Think you have relationship anxiety? Take our test

Relationship anxiety isn’t a formally recognized mental health condition, but it’s an emotional experience that many people face. People with relationship anxiety have persistent doubts, worries, or insecurities about their romantic relationship — even when things are going well. They might find themselves thinking, “I’m not sure if we’re incompatible or I’m overthinking things,” “This relationship is doomed,” or, “Things are too good to be true.”

Relationship anxiety can make it hard to connect with your partner. You may second guess yourself and your feelings or worry things may end even though they are moving along. This can be confusing and hard to fully understand. It can also make it difficult to be present and engaged with your partner. But when you’re able to identify what’s causing it, you can take the necessary steps to get the support you need and deserve.

It can be tricky to differentiate between relationship anxiety and a gut feeling that something is wrong in your relationship. This relationship anxiety test may help provide some insight.

Take the relationship anxiety quiz

If you think you might have relationship anxiety — either in your current relationship or in a past one — then this relationship anxiety quiz can help you start finding some answers. This self-assessment is based on clinical knowledge and expertise, but it isn’t designed to replace evaluation or treatment from a qualified mental health provider.

How the relationship anxiety test works

Our relationship anxiety test was created by a licensed therapist. It’s designed to help you understand if the emotional experiences you’re feeling could be a sign of relationship anxiety.

Answer each question with “yes,” “no,” or “sometimes.” Try not to overthink your answers, and go with your gut.

1. Do you feel like something is just “not right” in your relationship?
   • Yes
   • No
   • Sometimes
2. Do you feel like your partner(s) doesn’t fully understand you?
   • Yes
   • No
   • Sometimes
3. Do you often seek approval or reassurance from your partner?
   • Yes
   • No
   • Sometimes
4. Do you worry about the future of your relationship?
   • Yes
   • No
   • Sometimes
5. Does it feel difficult to connect emotionally with your partner(s)?
   • Yes
   • No
   • Sometimes
6. When you experience an argument or conflict with your partner(s), do you tend to move forward without actually resolving the issue?
   • Yes
   • No
   • Sometimes
7. Do you frequently examine past interactions and conversations with your partner?
   • Yes
   • No
   • Sometimes
8. Do you and your partner have very different interests?
   • Yes
   • No
   • Sometimes
9. Do you find that one partner puts in significantly more effort than the other?
   • Yes
   • No
   • Sometimes
10. Do you tend to experience this in every relationship/friendship/interaction? *this question indicates a personal difficulty rather than a relationship-specific issue
    • Yes
    • No
    • Sometimes

Quiz content written by Lolly Coleman, MS, LMFT.

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If you answered “yes” or “sometimes” to all or most questions, you may be experiencing relationship anxiety. 

But other factors could be at play here as well. If you answered “no” to most of these questions but still feel a sense of unease within your relationship, you might be experiencing an underlying anxiety disorder that isn’t directly related to your relationship.

But remember: No online quiz can replace accurate assessment and diagnosis from a qualified mental health provider. You can use these results as a starting point, but they’re not a final answer. Rather, they’re one piece of information to help guide your next step.

What your results mean for your relationship

Maybe this test helped you put some worries to rest. But you know yourself best. Even if your results showed you don’t have relationship anxiety, you might still be feeling unease. You deserve support to understand the cause of your anxiety. 

Whether your relationship anxiety is specific to your current relationship or part of a larger pattern, talking with a therapist can help you overcome it.

A therapist can:

• Help you identify whether your anxiety is rooted in past experiences or current relationship dynamics
• Teach you coping tools to regulate anxiety so you’re not stuck in spirals of overthinking or fear
• Explore if what you’re experiencing could be a sign of an anxiety disorder or relationship OCD (ROCD), which can involve obsessive doubts about your partner or the relationship
• Heal from past relationship trauma that could’ve resulted in your current anxiety
• Uncover your attachment style and how it could be affecting how you feel in your relationships

It’s important to note that relationship anxiety doesn’t mean that your experience is just “in your head.” You may have underlying anxiety or relationship dynamics may be contributing to your feeling that something’s off. Both things can be true at the same time. 

If factors in your relationship are making you feel anxious, couples counseling could help. A couples therapist can help you navigate relationship dynamics even if your relationship isn’t facing a crisis. They can help you and your partner understand each other better, develop healthier patterns, and even explore the possibility of parting ways with compassion if that’s what feels right.

Find care with Rula

Relationship anxiety can be confusing and painful to deal with, but it doesn’t have to affect your relationship forever. With support, you can learn how to build healthy, safe, and lasting connections with the people you love.

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.

Find a provider with Rula