Talking openly with your psychiatric provider about BPD, even early on, helps you get the right support sooner.
It’s OK to ask direct questions and share your feelings honestly. Your provider is there to listen without judgment.
Being honest and asking questions helps you build trust with your provider and get the care that fits your needs.
If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you might be wondering how to talk to your psychiatrist about it. It can feel scary to bring it up, but talking openly with your psychiatric provider is an important step toward getting the right help. BPD can affect your emotions, relationships, and how you see yourself — and a psychiatric provider can help you make sense of those experiences.
Psychiatric providers are trained to diagnose mental health conditions like BPD and can offer treatment options, including therapy referrals and medication if needed. Therapy is often a major part of treatment plans for BPD. But a psychiatric provider can do a thorough evaluation to rule out other mental health diagnoses or physical health issues that may be contributing to symptoms. They can also go over any current or past medications you’ve tried.
Opening up might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s a strong step toward feeling more understood and supported.
Don’t wait until it gets worse
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by your emotions or having trouble in relationships, it might be time to talk to your psychiatric provider about BPD. You don’t need to wait until things feel out of control. Bringing up your concerns early can help you get the right support sooner. Even if you’re unsure if it’s BPD, talking openly with your provider can make a big difference.
Some things that are worth bringing up to your provider:
Intense mood swings that are hard to manage
Fear of being abandoned or rejected
Difficulty keeping relationships steady (like frequent breakups, intense arguments, or going back and forth between feeling really close to someone and feeling distant)
Sudden changes in how you see yourself
Strong anger, emptiness, or impulsive actions
Talking about these experiences matters, as your provider can help clarify what’s happening and guide you toward effective care. It’s normal to feel nervous, but taking that first step shows strength.
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Bring up BPD if it’s on your mind
If you think BPD might explain some of your feelings and behaviors, it’s OK to be direct with your provider. You don’t have to wait for them to bring it up or drop hints. Starting the conversation honestly helps your provider understand you better.
You might say something like:
“I’ve read about BPD, and some parts feel familiar.”
“Can we talk about whether this fits what I’m going through?”
This isn’t self-diagnosing. Rather, it’s a way to open the door to support. A good provider will listen carefully and work with you to understand your experience.
Ask about a diagnosis if you’re unsure
You can ask your provider if you might have BPD. This shows you’re looking for clarity, not trying to label yourself. These questions might sound like, “Could this be BPD?” or, “Would it be helpful to get screened or evaluated?”
Getting a diagnosis can help guide your treatment and give you answers. But the most important thing is that you’re getting the best help for the symptoms you have. The symptoms of BPD overlap with the symptoms of several other mental health diagnoses and it’s possible to have co-occurring conditions. These can include depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, ADHD, and other personality disorders. And if it turns out BPD isn’t the right fit at all, your provider can help you explore other options to support your mental health.
Remember you’re in a judgment-free zone
When you talk to your psychiatric provider about BPD, it’s normal to worry about being judged or sounding like you’re just “self-diagnosing.” But your provider’s job is to listen, not to criticize. You’re allowed to share what you’re experiencing — even if you’re second-guessing yourself or unsure how to explain what you’re feeling.
Being honest is one of the best things you can do, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Your provider can’t help with what they don’t know. The more open you are, the easier it is for them to understand what’s going on and how to support you. You deserve care that meets you where you are — and it starts with speaking up.
Stay open if your provider disagrees with you
Sometimes, your psychiatric provider might not agree that you have BPD, even if you feel strongly that it fits your experience. This doesn’t mean you’re being shut down or that your feelings don’t matter. Diagnosing mental health conditions can be tricky, and your provider is trying to find the best way to help you.
To keep the conversation helpful:
Stay open to their feedback.
Ask questions like, “Can you help me understand why you think this might not be BPD?”
Use this as a chance to get clearer about your needs and next steps.
Be prepared with questions for your provider
When you talk to your psychiatric provider about BPD, it’s helpful to have some questions ready. Asking questions shows you want to understand your experience better and be involved in your care.
You might consider asking:
What signs should I watch for to understand if this is BPD? This helps you learn what to pay attention to and how symptoms might show up.
How is BPD diagnosed? Knowing the process can help you feel more prepared about what to expect.
What treatment options are available? This lets you know what kinds of therapy, medication, or support might help you feel better.
How long does treatment usually take? Understanding the timeline can help you set realistic goals and stay patient with yourself.
What can I do between appointments to manage my symptoms? This opens the door for you to get practical tools to use daily and help you manage symptoms.
How will I know if treatment is working? Knowing how progress is measured can motivate you and help you notice positive changes.
Remember, your psychiatric provider wants to help you. Asking questions not only helps you understand BPD better but also builds a stronger relationship with your provider. Don’t hesitate to ask anything that’s on your mind — even if it feels small or unimportant.
Many people with BPD I have worked with have already tried multiple kinds of treatment either with or without the correct diagnosis. This can be demoralizing. I wish more people knew there’s hope for recovery with the right care.
Stephanie J Reed, MSW, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Clinical reviewer
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Starting a conversation with your psychiatric provider about BPD can feel scary, but it’s an important step toward getting the right help. Speaking up early, being honest, and asking questions can help you better understand your experience and access the care you need.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
Stephanie J Reed, MSW, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Stephanie started her career in mental health as a clinical social worker in 1997. She’s been practicing as a psychiatric nurse practitioner since 2020. She’s worked in many settings, including in labor and delivery as an RN, in child protection, in community mental health, and in an urban clinic affiliated with the Indian Health Service.
Her passion for mental health comes from a desire to provide the kind of care and education for people that she wishes had been available to her family. Good mental healthcare can be transformative for people and families, and it’s work that she’s very proud to be part of.
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Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
