Are you overreacting, or is there something deeper at play?

Have you ever wondered if you’re overreacting? 

An overreaction describes an emotional response that seems disproportionate to the situation. For example, let’s say you end up in tears after a brief disagreement with a friend. Or you find yourself screaming at someone who cuts you off in traffic. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell whether you’re overreacting or having a reasonable response to a stressful event. 

All emotions are valid, even if they feel intense at the time. But what might inspire a major reaction in you might not affect other people in the same way. Emotional responses are often tied to past experiences, personality traits, stress levels, and other factors below the surface. 

So if you’re having trouble regulating your emotions, and it’s negatively affecting your life, it might be something to explore. Learning more about overreacting can help you better understand yourself and get professional support if you need it. 

How to tell if you’re overreacting

Signs of overreacting can be internal or external. They might be physical signs or responses from other people. 

Explore these tips to help you determine if you’re overreacting: 

• Scan your body. If you’re physically safe but your body is acting like you’re in serious danger, you might be overreacting. For example, are you shaking and sweating? Is your heart pounding? 

• Consider others’ responses. You’re the only person who gets to decide whether your emotions are valid. But if others seem genuinely caught off guard by your reaction to something, it could be a sign that you’re overreacting.

• Know your triggers. If you’re experiencing intense emotions, try to pinpoint where they’re coming from. Are you reacting to something that just happened or something upsetting that happened in the past? Overreactions can happen unexpectedly when we’re triggered.

• Look for evidence. If you’re having overwhelming, catastrophic thoughts like, “I’ve completely screwed this up, and no one will ever forgive me,” pause to ask yourself if that’s really true. If you don’t have evidence to validate those “worst-case scenario” thoughts, you might be overreacting.

• Look for misalignment. We all make mistakes and do or say things that we regret. But if your emotional reactivity is causing you to behave in ways that feel misaligned with your identity or values, it could be an overreaction.

Understanding the roots of big reactions

There’s nothing wrong with having big feelings and expressing them. But if you frequently struggle with emotional dysregulation, something deeper might be going on. 

Some factors that may lead to outsized reactions to perceived stressors include: 

• Trauma: People who experience trauma may have more trouble regulating their emotions.

• Mental health concerns: Conditions like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), borderline personality disorder (BPD), and bipolar disorder are known to affect emotional regulation.

• Neurodivergence: Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) can lead to difficulties with social communication and emotional regulation. 

• Substance use: Any mind-altering substance can affect the way a person experiences and expresses emotions. 

• Fatigue: A lack of sleep can impact self-regulation and may lead to overreacting for some people.

• Stress: Intense stress can lead to increased emotional volatility. In some cases, overreacting may be a stress response.

What to do when emotions run high

If overreacting is negatively affecting your mental health, relationships, or daily functioning, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Chronic overreaction could be a sign of an underlying mental health condition, which may require professional help to manage. 

Fortunately, therapy can help you get to the root of your big reactions and improve your self-regulation skills. Additionally, individual strategies can help you cope when emotions run high. 

Strategies might include: 

• Cultivating self-compassion. If you’re having a big response to something, remind yourself that it’s probably tied to something deeper. 

• Being curious. Try to avoid judging your overreactions too harshly. Instead, ask yourself what you can learn from them. 

• Taking a breath. If you feel strong emotions bubbling to the surface, stop and focus on your breath. This small pause can give you time to be more intentional.

• Caring for your body. Try to get adequate rest, eat balanced meals, and make time for movement. Caring for your physical well-being is an important part of emotional regulation.

• Trying a reframe. Overreacting and catastrophic thinking often go hand in hand. For example, if you’re thinking something like, “My friend is 10 minutes late to dinner. I bet they're avoiding me.” You could reframe the situation as, “Maybe they’re stuck in traffic or running late.”

Clinician's take

If you tend to blame yourself after emotional reactions, here’s a reframe: emotions are not proof of weakness or failure, they’re signals. Instead of asking, ‘Why did I react like that?’ try asking, ‘What was my emotion trying to tell me?’ Shifting from shame to curiosity opens the door to growth and self-compassion.

Ashley Ayala, LMFT

Clinical reviewer

Find care with Rula

Everyone probably overreacts once in a while. But if you’re having trouble regulating your emotions all the time, it could be cause for concern. Chronic overreacting can be a sign of emotional dysregulation. This can come from trauma, stress, fatigue, and a variety of mental health concerns. You can gain more control over your reactions with the right tools and support, including talking to a therapist. 

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.