Research has found that over 30% of adults experienced loneliness at least once a week.
Chronic loneliness has been linked to an increased risk for developing both physical and mental health conditions like heart disease, diabetes, depression, substance use, sleep problems, and personality disorders.
Therapy can help you learn healthy coping mechanisms for loneliness and depression as well as how to prioritize connection.
Loneliness is a feeling nearly everyone encounters at some point. It might happen after moving to a new city, experiencing a breakup, or navigating a major life change. Wanting connection and a sense of belonging is entirely natural.
Persistent feelings of loneliness can sometimes lead to depression. Therapy is one of the best ways to prevent or alleviate depression and learn how to foster a sense of community. Through therapy, you can learn how to rebuild a sense of purpose, strengthen social connections, and work through feelings of loneliness and depression.
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Are you depressed, lonely, or both?
Depression and loneliness share symptoms, which can make it hard to tell if you’re experiencing one or both. In fact, a recent report found that 81% of adults who felt lonely also reported experiencing anxiety or depression. Understanding the differences can help.
Loneliness is a feeling of being isolated and lacking meaningful connections. People who’re lonely might feel like their current relationships lack depth or meaning. They might spend more time on social media or online to make up for a lack of in-person interactions.
Feeling lonely from time to time is normal and isn’t always a sign of a mental health condition. However, chronic loneliness — when it’s frequent and impacting your day-to-day life — may be cause for concern.
Depression is a mental health condition that goes beyond temporary sadness and affects mood, energy, and your ability to function. People with depression may experience:
Persistent sadness: Depression is characterized by feeling down, empty, or like life is meaningless.
Loss of interest: You might lack interest in activities you once enjoyed.
Physical symptoms: Depression can show up as fatigue, changes in appetite, or unexplained aches and pains.
Difficulty functioning: If you’re depressed, you might find yourself struggling with daily work duties or making decisions.
While loneliness can often improve by forming meaningful social connections, depression brings persistent feelings of sadness even when surrounded by others. Sometimes, people with depression push others away, creating a cycle of longing and isolation.
If you’re unsure whether you’re experiencing loneliness, depression, or both, a therapist can help you better understand your feelings and develop a treatment plan that supports your well-being.
Why do I feel so lonely?
Loneliness can be the result of not working, living alone, or difficulty making friends. One study found that nearly 30% of adults aged 50 to 80 felt isolated “some of the time” or “often.”
Several factors may contribute to loneliness, including:
Remote work and less in-person interaction
Social media replacing face-to-face connection
Major life changes or loss
Mental health conditions like anxiety or depression
Chronic stress or burnout
Difficulty building close relationships
Some experts even consider loneliness an epidemic.
Can loneliness cause depression?
Research shows that loneliness can contribute to and result from depression. In other words, loneliness can make you feel depressed, while depression may make you want to isolate yourself from others.
In some cases, loneliness and depression can be the result of unresolved trauma, life transitions, or unmet family needs, like living apart from close family members. A therapist can help uncover these root causes and work with you to address them effectively.
Why do I feel lonely even though I have friends and family?
It’s possible to feel lonely even when you’re surrounded by other people. Loneliness is more about the quality of connection than the number of relationships you have. Some people feel emotionally disconnected, misunderstood, or unable to fully open up — even with close friends or family members.
In some cases, people may withdraw emotionally, have difficulty feeling present in relationships, or feel disconnected from others even when support is available.
How to overcome loneliness and depression
When you feel depressed and lonely, taking action can feel overwhelming or even out of reach. But small, positive steps — like prioritizing self-care, seeking support from a therapist, and building meaningful connections — can help improve your well-being and bring joy back into your life.
If you’re feeling depressed and lonely, consider these steps:
Challenge negative thought patterns: Depression often brings about negative self-talk and beliefs. You might feel defeated or believe your loneliness is due to being unlikeable. Cognitive behavioral therapy, a form of talk therapy, can help you reframe your thoughts and develop a more positive outlook.
Start small: Connecting with someone doesn’t need to be a big, fancy occasion. Think of someone you’d like to spend some time with, and reach out. This could look like a phone call or enjoying a cup of coffee or tea together. Even simple, straightforward social interactions can make your day brighter.
Schedule in social time: Consider social engagements part of your routine, just like you might keep an exercise or skincare routine. You might commit to meeting up with someone once a week or joining a local run club or pickleball team.
Volunteer: Nonprofit organizations are always looking for help — whether it’s caring for animals, reading to children, or serving meals to people who are experiencing homelessness. This can help you meet others with similar values or interests.
Get a social prescription: Some healthcare providers now offer “social prescriptions” to help their patients address loneliness and depression. Instead of medication, these prescriptions connect you with community-based activities, like joining a dance class or spending time with others in nature.
Treatment options for depression
If loneliness is connected to depression, professional treatment can help. Depression is manageable, and many people begin feeling better with the right support and care.
Treatment options may include:
Therapy: Therapy can help you explore emotions, relationship patterns, negative thoughts, and feelings of isolation.
Psychiatry and medication: Some people benefit from medication to help manage symptoms like sadness or loss of interest in daily life.
Lifestyle changes: Sleep, movement, social connection, stress management, and daily routines can all support mental health and emotional well-being.
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Being socially isolated for a great length of time can be a risk factor that can lead to depression. Noticing if you have been pulling away from others or are in a life situation where you don’t interact with many people (like with remote work or a recent move) can be the first step in actively carving out time to engage with others.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
Find care with Rula
Loneliness and depression are common, but you don’t have to face them alone. Talking with a therapist can provide you with support, coping strategies, and encourage connection.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
Linda Childers
Linda is an award-winning medical writer with experience writing for major media outlets, health companies, hospitals, and both consumer and trade print and digital outlets.
Her articles have appeared in the Washington Post, USA Today, WebMD, AARP, Brain+Life, HealthyWomen.org, The Rheumatologist, California Health Report, Everyday Health, HealthCentral, and many other media outlets.
While juggling the responsibilities of being part of the “sandwich generation” and caring for both her toddler son and terminally ill mother, a nurse friend encouraged her to seek therapy, which helped her to learn coping strategies and manage her depression. Linda hopes her work will help to destigmatize mental health conditions and encourage others to get the help they need.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
Rula’s editorial process
Rula’s editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
