Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can affect physical intimacy — especially if you have a subtype known as contamination OCD.
Contamination OCD involves obsessive thoughts related to personal hygiene, sexually transmitted diseases, and other contamination risks.
Talk therapy, like exposure and response prevention (ERP), can help you manage intrusive thoughts and reduce unhealthy compulsions.
Contamination OCD involves an intense fear of dirt, germs, and bodily fluids. It’s one of the most common types of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a mental health condition characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. If you or your partner are experiencing symptoms, you may be wondering about the link between contamination OCD and sex.
For some people, intimacy can be a trigger for intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. You might worry about feeling clean, getting an infection, or being exposed to fluids — all of which can impact your libido and comfort with sex. Fortunately, certain strategies and support can help you manage your symptoms and enjoy more satisfying sexual experiences.
How contamination OCD disrupts intimacy
If you have contamination OCD, you may be more likely to experience feelings of disgust. And that disgust may cause you emotional distress. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to enjoy physical intimacy when you’re disgusted by the idea of bodily fluids, like sweat, saliva, or semen.
Like other types of OCD, contamination OCD involves a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts that can be extremely upsetting. In an attempt to resolve the anxiety caused by obsessions, people with OCD engage in compulsive behaviors, like excessive handwashing. In the long run, you can get stuck in a cycle of anxiety, which can impact all aspects of life. And the bedroom is no exception.
For example, before physical intimacy, you might feel the need to:
Shower excessively to feel clean
Ask your partner to shower, wash their hands, or brush their teeth to your standards
Excessively inspect condoms, sex toys, or sheets for dirt or other contaminants
Prepare cleaning supplies, like wipes or towels, for when you’re done
While some of these behaviors might seem like personal preferences, what sets contamination OCD apart is the level of distress someone feels if they can’t complete these actions. For someone with OCD, skipping a ritual like showering before sex isn’t just uncomfortable — it can feel overwhelming or even unbearable.
OCD obsessions and compulsions may continue during sex. These can include:
Having intrusive thoughts about germs or other contaminants
Avoiding certain behaviors, like kissing or oral sex
Interrupting sex to wash your hands or other parts of your body
Wearing gloves or multiple condoms to avoid contamination
You may even continue to ruminate after intimacy. For example, you might replay the event in your mind to make sure you didn’t make any hygiene mistakes.
The care you need, when you need it
Learn how Rula can support your mental health journey
Hidden impacts of contamination OCD on sex and identity
Contamination OCD is one of the most common types of OCD. But just because it’s common doesn’t make it any less distressing. Having OCD can make physical intimacy stressful, complicated, and unpleasant. Instead of enjoying time with your partner, you might be distracted by the idea of exposure to germs or contracting an STI. You may even avoid sex or physical contact altogether.
Having OCD can also make you feel self-conscious during sex. For example, you might wonder if your body is clean enough or if you might contaminate your partner in some way. This can trigger anxiety and distress that takes you out of the moment.
Research shows that it’s common for people with OCD to feel embarrassed about their obsessions and compulsions. As a result, you might be more likely to create distance between you and your partner or avoid being honest about how your symptoms impact your sex life.
Steps toward a healthier sex life with contamination OCD
Living with contamination OCD can make physical intimacy more difficult, but it doesn't mean you have to avoid sex altogether. For many people, healing starts with professional support.
You might want to consider seeing a therapist who specializes in OCD if you're:
Avoiding sex because of intrusive thoughts like, “I might get an STD,” or, “I’ll never feel clean after sex”
Struggling to enjoy sex because of your obsessions and compulsions
Distancing yourself from your partner(s) because you don’t want or enjoy physical intimacy because of the distress it may cause
While you may be hesitant to discuss your sex life with a therapist, talking about your obsessions and compulsions can help you learn how to manage them. One of the most common treatments for OCD is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) called exposure and response prevention (ERP).
ERP challenges you to accept obsessive thoughts without engaging in your usual compulsions. With the support of your therapist, you’ll learn to identify your triggers and gradually confront your fears in a safe environment.
Other tips for coping with intimacy issues related to OCD include:
Practicing mindfulness: Mindfulness means accepting the present moment, including upsetting thoughts, without judgment.
Labeling your thoughts: Intrusive thoughts can feel very real, but it’s important to remind yourself that they’re not a reflection of you, your partner, or your experiences.
Communicating with your partner: If it feels like your OCD symptoms are coming between you and your partner, let them know. For example, you might say something like, “I want to be here with you, but my OCD can make me feel uncomfortable with sex.”
A common mistake is avoiding sex or trying to make everything feel ‘perfectly clean,’ which can actually make OCD stronger over time. Getting stuck in these habits can keep you from feeling relaxed and connected.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
Find care with Rula
Contamination OCD symptoms can feel debilitating and all consuming, but treatment is available. Working with a therapist can help you understand your condition, manage your symptoms, and develop healthy coping methods. Support from an OCD therapist may improve the way you experience physical intimacy.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Alex Bachert
Alex Bachert is a freelance copywriter and mental health advocate. Since earning her masters degree in public health, she has focused her career on creating informative content that empowers people to prioritize their health and well-being. Alex has partnered with organizations like Ro, WellTheory, and Firsthand, and her work has been recognized by the Digital Health Association.
When she’s not writing about mental health, Alex is usually playing pickleball, meeting with her local board of health, or enjoying time with her three kids.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
Rula's editorial process
Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
