Your personality can change over time, but it usually happens gradually and takes effort.
Healthy changes may improve confidence, stress management skills, and relationships.
Small, consistent steps — like setting goals, trying new things, and getting support — can create lasting change.
You may wonder if it’s possible to intentionally change your personality. This question often comes up when someone feels like their habits or ways of thinking are holding them back. The desire to grow is normal and healthy. And real personality changes can improve your confidence, strengthen your relationships, and boost your emotional well-being.
While experts once believed that personality was fixed, new research suggests that personality traits can shift through persistent effort or as a result of major life events. At the same time, change is rarely simple. Some traits can shift with effort, while others may stay more steady over time.
Before moving forward, it may help to reflect on your reasons for wanting change. Are you hoping to become more true to yourself, or are you adjusting to meet other people’s expectations? Thinking through this step makes the process clearer and more meaningful.
Can you change your personality?
Yes, it’s possible to change your personality, though it usually happens gradually and requires effort. Your personality is a collection of traits that make you distinct, like how outgoing, open to new experiences, agreeable, or organized you are.
These traits tend to be stable, but they aren’t set in stone. For example, someone who’s shy may want to feel more comfortable in social settings. Or a person who procrastinates may wish to become more proactive.
Over time, personalities do tend to shift in subtle ways. Research shows that most people tend to become a little more emotionally mature, agreeable, and responsible as they get older. Life experiences, relationships, work, and personal growth all play a role in these changes.
Both nature and nurture shape personality. While genetics provide a starting point, your environment, upbringing, culture, and choices influence how traits show up in your daily life.
You may not be able to rewrite every aspect of who you are, but you can adjust qualities like:
Building healthier habits (becoming more organized, less avoidant)
Shifting your mindset (working toward optimism, practicing gratitude)
Setting new goals and redefining your values (prioritizing growth, relationships, or resilience)
So, while your personality provides a foundation, you’re not locked into one version of yourself forever. With intention and practice, meaningful change is possible.
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Healthy reasons to change your personality
Some reasons to change your personality are positive. For example, you might want to improve your confidence, learn to handle stress better, or be kinder to others. These changes can help you feel happier and improve your relationships. Focus on building self-esteem, practicing self-compassion, and setting realistic goals.
Unhealthy reasons to change your personality
Other reasons can be harmful. Trying to change just to please others, fit in, or avoid criticism can hurt your self-worth. In these cases, it’s better to focus on accepting yourself and finding ways to cope with pressure. Practicing self-compassion and working to understand your strengths can help more than forcing change.
How to change your personality
Yes, your personality can change, but it takes time and practice. If you want to work on changing your personality, you can try:
Setting small goals: Focus on one behavior at a time, like speaking up more or smiling often. Small goals build habits and help you see progress.
Tracking your progress: Write down your actions, or keep a journal. Reflection can help you notice growth and stay motivated.
Trying new experiences: Meet new people, or try different activities. New experiences can help you become more open and confident.
Practicing self-awareness: Notice your reactions and thoughts in different situations. Awareness lets you make small changes in your behavior.
Asking for feedback: Friends, family members, or mentors can provide support and help you see areas where you could improve.
Working with a mental health professional: Therapists can guide you, help you set realistic goals, and give you tools to reinforce change.
Doing these things repeatedly can slowly shift your behaviors, beliefs, and habits. Over time, the changes can become lasting and natural.
A healthy desire to change your personality usually comes from curiosity and self-awareness, not shame or pressure. When growth feels like an act of alignment — rather than a performance for others — it tends to lead to lasting change.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Your personality isn’t fixed. You can grow and adjust traits over time through effort, reflection, and new experiences. Change takes patience, and a therapist can provide guidance to make the process more manageable.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
