Occasionally, you might encounter someone who truly doesn’t like you. But if you think that everyone you know hates you, this might be something to explore.
Feeling like everyone’s against you can take a toll on your self-esteem, mental and physical well-being, and relationships. It could make it harder to engage socially and cause you to spend more time alone.
If you’re struggling to feel accepted, talking to a therapist can help.
Have you ever gotten the sense that everyone’s against you? Or maybe you feel like, no matter what you do, no one’s on your side? No one wants to go through life feeling unwanted, disliked, or even hated. As human beings, we’re wired for connection. So, feeling like an outsider can be an isolating experience.
Of course, we all have the capacity to do or say things that might alienate us from others. But if you constantly think that everyone hates you, something deeper might be going on. Exploring the underlying reasons why you might be feeling this way can help you make positive changes and feel more connected.
Why you might feel like people hate you
You might feel disconnected or disliked for a variety of valid reasons. The following information isn’t intended for people who are experiencing bias, discrimination, or other forms of systemic hatred. These societal problems aren’t your fault, and they can’t be solved by one person alone.
This information is designed to help those who might be vulnerable to thinking others hate them due to other factors, like:
Past experiences: If you were ostracized or treated poorly in the past, you might come to expect that will always be the case. For example, maybe you experienced bullying or other forms of abuse in childhood. Research shows that these experiences can make you more sensitive to social rejection in adulthood.
Attachment style: Our attachment style is shaped by our earliest connections with our primary caregivers. Children who don’t receive enough love and nurturing may grow up to have an insecure attachment style. This may create a barrier to satisfying social relationships later in life.
Trauma: Trauma is known to cause cognitive distortions. With trauma, you might see things in an overly negative way. It could make it difficult to accurately perceive reality. Thinking that everyone hates you (when this is objectively untrue) could be a cognitive distortion.
Mental health: Your mental health can affect your social well-being. For example, research shows that depression can cause people to feel misunderstood and judged by others. However, this is believed to result from social stigma and not the depression itself.
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The weight of feeling like everyone’s against you
If you feel like everyone’s against you, it can take a toll on your self-esteem. You might start assuming you’ll be rejected even if that isn’t the case. In response, you might stop engaging socially. You might quit doing activities you usually enjoy and start spending more time alone.
Loneliness, low self-esteem, and a lack of social support can seriously harm your health and well-being. Research shows that social isolation (even if just perceived) can lead to:
Poor sleep
Problems with executive functioning (the skills we need to complete tasks of daily living like planning and organizing)
Cognitive decline
Heart problems
Weak immune system
What you can do about feeling disliked
If someone truly dislikes you, you might not be able to change their mind. After all, the only thoughts we can control are our own. As you move through life and meet new people, you might not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s OK.
However, if you’re feeling like everyone you encounter dislikes you, that might not be entirely true. Try shifting your perspective with these strategies:
Interrupt patterns. Learning to spot unhelpful thoughts like, “No one likes me,” and, “Everyone hates me,” can help you interrupt them before they take over. It can also give you the chance to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Consider the “evidence.” When you have an unhelpful thought, ask yourself what’s really true. For example, maybe you sent someone an email, and they didn’t respond as soon as you’d expected them to. You worry they’re not responding because they don’t like you. But could it be possible they’re just really busy?
Strengthen your support network. If you have people in your life who love and accept you, try to spend more time with them, even if it’s just a small group. You can also look for opportunities to forge new connections. For example, you could volunteer for a cause you care about to meet likeminded people.
Ask for help. If social struggles are negatively affecting your mental health, relationships, and quality of life, it’s OK to ask for help. A therapist can help you understand your feelings, identify and replace unhelpful thoughts, and rebuild your self-esteem.
When someone feels convinced that others dislike them, I remind them that our brains can act like funhouse mirrors — distorting reality and making neutral interactions look negative. Therapy can help untangle those distortions and create space for a more balanced view of how others see you.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Constantly thinking that everyone hates you can harm your mental health and could signal something deeper at play. You can try to shift your perspective by interrupting unhelpful thoughts, strengthening your support system, and talking to a therapist. These strategies may help you feel more confident and accepted in social settings.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Liz Talago
Liz Talago, M.ed. is a mental health professional turned content writer and strategist based in the Detroit metro area. As an independent consultant for mental health organizations, Liz creates meaningful connections between brands and their audiences through strategic storytelling. Liz is known for championing diverse perspectives within the mental health industry and translating bold ideas into inspiring, affirming digital experiences.
In her free time, you can find her hiking with her two German Shepherds, puttering around her dahlia garden, or spending time with her family.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
Rula's editorial process
Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
