How to tell trauma crying from ‘normal’ crying

Crying is a normal part of the human experience and it’s very much like an emotional release valve. Most of us are familiar with the relief that comes after a “good cry,” and research shows that it’s important for maintaining well-being. 

There’s no right or wrong way to cry. But if your crying is getting in the way of your daily functioning, it can be cause for concern. In some instances, intense crying can be a trauma response, which is sometimes called “trauma crying,” a “crying spell,” or a “crying attack.” 

Learning more about the relationship between trauma crying and other forms of crying can help you know when to ask for help.

What does a crying spell feel like?

Although it’s not a clinical term, a crying spell can be a distressing experience. It happens when a person cries uncontrollably, often without a known trigger. Having an occasional crying spell doesn’t mean you have a mental health concern. But if it happens frequently enough that you’re concerned, it could be a sign that you’re living with depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or another mental health condition.

A trauma-induced crying spell may not provide the same sense of relief that accompanies other forms of crying. It might leave you feeling physically and emotionally depleted — especially when it occurs alongside other PTSD symptoms, like nightmares or flashbacks. 

Left untreated, frequent crying spells can negatively impact your life in many ways. They can make it difficult to work, attend school, care for yourself, and maintain your relationships.

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Are your tears a response to trauma or something else?

If frequent crying is affecting your functioning, it can be helpful to examine the cause. Understanding where your crying is coming from can help you access the support you need to manage it. For example, people living with PTSD may cry more often than others. 

So, if you’ve experienced traumatic events, your tears could be a trauma response. This is because PTSD is linked to an overabundance of stress, and crying can be a way to self-soothe. Research shows that crying releases “feel-good” brain chemicals called endorphins that help reduce physical and emotional pain. Crying can also lower your blood pressure, release toxins, and lower anxiety.

Ways to manage trauma-related crying

Whether your tears are the result of trauma or another trigger, crying is typically a response to physical or emotional pain. Although some people mistakenly believe that crying is a sign of weakness, that simply isn’t true. No matter the reason for your tears, it’s important to be kind to yourself. 

If trauma-related crying is disrupting your life, here are some tips that can help:

1. Know your triggers: Sometimes trauma-related crying spells can occur seemingly out of nowhere. But, if possible, try to notice what happens right before you begin to cry. Does it happen in certain places or situations? With specific people? What’s happening in your mind and body beforehand? Being able to predict your crying spells can help you manage them.
2. Self-soothe: If a crying spell is already underway, give yourself permission to self-soothe. This could mean moving to a private place, doing a grounding or breathing exercise, or connecting with someone you trust. Sometimes, just getting some fresh air or splashing some cool water on your face can help reset your nervous system and reduce stress.
3. Self-care: After a trauma-induced crying spell, you might feel physically and emotionally drained. This is a time for self-care, however that looks to you. Do some gentle, calming activities that lift your spirits, even if it’s just taking a nap.
4. Ask for help: If crying is negatively affecting your life, you don’t have to navigate this experience alone. A trauma-informed therapist can help you uncover the root cause of your crying and learn strategies to address the effects of trauma in healthy ways.

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Crying can be a natural and helpful form of emotional expression and stress relief. But for some people, it can also be a trauma response that can be difficult to control. If you’re struggling with crying in the aftermath of trauma, know that you’re not alone and help is available. With the right support, you can discover new ways to manage strong emotions and heal from traumatic experiences.

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.

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