Do you have complicated grief?

Grief is a universal human experience, as everyone experiences loss at some point. Grief is a sign that the person, animal, or thing you lost was important to you. It’s a healthy response to loss, and it doesn’t automatically signify a mental health problem.

Sometimes, grief can be longer lasting or more debilitating than usual. This is often called complicated grief, and the official name of the mental health condition is prolonged grief disorder.

This complicated grief test can’t replace an official assessment, but it may help you start getting answers about whether your grief is within “healthy” levels or if you could benefit from more support.

Take the complicated grief assessment

Our complicated grief assessment was created by a licensed mental health therapist. The questions are based on the official symptoms of prolonged grief disorder.

Instructions: Answer the following questions to the best of your ability. You must answer “yes” or “no.” You might sometimes feel like a simple yes/no doesn’t describe the full range of your experience of grief. That’s OK — just choose the answer that best describes your feelings. 

1. Have you experienced the death of someone close to you within the past 6 to 12 months?

   • Yes

   • No

2. Do you find yourself thinking about the person who passed most of the time? Is it hard to distract yourself with other things?

   • Yes

   • No

3. Do you often replay the circumstances surrounding the passing in your mind?

   • Yes

   • No

4. Do you feel a strong sense of disbelief that the death actually happened?

   • Yes

   • No

5. Is it still hard for you to get back to your typical routines (like work, school, and household tasks)?

   • Yes

   • No

6. Do you feel intense loneliness and find it hard to connect with other people since the loss?

   • Yes

   • No

7. Does it feel like your life has lost meaning now that this person is gone?

   • Yes

   • No

8. Do you avoid reminders of the person? Or do you do the opposite and engulf yourself in reminders of the person?

   • Yes

   • No

9. Do you feel unable to move forward in your life?

   • Yes

   • No

10. Have other people around you told you that you need to try moving forward?

    • Yes

    • No

Scoring:

Mostly yes: You may be experiencing complicated grief, including symptoms of prolonged grief disorder.
Mostly no: You may be experiencing healthy grief, not symptoms of prolonged grief disorder.

Quiz content written by Lolly Coleman, MS, LMFT.

How does this grief disorder test work?

This test was designed to measure the extent to which you experience symptoms of prolonged grief disorder. This is what most people who experience “complicated grief” are diagnosed with. No online test can substitute a real diagnostic assessment by a mental health professional.

Most of the symptoms in the test are common signs of grief that most people experience. For example, many people go through a sense of disbelief when they lose someone. Many people find that it’s difficult to think about other things, at least for a while. If you only relate to a few of these questions, it’s possible the grief you’re experiencing is “normal” or healthy. 

If you answered yes to five or more questions, you may be experiencing prolonged grief disorder. People who live with this condition experience symptoms intensely for at least one month.

It’s important to keep in mind that, although the medical community distinguishes between “normal” or healthy grief and prolonged grief disorder, there’s no such thing as a “wrong” way to grieve. Grief has no timeline. Some people may grieve for a longer time than others. And your grief may be more painful than it seems to other people.

But this doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. Even if this test helped you realize that you may be living with prolonged grief disorder, it’s not wrong for you to feel this way. It just means you might need some extra support to get through this painful time.

What you can do after taking the quiz

If this test has helped you realize that you may be experiencing complicated or prolonged grief, there are several steps you can take. You might want to consider:

1. Reflecting on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to grief: It may be helpful to think about what this loss has been like for you and what emotions or changes have stood out most. Writing or journaling can sometimes make it easier to reflect and move forward.

2. Learning about prolonged grief disorder: Educating yourself on the symptoms and typical experiences of people with prolonged grief disorder can give you a better sense of how your feelings compare. This knowledge can also help you recognize when extra support could be helpful.

3. Getting an assessment: This test can help you start learning about prolonged grief, but it’s not a formal assessment. If you’re looking for answers, it may be helpful to see a mental health provider and get a full evaluation.

4. Finding healthy ways to cope with grief: Whether you’re experiencing prolonged grief or not, it may be beneficial to find healthy ways to honor your loved one and move forward. For example, you might cope with grief by creating a memory box, participating in a cause that mattered to your loved one, or holding rituals that help you stay connected.

5. Trying therapy or psychiatric care: Not everyone who experiences grief will need mental health support. But it could be helpful to talk to a therapist — especially if grief is getting in the way of your day-to-day functioning. A therapist or grief counselor can help you process painful emotions and give you a safe place to talk about your loss. Some people also benefit from seeing a psychiatric provider for medication to manage symptoms (like grief-related anxiety), even if they only take it temporarily.

Clinician's take

One important sign to watch for is when grief begins showing up as physical symptoms that don’t improve. This might include ongoing exhaustion, changes in appetite or sleep, and/or frequent illnesses. The body often carries what the heart and mind can’t release. In these situations, professional support can help you not only process your emotions but also restore balance and care for your physical well-being.

Ashley Ayala, LMFT

Clinical reviewer

Find care with Rula

Complicated grief can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. If this test helped you realize that you may be living with prolonged grief disorder, you might benefit from extra support. Working with a mental health professional can make it easier to carry your loss while finding ways to keep living your life fully.

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.