The power of alone time for your emotional well-being

Each of us has a social battery, and what we need to keep a steady charge varies. Some people are social butterflies who feel energized by social activities and large groups. For others, too much socializing can be draining. They may like peaceful, quiet activities and prefer to spend most of their time on their own. Many people are somewhere in the middle, and the amount of social time you crave can change throughout life.  

As you think about how much alone time you need, keep in mind that there’s a difference between solitude and loneliness. Spending time alone can provide a sense of peace, self-connection, and self-reliance. Learning more about the power of solitude for emotional well-being can help you find the balance of social and alone time that works for you.

How much alone time you need is personality-driven

Human beings are hardwired to connect. But different people need different types and amounts of social interaction. Research suggests that some of these preferences are personality-driven. 

For example, extroverts tend to be more social and may enjoy group activities. Introverts are usually less socially inclined. But that doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy connecting with friends or that they can’t experience loneliness. It just means that they may need less social activity to feel connected and recharged, and they may get overwhelmed by too much of it.

Why you might prefer alone time

Let’s say that you have the day all to yourself. How would you choose to spend it? If you immediately picture doing something on your own in a relaxing environment, there’s nothing wrong with that. Enjoying alone time doesn’t mean you have a mental health concern. However, if you prefer to spend most of your time alone, it could be linked to:

• Brain functioning: Introverts may be more reactive to stress and stimulation (including socializing) due to how their brains are wired. That may be why you feel tired after spending time in a group. 

• Mental health: Certain mental health conditions can make socializing more difficult. For example, depression can lead to withdrawal, and social anxiety disorder (SAD) can make it harder to engage with others. 

• Neurodiversity: People with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) may experience sensory overload. In response, they may need to decompress by spending time alone. Continually, people with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) often experience rejection sensitivity disorder (RSD) which may keep them from engaging socially as a way of self-protection. 

Why you might have difficulty with alone time

Now, let’s say you have a day all to yourself, and the first thing you want to do is call all of your friends and get them together. There’s nothing wrong with that, either! Spending time with friends and loved ones is good for your mental health, and it can also be a lot of fun. But let’s say none of them returned your call, or they couldn’t hang out. If you feel anxious at the thought of spending the day alone, that could be something to explore. If you prefer to constantly be surrounded by others, it could be linked to:

• Brain functioning: Extroverts’ brains release a larger dose of dopamine (one of the happiness hormones) when socializing. That may be why doing social activities is so rewarding to you.

• Mental health: In some instances, sudden and intense changes in social behavior could signal the presence of bipolar disorder or another mental health condition. However, more research is needed to understand the connection between extraversion and mental health.

• Social masking: Masking is when a person with a mental health or developmental condition goes to great lengths to conceal their symptoms. For example, a person with ASD may have trouble detecting social cues, and that may make them self-conscious in social situations. So they might compensate by attempting to appear extroverted.

Signs you may need more alone time

The “right” amount of alone time varies from person to person. You might benefit from some solitude if you:

• Can’t recall the last time you had a few uninterrupted hours to yourself

• Find yourself losing patience or becoming easily irritated

• Are experiencing burnout and rarely get time to relax

• Have been taking care of others but not looking after yourself

• Are tempted to pass on social invitations you’d usually gladly accept

• Simply feel like you need some alone time

The mental health benefits of spending time alone

With busy schedules and near-constant digital stimulation, it can be tough to find time to slow down and embrace some solitude. But experts say that spending time alone occasionally can do great things for your mental health. Spending time alone can give you a chance to:

• Experience a sense of rest, relaxation, and calm

• Release uncomfortable emotions (like anxiety, stress, or anger) 

• Focus on your relationship with yourself (an important part of having positive relationships with others)

• Boost your confidence, knowing that you’re capable of being on your own

How to find joy in the time you spend alone 

Spending time alone doesn’t have to be lonely. With a little practice, it can become something you look forward to. Here are some tips to help you embrace a little solitude:

• Plan ahead. To find the right balance between alone time and social interaction, notice how you feel after socializing. Are there certain events, activities, people, or places that leave your social battery on low? If so, scheduling some solo time after similar interactions or situations can give you something to look forward to.

• Do something you enjoy. Alone time doesn’t have to mean sitting in silence. You can journal, read, draw, paint, go for a walk, or do any solo activity that brings you joy.

• Set some limits. If you’re new to alone time or the idea makes you a little anxious, give yourself a time limit. For example, you can set a timer and start with 15 minutes or whatever amount of time feels right for you.

• Talk about it. If you live with other people who could interrupt your alone time, you may need to set a boundary. If you’re a caregiver, it’s OK to ask someone to lend a hand while you take some time for yourself. 

• Ask for help. If you’re having a hard time being alone, it may help to talk to a therapist. They can help you explore the reasons why you feel this way and take steps to repair your relationship with solitude.

Clinician's take

An overlooked benefit of solitude is that it gives people space to hear their own thoughts without external influence. That quiet self-connection often reduces reactivity, sharpens intuition, and helps them feel more grounded in their choices.

Ashley Ayala, LMFT

Clinical reviewer

Find care with Rula

Some people love socializing, some crave solitude, and many enjoy a bit of both. But unlike loneliness, which can negatively impact your mental and physical health, spending time alone is important for your well-being. Carving out solo time can be tough, especially when you’re busy. But even just a few moments to yourself can provide an emotional reset and give you a chance to reconnect with yourself.

If you find it challenging to strike a balance between socializing and spending time alone, know that it’s OK to ask for help. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore the feelings you associate with solitude and learn to be more comfortable spending time with yourself. 

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.