Key Takeaways
- Many teens with ADHD face challenges with motivation due to how their brains are wired. It’s not a reflection of their capabilities or your parenting style.
- As a parent, you can help your child feel motivated by demonstrating empathy, breaking down large tasks into smaller steps, making boring tasks more fun, and celebrating small victories.
- Working together with school personnel, coaches, and medical providers can help your child feel supported. For additional support, there are therapists who specialize in working with teens with ADHD.
If you’re raising a teenager with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you may notice some issues with their motivation. Your teen might have difficulty with everyday tasks or their schoolwork or begin to withdraw socially. If your child exhibits any of these behaviors, it doesn’t mean they’re lazy or incapable. Rather, these are all classic examples of how ADHD can impact motivation.
A loss of motivation isn’t a reflection of your child’s intellect or the result of your parenting choices. It’s tied to how their brains are wired. However, these challenges can still create stress for teens and parents. If you find yourself feeling frustrated or worried about your child, know that you’re not alone. With the right support, your child can manage their ADHD, reignite their motivation, and achieve their full potential.
Living with ADHD can be challenging, but several strategies can help you empower your teenager to get motivated.
1. Show empathy
When a teen’s motivation drops, some parents respond with frustration — threatening consequences or insisting, “I know you can do this.” But when a teen’s struggles are dismissed or misunderstood, it can make things worse instead of better.
Instead, try to lead with empathy in those difficult moments. This can help defuse tension and strengthen your relationship with your teen. Showing empathy doesn’t mean removing boundaries or expectations. It’s about being intentional in the way you communicate with your teen about their challenges.
For example, instead of saying “You’re just being lazy,” try: “I can see this is really hard for you right now. Let’s figure out how to tackle it together.”
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2. Break it down
If your teen gets overwhelmed by large tasks, help them break things down into smaller steps. For example, let’s say your teen has a big history project due in a few weeks. You know they haven’t started, and they’re procrastinating. You also know that history is their least favorite subject, and that can zap their motivation too.
You can let your teen know that while the project isn’t optional, you understand how they feel and want to help. Together, see if you can break the project into phases. Once they complete one phase, celebrate it! Honoring small wins along the way can help sustain motivation.
3. Make it fun
Life is full of unenjoyable tasks. But there’s no rule that says we can’t try to make them a little more fun. Consider your teen’s preferred activities and interests. Look for ways to incorporate them into boring or difficult tasks.
For example, see if you can “gamify” some household chores. Set a timer, and challenge your teen to see how quickly they can get something done. You can also use podcasts, music, or movement to help boost focus and make boring tasks feel more manageable. These tools can help activate your teen’s brain and reduce the mental resistance they might feel when starting something hard or repetitive. The goal is to build momentum in a way that feels supportive rather than stressful.
4. Be vulnerable
ADHD often runs in families. So if your teen has ADHD, there’s a good chance that you might have it too. This can mean that you have powerful firsthand knowledge of being a neurodivergent person in a world not always designed with them in mind. Sharing your experiences with your teen can bring you closer together and help them feel less alone.
Although, the strategies you use to manage your ADHD might not be a perfect fit for your teen. Everyone has different needs. But sharing how you cultivate motivation might inspire your teen to do some experimenting on their own. Talking about ADHD is also a way to reduce the impact of stigma. By hearing your story, your teen can learn that their diagnosis isn’t something to feel ashamed of.
5. Ask for help
All children benefit when the caring adults in their lives are on the same page. So if your teen seems unmotivated, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Talk to their teachers, coaches, or school counselors and ask if they’d be willing to work together in supporting your teen.
If you think your teen needs additional help, you may wish to seek a professional evaluation. If they receive a formal ADHD diagnosis, you can begin to explore treatment options. This can include individual, family, or group therapy, medication (if needed), and other supports. With the right support system in place, your teen can learn to manage challenges and thrive in their own way.
Why self-motivation matters for teens with ADHD
ADHD is often thought of as a childhood condition. But it affects people of all ages. Left untreated, ADHD can lead to ongoing challenges for children, teens, and adults. While some symptoms of ADHD can become less severe as a person gets older, problems with motivation can continue into adulthood.
Self-motivation is a critical life skill. Without it, a person may have trouble succeeding at work or school. They may find it difficult to make friends, care for themselves, and sustain healthy relationships. But know that with the right support, your teen can harness the motivation they need to thrive. By helping your teen improve their motivation now, you can set them on the path to independence in adulthood.
One common misunderstanding is thinking that lack of motivation means a teen with ADHD is lazy or doesn’t care. In reality, their brain has difficulty with task initiation and reward processing. So even things they want to do can feel hard to start without the right support.
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If your teen has ADHD, they may seem unmotivated. They may have trouble completing schoolwork or other tasks. This is often due to the unique way their brains are wired. It’s not a character flaw or the result of your parenting style. If your teen needs additional support, don’t hesitate to ask for help. There are therapists who specialize in supporting neurodivergent teens and their families. They can help your teen increase their motivation and achieve their potential.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
About the author
Liz Talago
Liz Talago, M.ed. is a mental health professional turned content writer and strategist based in the Detroit metro area. As an independent consultant for mental health organizations, Liz creates meaningful connections between brands and their audiences through strategic storytelling. Liz is known for championing diverse perspectives within the mental health industry and translating bold ideas into inspiring, affirming digital experiences.
In her free time, you can find her hiking with her two German Shepherds, puttering around her dahlia garden, or spending time with her family.
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