Overcoming the fear of making the wrong decision

From what you eat for breakfast to what you watch on TV, you make decisions all day long, often without even realizing it. But if it feels like you’re being presented with increasingly endless options, you’re not alone. The average American adult makes about 35,000 decisions each day.

In addition to the amount of options we encounter, other factors can delay our decision-making. Some people experience frequent hesitancy when faced with making a decision, which is referred to as indecisiveness. Being indecisive doesn’t automatically mean you have a mental health concern. But it can take a toll on your well-being. 

Chronic indecisiveness can prevent a person from making decisions (big and small) in ways that negatively impact their daily life. Fortunately, there are things you can do to simplify your choices and become more confident in your decisions. 

Why decision-making may be difficult for you

Sometimes, decisions are difficult simply because of how important they seem to be. It makes sense that you might want to take your time and weigh the pros and cons of major life choices. This can include things like your choice of career, partner, where you live, and more. But if daily decision-making is hard for you, it could be due to the following:

• Intolerance of uncertainty: Whether due to your personality or life experiences (or both), you may have challenges with uncertainty. You might worry that if you’re not 100% sure you’re making the right decision, the results will be catastrophic. It’s also difficult for people to sit in this ambiguous place with limited insight into what the future holds. 

• Fear: People often worry about the implications and effects of a decision. For example, if you’re thinking about applying for a promotion, you may worry how this will affect your relationships with current coworkers once you're in a different position. 

• Lack of self-reliance: If you don’t trust yourself to make decisions, you may become more indecisive. This might stem from judging yourself too harshly for past mistakes or having low self-confidence.

• Poor self-awareness: Making the “right” choice for yourself is harder when you don’t know your values. Without self-awareness, you might lack direction.

• Decision fatigue: Humans are making more decisions than ever before, leading to decision fatigue. Simply put, our brains are trying hard to keep up with the flood of choices we’re presented with.

• Mental health concerns: If you’re having trouble making a decision, it doesn’t mean you have a mental health condition. However, chronic indecisiveness has been linked to depression, anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Impact of being indecisive 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be responsible with your decision-making. It’s OK to want to consider your options and reflect on the impact of your choices. This can be especially meaningful when making major decisions that could have lifelong consequences for yourself or others. However, if you’re having trouble making even small decisions, it can negatively affect your life in important ways. For example:

• If you take too long to make a decision, opportunities could pass you by.

• Friends, loved ones, or colleagues might get frustrated with you if they need you to weigh in on a decision that affects them. 

• Sitting with the stress for too long can impact your mood and health.

• Not making decisions now can lead you to think you’re incapable of making them in the future, and this can hurt your confidence.

• If you need support for your mental or physical health, not being able to select an option can keep you from getting the care you deserve.

How to stop being indecisive

If you’re experiencing difficulty with indecision, here are some things that can help:

• Limit your choices. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by options, try prioritizing your top few choices and making your final selection based on those.

• Give yourself a timeline. Sometimes, deadlines are set for us, and that forces us to make decisions within a certain window of time. If you’re facing an open-ended choice, try setting your own deadline. This might help motivate you to make a decision.

• Let go of perfectionism. Perfect outcomes aren’t always possible. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make good decisions. Try to give yourself permission to make the best choice you can based on the information you have.

• Decide early in the day. Research shows that it’s often best to make big decisions in the morning. This is because, as the day goes on and we make decisions, our brains can become fatigued.

• Flip a coin. Whether figuratively or literally, pick an option and move forward with it. This can seem counterintuitive if you’re used to spending a lot of time analyzing the pros and cons. However, if both options seem to have benefits, this can alleviate the stress and delay.

• Ask for help. If indecisiveness is negatively impacting your mental health, daily functioning, or relationships, don’t hesitate to seek support. A therapist can help you understand why you’re having difficulty with decisions and help you learn to make choices with confidence.

Clinician's take

Most people worry about how their decision will impact their current reality. We get used to the life we have built and naturally want things to stay ‘safe’ and predictable. Making decisions can feel scary but starting small can be a great way to comfortably build confidence over time.

Ashley Ayala, LMFT

Clinical reviewer

Find care with Rula

We make countless decisions each day. And sometimes the sheer number of choices we encounter can make it hard to know what’s best. Experiencing difficulty with decision-making doesn’t mean you have a mental health concern. But for some people, the fear of making the wrong decision can feel overwhelming and keep them from making any choice at all. When this happens repeatedly, it can be a sign of a mental health concern like depression, an anxiety disorder, or OCD. 

If indecisiveness is negatively impacting your life, try limiting your choices, challenging perfectionism, and setting your own deadlines. If you need additional support, working with a therapist or psychiatrist can help you streamline your decision-making and help you feel more confident in your choices.

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.