After more than 12 years working in social media — both behind the scenes for global brands and as a creator myself — I’ve experienced the incredible ways these platforms can spark connection, creativity, and community.
But I’ve also seen how quickly they can drain energy, heighten comparison, and disconnect you from your needs. Over the course of my career as a social media strategist, the things about social media that once felt inspiring have often become overwhelming, especially when the pressure to perform collides with my personal life.
Eventually, I realized something needed to shift. I didn’t want to abandon social media altogether because that’s where I’ve built relationships, opportunities, and joy. Instead, I wanted to use it in a way that felt grounding rather than draining. My intention became simple: I wanted to move slower, create from a place of authenticity, and protect my emotional and creative capacity. That mindset shift is what led me toward a more mindful approach to being online.
Four practices that helped me reset my relationship with social media
A healthier relationship with social media didn’t come from stepping away forever. Rather, it came from redefining how I engaged with it.
I stopped viewing social platforms as spaces I had to keep up with and started treating them as environments I could participate in on my own terms. That meant noticing how certain habits affected my mood, paying attention to moments when comparison crept in, and giving myself permission to rest when being online didn’t feel good.
From there, I built supportive practices — practical habits grounded in mindfulness and self-compassion — that helped me stay connected without sacrificing my peace.
Practice 1: Setting boundaries around availability
For a long time, I believed that being active online meant being constantly available. I responded to nearly every DM and comment because it felt like part of the job. But that openness slowly turned into pressure. I taught people to expect immediate access to me, even when I didn’t have the bandwidth to respond.
I shifted my mentality when I realized that being visible isn’t the same as being accessible. I started letting messages wait. I allowed myself to close the app. I stopped responding the moment a notification appeared. And nothing collapsed. If anything, I felt more grounded.
Healthy boundaries are a form of self-care, especially online. If you have a hard time setting boundaries around social media use, therapy can help you explore why constant availability feels necessary and how to create space without guilt.
Practice 2: Curating a feed that supports mental health
One day, I opened Instagram and realized I was following nearly 7,000 accounts — far more than I could actually absorb. Many were remnants of old interests or aspirational content that no longer aligned with who I am today.
So I decluttered. I unfollowed accounts that didn’t make me feel grounded, inspired, or joyful. This wasn’t about creating an echo chamber. It was about designing an online environment that felt supportive rather than overwhelming. After curating my feed with intention, scrolling felt less like a chore and more like a choice.
Practice 3: Using therapy to separate identity from performance
Therapy has played a central role in reshaping my relationship with social media. For years, I linked my worth to how well I presented myself online — how consistent, visible, or successful I appeared.
Therapy helped me step back and ask deeper questions, like:
Talking through these patterns with a therapist helped me reconnect with a sense of self that wasn’t tied to productivity or visibility. I began to view social media less as a stage and more as a tool — a place where I could explore, create, and connect without defining myself by likes.
Whether you have a strong social media presence or use these platforms more casually, other people’s perceptions of you can start to have a negative effect on your mental health. If you’ve ever felt like your online persona and real-life identity are tangled together or don’t align in some way, a therapist can help you learn to show up more authentically.
Practice 4: Picking up hands-on hobbies
The truth is, willpower alone couldn’t stop me from mindlessly opening apps. My thumb knew the motions too well. I needed a physical interruption — something that occupied my hands and my focus.
That’s how painting became part of my wellness routine. With a brush in one hand and a palette in the other, there was no way to scroll. Painting gave me a creative outlet with no pressure, no audience, and no expectation of perfection. It reminded me that creativity can exist purely for joy.
Hands-on hobbies — like painting, gardening, cooking, or crafting — can create meaningful breaks from digital noise. And there are so many options to choose from, so you can find something that brings you a bit of peace.
Progress isn’t always linear — and that’s OK
Even with these practices, I still have days when I scroll too long or fall into the comparison trap. Mindfulness doesn’t mean eliminating those moments. Rather, it means noticing them and choosing a gentler response. It’s a practice you return to, not a destination you arrive at.
Even though most of us live part of our lives online these days, that doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to slow down. We’re allowed to take breaks. We’re allowed to show up intentionally, not constantly. And we’re allowed to protect our peace as we navigate a digital world that never stops moving.
Find care with Rula
If you’re looking to build a healthier relationship with social media, support is available. Therapy can help you understand the patterns that impact your online experience and guide you toward habits that feel more aligned with your well-being goals.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 21,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
