Exploring the ‘why’ behind angry crying

People cry for different reasons. You may find yourself weeping during a sad movie, in response to losing a pet, or during a joyous occasion. Crying can also serve as an emotional release and a way to express emotions to others. But you may wonder why you cry when you’re mad. 

It’s normal to cry while being angry. However, if it feels overwhelming or it disrupts your day frequently, it may be time to seek support. A mental health professional can help you uncover the causes behind your angry tears, teach you skills to manage them, and determine if an underlying mental health condition is linked to your tears.

The science behind angry crying

It might not seemingly make sense that anger can lead to tears. You might consider crying as a self-soothing behavior. Or you might only cry when you’re sad. It’s understandable if you’re confused when faced with angry crying because it may seem like you’re crying for no reason.  

When we experience intense emotions like anger, the body’s stress response can become activated. This sets off the fight-or-flight response and can lead to physical reactions like a rapid heart rate and tense muscles.  

For some people, the emotional overwhelm sets off a cascade of tears too. That can happen because crying can be a way to release emotional stress. 

Anger can also mask sadness. For some people, it can feel less vulnerable to show rage rather than sorrow. This can be especially true for men who live in cultures where anger is more acceptable to show than sadness.

Understanding the psychology behind angry crying can empower you. Knowing why angry tears happen can help you accept the experience. It might also motivate you to figure out what’s behind your tears.

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3 reasons you cry when you’re mad

It can be frustrating to not know the source of your angry crying. Reflect on the following situations, and see if you can relate:  

1. Existing or undiagnosed mental health conditions

Certain mental health conditions can contribute to anger. For instance, people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often experience anger. For some people, this can produce angry tears. Trauma also has a strong link to anger and can create difficulty with vulnerable emotions. This can lead to crying for different reasons, and knowing the cause can help you manage crying spells. 

Anxiety and anger can also be connected. Research shows adults with anxiety disorders have higher levels of anger than those without anxiety disorders. Some people with anxiety also suppress their anger. This can cause frustration, which can lead to an anxiety-fueled sobbing session. 

Other conditions can play a role, too. People with depression may experience irritability and emotional overwhelm that can lead to angry crying. People with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD) may struggle with emotional regulation. This can make it harder to manage sudden mood shifts or intense feelings. Identifying the root cause of these emotional responses — whether it’s trauma, anxiety, or another condition — can be a helpful step toward better coping skills and support.

2. Natural traits

You might be more naturally prone to aggression. This doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Research shows that genetics can play a big role in shaping how we respond to stress, threats, or frustration. This means some people may have a lower threshold for feeling overwhelmed or reactive.

Having a naturally strong fight response doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you may need to build skills for recognizing your early warning signs for anger. Then you can manage these intense feelings in healthy ways. Learning those skills is possible — and you don’t have to do it alone.

3. Toxic environments

Unhealthy environments can create emotional distress. You may feel angry being unfairly subjected to a micromanaging boss at work. Or you might feel anger trying to communicate with an emotionally unavailable partner. 

These situations can lead to a mix of emotions like anger, sadness, and frustration. And it’s completely valid if your body responds with tears. Angry crying doesn’t mean you’re weak or out of control. It often signals that your emotional boundaries have been pushed too far. Recognizing how your environment affects your emotions is a powerful first step toward making changes or seeking support.

Managing big emotions and angry tears

It can feel overwhelming to manage angry crying, especially if it’s a frequent occurrence. It might take time away from things you’d rather invest energy in, like your loved ones or leisure activities. You might also feel like it takes over your life.

Practices that can help you manage your angry tears include:  

• Accept your emotions. Research shows that suppressing your emotions can actually make you feel worse. Instead of pushing away your anger, allow yourself to feel it. You might find you don’t feel as mad afterward.  
• Find ways to self-soothe. Feeling angry can be uncomfortable, but there are ways you can calm this intense emotion. For example, a consistent mindfulness practice or exercising can help your body feel more at ease. Your anger might get to a point where it feels like it’ll spill over. Journaling, talking to a friend, or practicing anger management skills can ensure it doesn’t get to a tipping point.
• Release tears when you’re in a safe place. Sometimes you may feel like you can’t cry because of the location or scenario, like being in public or while talking to your supervisor. Excusing yourself to a private place may be a good option.
• Be gentle with yourself. It can be exhausting to cry, and you may feel drained afterward. If you can, take the rest of your day slowly. This could look like taking time to yourself, resting, or spending time with trusted family and friends.
• Seek treatment. Therapy can provide an outlet for you to express your anger to a mental health professional. They can help you practice healthy coping skills and dig into the reasons for your anger.

Find care with Rula

Crying is natural, and it can be a helpful emotional release. You might also find yourself shedding tears when you’re angry. This is normal too, but if you find that it consumes your day, help is available.

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.

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