Aroace, short for aromantic asexual, describes people who feel little or no romantic or sexual attraction to others. It’s not a choice but a real and valid sexual orientation.
People who identify as aroace can still have strong and meaningful connections with others.
A therapist can give you a safe, supportive space to explore your feelings and better understand what being aroace means for you.
Maybe when your friends talk about dating, you don’t feel the same excitement. Maybe when you see romance depicted in movies, it’s not interesting to you. Maybe you have no desire to have sex.
This can be confusing or isolating. But you’re not alone — and your experience is valid. Aroace is a sexual orientation that describes people who are both aromantic and asexual. Our aroace test can help you explore your feelings and learn if this identity makes sense for you.
Take the aroace quiz
A licensed therapist created our aroace test. It’s designed to help you gain a deeper understanding of your sexual orientation, desires, and if you might identify as aroace.
Being asexual, or “ace,” means you feel little or no sexual attraction to others. Being aromantic, or “aro,” means feeling little or no romantic attraction. People who are aroace can still have close friendships and strong connections. Their relationships just aren’t about romance or sex.
This quiz isn’t a medical test, and there are no right or wrong answers. Your results can be a good starting place to discuss with someone you trust, like a good friend, a support group, or a therapist, who will listen without judgment.
For each question, answer with a yes, no, or maybe. Try not to overthink your answers and just go with your gut feeling. Remember, this test isn’t meant to label you or tell you exactly who you are. It’s just a tool to help you reflect and learn more about yourself.
1. Do you feel different from your peers when it comes to relationships and dating?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
2. Do you find that you can’t relate to other people’s experiences with dating or sex?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
3. Do you feel little to no interest in romance and dating?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
4. Do you feel little to no interest in sexual intimacy?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
5. Do you prefer family connections or deep friendships over romantic relationships?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
6. Is the idea of dating, kissing, and having sex unappealing to you?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
7. Have you pursued romantic and/or sexual relationships because you feel like you “should” but don’t have any actual interest in them?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
8. Are your strongest connections ones that don’t involve romance or physical intimacy?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
9. Does the idea of spending life without a romantic partner sound appealing to you?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
10. Do the terms “aromantic,” “asexual,” and “aroace” resonate with you and your experiences?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
Quiz content written by Lolly Coleman, MS, LMFT.
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How this test explores your orientation
By answering the questions honestly, you might start to notice patterns in your feelings or experiences.
If you answered “yes” to most of the questions, you may identify as aroace. This means you might not feel sexual or romantic attraction. But you may still want a deep, lifelong partnership. Not everyone who’s aroace wants marriage. Many find happiness in close partnerships that aren’t romantic yet just as meaningful.
If you answered “no” to most of the questions, you may not identify as aroace. You might identify as demisexual, meaning you only feel attracted to people you have a strong emotional connection with. You might also be graysexual, which means you only feel sexual attraction rarely or under certain circumstances.
If you answered “sometimes” to most of the questions, you may be romantic but not sexual, or sexual but not romantic. Sexuality can be fluid. Your feelings about romance and attraction can change over time. Some people know their sexual orientation from a young age and it stays the same. Others notice changes as they grow and have new experiences.
Whatever your result, you deserve relationships that feel right for you.
What your results mean for your relationships
With a deeper understanding of yourself, you can communicate your desires more effectively to those around you. You can also build the relationships that make sense for your identity and life.
It may be helpful to explore other identities on the aroace spectrum too. Some terms you might find include:
Demisexual: Someone who only feels sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional connection
Demiromantic: Someone who only feels romantic attraction after forming a close bond
Graysexual (or Gray-A): Someone who feels sexual attraction rarely or only in certain situations
Grayromantic: Someone who feels romantic attraction rarely or only under specific situations
Queerplatonic: A deep and committed relationship that goes beyond a typical friendship but isn’t necessarily romantic or sexual; this doesn’t mean queer in terms of gender or sexual identity
Some people think being aroace means you just haven’t met the right person, but that’s not true. Being aroace is a real identity, not a phase or something to fix.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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In a society that values amatonormativity, you might feel pressure to date, get married, or find a partner. But for aroace people, there’s very little or no desire to have sex or romance. If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Talking with a therapist can provide you with a safe, supportive space to explore your identity and build confidence in who you are.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
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Linda Childers
Linda is an award-winning medical writer with experience writing for major media outlets, health companies, hospitals, and both consumer and trade print and digital outlets.
Her articles have appeared in the Washington Post, USA Today, WebMD, AARP, Brain+Life, HealthyWomen.org, The Rheumatologist, California Health Report, Everyday Health, HealthCentral, and many other media outlets.
While juggling the responsibilities of being part of the “sandwich generation” and caring for both her toddler son and terminally ill mother, a nurse friend encouraged her to seek therapy, which helped her to learn coping strategies and manage her depression. Linda hopes her work will help to destigmatize mental health conditions and encourage others to get the help they need.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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