ADHD can impact how a person understands their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Collectively, this is called self-awareness.
A lack of self-awareness (or too much of it) can negatively affect daily tasks like planning, problem-solving, organizing, and relating to others.
If you have ADHD and want to increase your self-awareness, tools like self-reflection, feedback, self-compassion, and therapy (if needed) can help.
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition and a form of neurodiversity. Its two main symptoms are inattentiveness and impulsivity/hyperactivity. These symptoms can create challenges with executive functioning.
Executive functioning refers to a set of cognitive life skills we use every day, often without realizing it. They’re what help us make plans, prioritize tasks, problem-solve, and adapt to new information or situations. Successful executive functioning relies on what researchers call metacognition, or the ability to “think about thinking.” It’s what most people refer to as self-awareness, or our capacity to see our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors accurately.
Some of the most common ADHD challenges — like time blindness or blurting things out — can be tied to a lack of self-awareness. But, if you have ADHD, it’s important to remember that this isn’t your fault. It’s the result of the unique way your brain is wired. Fortunately, there are things you can do to strengthen your self-awareness. Knowing the “why” behind your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can help you overcome your challenges and capitalize on your strengths.
ADHD and a lack of self-awareness
There are many ways that a lack of self-awareness can manifest as ADHD symptoms. Here are a few examples.
Time blindness: When he arrives at work, John checks his schedule. He sees that his boss has scheduled an 11:30 a.m. one-on-one meeting with him. But since it’s only 10 a.m., he figures he can get a jump-start on some other tasks. Suddenly, he hears his phone buzzing. He sees that he’s missed several calls and texts from his boss. It’s now after noon, and he completely missed the meeting because he lost track of time. His boss is extremely frustrated.
Rejection sensitivity: When Shiloh’s partner asks if they can talk after dinner, he gets a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He immediately starts ruminating on what he did wrong, and his emotions start to spiral. Before his partner can even speak, Shiloh shouts, “Just go ahead and break up with me, if that’s what you want!” Without realizing it, Shiloh’s rejection sensitivity flared. His partner appears stunned, hurt, and confused, and the conversation never happens.
Hyperactivity: After several hours of meetings, Luca feels like he needs to move his body because he’s feeling restless. But instead of taking a break outside, he starts pacing in the back of the room. The people nearby take immediate notice of the sound of his heavy shoes hitting the tile floor. They visibly strain to hear the speaker over the noise. But Luca doesn’t notice.
Inattentiveness: Joy’s first semester in college is coming to an end, and she has several large projects to complete. She tends to do her best work in tidy environments with minimal distractions. But with the mounting pressure of competing deadlines, Joy’s dorm room becomes chaotic and messy. She finds herself procrastinating because she can’t focus in this space.
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Hyper self-awareness in ADHD
The examples above illustrate what could happen if a person with ADHD lacks self-awareness. However, ADHD affects different people in different ways. And some people become overly aware of their symptoms. This is called hyper self-awareness, or hypervigilance, and it can create a cycle of excessive self-monitoring.
Constantly scrutinizing every thought, feeling, behavior, or interaction can take a toll on a person’s mental health. For some people, this may be tied to masking. This is a tactic some people with ADHD use to conceal their symptoms, avoid stigma, or attempt to “fit in.” Masking can take a lot of energy, though, and it may not be a long-term solution.
Finding balance in self-awareness with ADHD
The good news about self-awareness is that it isn’t fixed. It’s a skill that most people can develop with a little time and practice.
If you have ADHD, or another form of neurodivergence, here are some tips to help you get started:
1. Take an honest inventory. Set aside some time to reflect on your strengths and challenges. It may even help to write them down and revisit your list every so often. Knowing what you’re good at and where you may need support can help you set yourself up for success.
2. Do a daily check-in. Whenever it’s most convenient for you, pause to see how you’re doing. Ask yourself how you’re feeling, and pay attention to what you’re needing at the moment. It might help to set a reminder on your phone or use a journal to record your responses. As you repeat this process, see if you can notice any themes or patterns. What do these insights tell you about yourself?
3. Be open to feedback. Sometimes, a friend, family member, or colleague can help us learn things about ourselves we might otherwise miss. When seeking feedback, talk to people you trust to provide helpful, constructive responses.
4. Be a friend to yourself. Being self-aware doesn’t mean that you have to love everything about yourself. But when you hear negative self-talk, like, “You always say the wrong thing,” consider how you’d respond to a friend saying that to themselves. See if you can channel the kindness and acceptance you might offer a friend in that situation.
5. Ask for help. Everyone has difficulty with self-awareness once in a while. But if you’re working on it and not seeing improvement, therapy can help. A neurodivergent-friendly therapist can provide a safe, judgment-free space for self-reflection. They can help you deepen your self-awareness and develop coping skills to manage your ADHD.
Check-in with how often you’re scanning for mistakes or judgment and gently ask: ‘What would it feel like to trust that I’m doing OK, even if I’m not perfect?’ Practicing self-trust, even in small moments, can help quiet the internal noise and make room for more authentic connection.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
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You might be familiar with some symptoms of ADHD, like hyperactivity and inattentiveness. But ADHD can also impact how accurately a person can identify and assess their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Collectively, this is known as self-awareness.
A lack of self-awareness is linked to ADHD symptoms like time blindness, blurting, procrastination, and disorganization. But, fortunately, self-awareness is a skill that can be developed. With some patience, practice, and therapy (if needed), people with ADHD can get to know themselves better. These insights can help them harness their inner strengths and build habits and routines that help them find success.
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Liz Talago
Liz Talago, M.ed. is a mental health professional turned content writer and strategist based in the Detroit metro area. As an independent consultant for mental health organizations, Liz creates meaningful connections between brands and their audiences through strategic storytelling. Liz is known for championing diverse perspectives within the mental health industry and translating bold ideas into inspiring, affirming digital experiences.
In her free time, you can find her hiking with her two German Shepherds, puttering around her dahlia garden, or spending time with her family.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
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Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
