problem.” But if your ADHD is untreated, or if you’re surrounded by people who don’t understand ADHD, these communication differences might be causing strain in your relationships.
ADHD-related communication differences can:
Lead to misunderstandings and conflict
Cause you to feel ashamed or embarrassed
Lead other people to misunderstand your intentions
Create challenges in workplace communication, like in meetings or email exchanges
Make it harder to follow instructions — especially when they’re only communicated to you verbally
Impact teamwork if others see you as inattentive or interruptive
Increase the risk of social isolation if you withdraw after repeated negative experiences
Lead to low self-esteem if you start to believe you’re “bad” at communication
Strengthening communication skills with ADHD
Communication can look different when you have ADHD. This can sometimes cause problems and tension in relationships. But social support is so important for maintaining good mental health, especially if you live with ADHD.
The way you communicate as someone with ADHD doesn’t need to be thought of in a negative light. There are ways to find balance so that you can learn to communicate in a way that the other person can understand but also avoid having to mask too much.
If you want to improve your communication skills, try these tips.
1. Practice self-acceptance
Although it’s OK to want to work on your communication skills, it’s also important to accept yourself as you are. Having ADHD is nothing to be ashamed of. Remember that your communication style is part of who you are, and the right people will value you for it.
2. Work on emotional regulation
One communication challenge that comes along with ADHD is difficulty regulating emotions. If you act out in angry outbursts and say hurtful things you don’t mean, it can cause serious harm in relationships. So it can be helpful to prioritize strengthening your emotional regulation skills. This may include practicing calming techniques or working with a therapist on managing your emotions.
3. Learn about active listening
Active listening is an important communication skill. You might learn to wait until the other person is finished speaking before responding. You can try reflecting back what they said to make sure you understood. Or ask clarifying questions instead of jumping in with your own thoughts right away. You can practice these habits just like you would any other skill.
4. Help others understand you
It may also be helpful to explain ADHD to your loved ones in a way that helps them understand you more deeply. It’s important for the people in your life to understand the way you communicate. When they understand more about ADHD, they may be more patient, compassionate, and willing to adapt with you.
5. Get ADHD treatment
Treating ADHD can help reduce some of the symptoms — like hyperactivity and impulsivity — that can cause communication difficulties. A therapist can help by teaching you coping strategies, role-playing communication and social skills, and addressing the emotional impact of ADHD.
The most helpful support is self-compassion paired with simple strategies. For example, saying something like, ‘I got excited and jumped in — please finish your thought.’ Being around people who understand ADHD also makes a big difference. Together, these tools and supportive environments help reduce shame and build confidence in communication.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
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Communication differences are a normal part of living with ADHD, but they don’t need to hold you back from building healthy and supportive relationships. By understanding yourself, practicing healthy social skills, and reaching out for professional help when you need it, you can feel more confident in your ability to connect with others.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
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Saya Des Marais
Saya graduated with her Master in Social Work (MSW) with a concentration in mental health from the University of Southern California in 2010. She formerly worked as a therapist and motivational interviewing trainer in community clinics, public schools, mental health startups, and more.
Her writing has been featured in FORTUNE, GoodRX, PsychCentral, and dozens of mental health apps and therapy websites. Through both her clinical work and her personal OCD diagnosis, she’s learned the importance of making empathetic and accurate mental health content available online.
She lives in Portland, Oregon but you can find her almost just as often in Mexico or in her birthplace, Tokyo.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
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