Key Takeaways
ADHD doesn’t only affect the person living with it. It can impact the entire family in emotional, practical, and financial ways.
Learning about ADHD together can help reduce blame and tension.
With treatment and family support, ADHD symptoms can be managed, and relationships can grow stronger.
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) — especially untreated — can cause a lot of distress for the person who lives with it. While that life experience is unique, family members are affected as well. Research shows that ADHD and family relationships have a conflictual relationship. Families with a child who has untreated ADHD tend to have more tension and lower quality of life.
This is why ADHD treatment is so important. ADHD can come with many strengths as well as challenges. And with the right treatment and support, your family can come to understand this condition better and strengthen the bonds you have with one another.
How ADHD can affect the whole family
When one person has ADHD, the whole family can be impacted. Most research around how ADHD impacts families has been done around children with ADHD and their parents. But families can be impacted regardless of which member lives with the condition.
It’s also worth noting that ADHD often runs in families. So if one person in the family lives with ADHD, another family member might have it too. This can sometimes make it easier to be understanding and empathetic. But it can also make things even more stressful if more than one person has this condition.
Here are some specific ways that ADHD can affect the entire family.
Impulsive behavior
Children and adults with ADHD often show impulsive behavior. This can have serious emotional and practical impacts on the whole family.
For example, children with ADHD may engage in reckless or dangerous behaviors that cause worry for their parents. Adults with ADHD might overspend or gamble with household money. Any of these problems can lead to stress for everyone in the family.
Household tasks
ADHD symptoms like disorganization and paralysis can lead to difficulty with household tasks like chores. Children might have a difficult time completing things like homework. Adults with ADHD might have challenges with taking on their fair share of household responsibilities, which can put more weight on their partners.
Anger
Anger can become an issue both for the person living with ADHD and their family members. Although anger isn’t an officially recognized symptom of ADHD, many people with ADHD have a hard time regulating their emotions. Family members can lose their temper because they get frustrated or have a hard time understanding the symptoms of ADHD.
Family quality of life
The quality of life of the entire family can be impacted by ADHD. For example, children with ADHD are much more likely to get injured. This can lead to parents needing to take more time off work to make sure their child is safe.
ADHD has a significant financial impact as well, both indirectly and the direct cost of treatment. And it may be hard for the entire family to spend time together. These factors can all affect the family’s quality of life.
Burnout
Family members may experience burnout from the caregiving duties that may be required for someone with ADHD. Children with ADHD often require more hands-on parenting. The child might show some oppositional behaviors or get in trouble at school, which can become frustrating.
Over time, parents may feel drained from constantly supervising, redirecting, or advocating for their child — which can lead to burnout.
Judgment from others
Lastly, sometimes the hardest part of having a family member with ADHD isn’t the ADHD itself but how society reacts to it. Stigma continues to be very real.
Especially as a parent, you might get unsolicited advice from others about how to manage your child’s behavior. This experience can feel exhausting for the whole family.
Ways to manage ADHD’s impact as a family
If your family is impacted by ADHD, it’s important to avoid pointing fingers of blame. ADHD is no one’s fault. It’s a neurodevelopmental condition that children are likely born with. People with ADHD have both strengths and weaknesses. The goal is to come together as a family to understand each other and maintain strong, compassionate relationships despite the challenges that ADHD might present.
1. Learn about ADHD together
Understanding the science behind ADHD can help take the focus away from blame and resentment and shift it toward empathy. Taking time to read about the condition, attend workshops, or talk openly about it as a family can reduce misunderstandings. Including siblings in these conversations can be especially helpful, since they may otherwise feel confused or overlooked.
2. Be kind to yourself
People with ADHD may learn to blame or judge themselves for their symptoms and the way they impact loved ones. Parents of children with ADHD may also blame themselves. You might worry if something you did (or didn’t do) caused your child’s symptoms.
The importance of self-compassion can’t be stressed enough. Reminding yourself that ADHD isn’t caused by bad parenting or personal weakness can reduce guilt and create more space for patience and understanding.
3. Get ADHD treatment
ADHD treatment is highly effective and can make a big difference in both behavior and relationships.
Treatment often includes a combination of medication and therapy. Medication may improve focus and reduce impulsivity symptoms. Therapy can teach you healthy coping strategies and problem-solving skills. Parent training or skills-based therapy can also help families work together if there’s a child involved.
4. Consider family therapy
Family therapy can give everyone a chance to speak openly about the challenges of ADHD in a supportive environment. A therapist can help improve communication, teach problem-solving strategies, and guide families toward healthier patterns. It can also help you all work through conflict and strengthen the bonds you have with one another.
Clinician's take
A common mistake families make is trying to ‘willpower’ their way through ADHD without professional support. It’s like trying to navigate a complex map without a compass — you might make progress, but it’s usually frustrating and exhausting. Guidance and treatment can make the journey much smoother for everyone involved.
Find care with Rula
ADHD can be challenging both for the person who lives with it as well as their family members. It can affect routines, communication, and emotions. But with treatment, compassion, and support, families can learn to reduce stress and build stronger connections.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
