Key Takeaways
If you have autism, your emotions might feel more intense or harder to understand, and that’s OK.
There are real reasons why emotions can feel overwhelming to autistic people, like sensory overload or having trouble putting feelings into words.
Tools like self-soothing, asking for support, and working with a mental health provider can help you manage emotions in ways that work for you.
If you’re living with autism spectrum disorder (autism or ASD), you might notice that emotions can feel intense, hard to name, or confusing at times. You may feel things deeply but struggle to explain them. Or you may not realize how you're feeling until later. This is a common experience for many autistic people.
The connection between autism and emotions can look different for everyone. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Your brain just processes emotions in a unique way. Learning more about this can help you better understand yourself and find ways to cope that feel helpful.
How people with autism process emotions
If you’re living with autism, you might experience emotions differently than neurotypical people. You may feel emotions more strongly, struggle to put them into words, or need extra time to understand what you’re feeling.
To help manage intense or confusing emotions, you might:
These are all valid ways of coping, even if they don’t match how neurotypical people usually express emotions. There are still many wrong ideas about autism and emotions. Some people think autistic people don’t care or can’t feel for others, but that isn’t true.
Many people also misunderstand how anger shows up in people with autism. Autistic people can be judged harshly for having meltdowns or getting upset, even though these are natural ways to react to stress or too much sensory input. Having strong emotions doesn’t make you a bad person or “too much.” You just show your feelings in your own way, and that’s totally OK.
Why emotions can be challenging for autistic people
If you’re autistic, you may find that dealing with emotions feels harder than it seems for others. That’s not because you’re doing something wrong. There are real reasons why emotional experiences can feel more intense, confusing, or overwhelming for you.
Some common factors that can make emotions challenging include:
Sensory processing differences: You might be more sensitive to sounds, lights, textures, or other sensory input. When your environment feels overwhelming, it can make your emotions feel more intense or harder to manage.
Alexithymia: This is when it’s hard to recognize or describe your own emotions. You might feel upset or uncomfortable but not know exactly why, which can be frustrating and make it harder to ask for help.
Impulse control difficulties: You may react quickly when your emotions are strong, like yelling or walking away, even if you didn’t mean to. This isn’t about being rude. It’s your brain trying to cope with a big feeling in the moment.
Executive functioning challenges: This means it can be harder to plan, organize, or control your reactions. When strong emotions come up, it might be tough to pause and think before reacting.
Social communication differences: You might find it harder to read other people’s emotions or express your own feelings in ways people expect. This can lead to misunderstandings or frustration.
Co-occurring mental health conditions: Conditions like anxiety and depression often happen alongside autism and can make managing emotions even harder.
These challenges can affect your daily life in many ways. You might struggle with friendships or feel misunderstood by people who don’t get what you’re going through. You may also feel embarrassed, judged, or like something’s wrong with you. In reality, your brain just processes emotions differently. Understanding why emotions feel tough can help you be kinder to yourself and find better ways to cope.
Helpful tools for managing emotions with autism
Managing your emotions when you have autism can feel hard sometimes. But there are tools and strategies that can help you feel more in control and understood. These strategies include:
Engaging in self-soothing behaviors: These are things you can do to calm yourself when your emotions get too strong. It might be stimming (like rocking or tapping), deep breathing, listening to music, or finding a quiet space. These actions can help your body and mind relax.
Understanding and processing emotions: Sometimes, it helps to slow down and try to name what you’re feeling. Tools like an emotion chart or wheel can give you words to describe your feelings more clearly. You can also use emotion journals or apps to track what you’re feeling and what might be causing it. These tools can help you make sense of your emotions and figure out what you need.
Advocating for your emotional needs: It’s OK to tell people how you’re feeling and what support you need. You might say things like, “I need a break,” or, “This is overwhelming for me.” Speaking up helps others understand you better and can make challenging situations more manageable.
Getting support from a professional: Working with a therapist or psychiatric provider can teach you skills to identify, express, and manage your emotions in ways that feel right for you. They can offer coping strategies, therapy, and (if needed) medication to help you feel more balanced and supported.
Remember, managing emotions is a skill you can build over time. Using these tools can help you feel more confident and in charge of your feelings.
Clinician's take
If words don’t come easily, try using visual tools — like an emotion wheel or color chart — to match how you feel to images or colors. You can also check in with your body. Noticing things like tension, heaviness, or restlessness can give you clues about what emotion you might be feeling. Over time, this kind of practice can build emotional awareness in a way that feels more natural and authentic.
Find care with Rula
If you’re autistic and emotions feel overwhelming or hard to explain, you’re not alone. Many people on the spectrum experience emotions differently — and there are real reasons why. With the right tools and support, you can better understand your feelings and feel more supported in daily life.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
