How to heal emotionally after being fired

If you’ve ever been fired, the feelings you’re experiencing are valid. Experts consider this one of the most stressful life events. It follows closely behind major life transitions like divorce and the death of a loved one. It can be hard to even begin to understand how to cope after getting fired from a job.

But there are healthy ways to deal with the pain of this loss and protect your well-being. If you’re experiencing difficulties with this life change, working with a therapist can also be helpful.

The mental health impacts of losing a job

Getting fired from a job can trigger painful emotional reactions. Not only is it a major loss, but it also usually happens suddenly.  

Some of the emotions you might feel after getting fired include:

• Sadness and grief

• Hopelessness about the future 

• Anxiety and fear about finances

• Worthlessness and guilt

• Helplessness

• Anger toward your employer or yourself

• Shame or embarrassment when telling others

Involuntary job loss is also considered one of the most stressful life events we can face. Stressful events like these can become risk factors for mental health conditions, including:

• Depression

• Anxiety

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

• Substance use disorder (SUD)

Research has found that, for men specifically, job loss significantly increases the likelihood of using antidepressants and being hospitalized for mental health reasons. Another study found that women who were fired were more likely to face depression — especially if they felt a lack of support from their partners. 

Another factor to consider in the U.S. is losing your health insurance. When you get fired, you might also lose access to affordable healthcare. You may have difficulty accessing services, as you’ll now have to pay for them out of pocket or at a high copay. This might mean no longer being able to go to therapy, refill prescriptions, or get medical treatment when you need it — which can further impact your mental health.

Ways to support your well-being after being fired

Getting fired is undeniably a stressful and triggering life experience. It’s more important than ever during this time to find healthy ways to take care of your mental well-being.

1. Acknowledge your emotions

Identify and try to make space for the emotional reactions you’re having after getting fired. Because of the financial aspects of job loss, many of us immediately jump to problem-solving when this happens. While the logistics are important, it’s also helpful to spend some time staying present with your feelings.

Consider what emotions getting fired has brought up for you. For example, you might be feeling guilty, afraid, or even angry. Just being able to name these emotions can help you untangle everything you’re feeling.

2. Get closure, if you can

In some scenarios, it might help to get some closure about what happened. For example, your supervisor or human resources director might be able to tell you what led to you getting fired. You can get some of your questions answered, understand the decision better, and consider how you can learn from this moving forward.

This isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about learning something from the experience. Unfortunately, not all organizations will be able to provide this closure but opening the lines of communication may provide you with clarity. 

3. Avoid substance use

It may be tempting to drink or use other substances to cope with the pain of getting fired. You might have a lot of extra free time, which can make that temptation even stronger. But even though these substances may help you forget your woes or manage your feelings temporarily, they’ll probably make you feel worse in the long term. Using unhealthy substance use to cope can also become a risk factor for substance use disorder (SUD). Try to avoid substances and use healthier coping strategies to manage your emotions during this challenging time.

4. Remember your strengths

Think about the skills, qualities, and accomplishments you’ve built over your career so far. It may also help to use this time to build on some of your strengths. For example, you might finish a certification that would move you forward in your career.

You can also try to list all of your other strengths that have nothing to do with your job. This can be things like being an active listener or a supportive friend. It can be natural to hyperfocus on our faults after getting fired. But remembering your strong qualities can be a protective factor for your mental well-being.   

5. Deal with the logistics

Anxiety around finances and the future is one of the hardest parts about losing your job. Problem-solving around these concerns might help lift some of those fears.

You can start by applying for unemployment benefits right away so you have some financial stability while you search for your next role. It can also help to review your budget, reduce unnecessary expenses, and explore temporary or freelance work. Updating your resume and applying for jobs — even small steps each day — can give you a sense of momentum and control.

6. Get support

Not everyone who gets fired needs to go to therapy, but it can be very helpful. A therapist can give you space to process what happened and how it’s affected your self-esteem, identity, and mental health. They can also help you manage feelings like shame, anger, or hopelessness, and guide you toward practical coping strategies. 

In some cases, therapy can also help you prepare for future job interviews by building confidence and addressing fears about returning to the workforce.

Clinician’s take

A mindset shift that often makes a big difference is moving from ‘I’ve been rejected’ to ‘This experience is redirecting me.’ Seeing it as a transition rather than a final judgment helps people regain a sense of agency. Then, they can view the setback as an opening for new possibilities instead of a reflection of failure.

Ashley Ayala, LMFT

Clinical reviewer