Alexithymia — sometimes called emotional blindness — makes it hard for people to recognize and talk about their feelings.
One study showed that around 42% of participants with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) also had alexithymia.
Self-care strategies and professional treatment can help you manage both alexithymia and ADHD more effectively.
If someone asks you how you’re feeling, you might say you’re sad, angry, or happy. But for people with alexithymia and ADHD, it can be hard to put those feelings into words. For example, they may feel tense and restless but not realize it’s because they’re nervous about an upcoming doctor’s appointment.
With the right support, many people with alexithymia and ADHD can learn to notice what they’re feeling in their body and find the right words to describe those feelings. Therapy can also teach tools for staying focused and handling tough situations without shutting down or feeling overwhelmed.
Signs of alexithymia in ADHD
Alexithymia means having a hard time understanding or explaining your emotions. It’s not the same as apathy, which means not feeling emotions at all. People with alexithymia feel emotions, they just have trouble putting those feelings into words.
Alexithymia doesn’t cause ADHD, but it can sometimes make symptoms worse if you feel overwhelmed. Some people with both ADHD and alexithymia may share certain experiences, like:
Feeling anxious or impulsive: If you have both ADHD and alexithymia, anxiety can make you overthink, while impulsivity can push you to act without thinking things through.
Appearing less caring: Because people with alexithymia and ADHD have difficulty recognizing emotions — both their own and others’ — it can be hard to show empathy or know how to comfort someone who’s upset.
Experiencing emotional blunting: When ADHD, alexithymia, and emotional blunting (feeling numb or flat) overlap, it can make emotional connection even harder. You might seem distant or unmotivated, even when you care a lot. Sometimes, this emotional confusion can lead to pulling away from others or avoiding social situations.
Other common signs of alexithymia include:
Low awareness of internal body signals: You might forget to eat because you don’t feel hungry, or eat too much without noticing.
Trouble naming or describing emotions: It can be difficult to know you feel “off,” but you’re not sure if it’s sadness, anger, or anxiety. You might say “I feel weird” instead of using specific words like anxious or excited.
Fear of closeness: You might face challenges due to insecure adult attachment and avoid deep talks due to worry about rejection. This may affect your relationships.
Unexplained physical symptoms: Alexithymia can cause you to feel tense, tired, or have stomachaches, without knowing why.
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Why emotions are hard to identify with ADHD
Many people with ADHD don’t realize they also have alexithymia. They might feel confused when trying to talk about their emotions or unsure how to explain how they’re feeling. Often, friends or family are the first to recognize the signs of alexithymia.
There’s no one test to determine if you have alexithymia. But your healthcare provider can ask questions and use a screening tool like the Toronto Alexithymia Scale (TAS-20) to measure things like how often you feel unsure about your emotions, if it’s hard to put your feelings into words, and whether you tend to focus more on facts than emotions.
Ways to manage alexithymia with ADHD
Dealing with both alexithymia and ADHD can be tough, but there are ways to manage. With the right support and practice, you can learn to better understand yourself and connect with others.
Some strategies to consider include:
1. Use a feelings wheel
A feelings wheel is a visual aid that organizes emotions into categories. It can be a helpful tool to help name what you’re feeling. For example, you might know that you’re feeling bad but you’re unsure why. After setting aside time to use the wheel, you might realize that you’re actually feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Try to check in with yourself a few times a day.
2. Keep a journal
Reflect and write down what happened during the day, how your body felt, and what you think you were feeling. Even short notes can help you build emotional awareness by creating a safe, low-pressure way to explore thoughts, bodily sensations, and possible emotions over time.
3. Build body awareness
Mindfulness, yoga, or breathing exercises can help you notice how your body reacts to emotions. Over time, you may start to connect a fast heartbeat with anxiety or tight muscles with stress. Learning these patterns is a great first step in understanding your feelings.
4. Seek out social support
Connecting with others who have ADHD and alexithymia — whether in person or through online support groups — can help you feel less alone and learn helpful ways to cope. This can provide safe, consistent opportunities to practice emotional awareness and connection. Over time, these interactions can become practice grounds for recognizing, naming, and communicating feelings more confidently.
5. Try therapy
Talking with a therapist can teach you how to recognize and name your emotions. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps you spot thought patterns and connect them to your feelings. Other types of therapy that can help with managing alexithymia and ADHD are dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and emotionally focused therapy (EFT).
A therapist can help break down overwhelming feelings into manageable parts, teach grounding and labeling techniques, and create a safe space for practicing emotional expression without judgment.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
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Learning to identify and explain your emotions can be hard — especially if you live with alexithymia and ADHD. With support and practice, you can learn tools to better understand and manage both. A therapist can help you notice patterns in your thoughts and behaviors and guide you in putting your feelings into words.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Linda Childers
Linda is an award-winning medical writer with experience writing for major media outlets, health companies, hospitals, and both consumer and trade print and digital outlets.
Her articles have appeared in the Washington Post, USA Today, WebMD, AARP, Brain+Life, HealthyWomen.org, The Rheumatologist, California Health Report, Everyday Health, HealthCentral, and many other media outlets.
While juggling the responsibilities of being part of the “sandwich generation” and caring for both her toddler son and terminally ill mother, a nurse friend encouraged her to seek therapy, which helped her to learn coping strategies and manage her depression. Linda hopes her work will help to destigmatize mental health conditions and encourage others to get the help they need.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
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