Understanding meltdowns as an adult with autism

A meltdown is an intense physical and emotional response to  overwhelming stress. Meltdowns are associated with a range of neurodevelopmental and mental health conditions, including autism spectrum disorder (ASD). While you might think only a child could have an autistic meltdown, adults can also have this response to overwhelming sensory input,  emotional stress, or unexpected changes. 

Fortunately, there are resources and coping skills to help people with autism recognize their triggers and manage their meltdowns in a way that feels safe and empowering. 

What an autistic meltdown can feel like

Autism affects how people perceive and process information. When someone with autism feels overwhelmed by their surroundings, they may find it difficult to express their thoughts and feelings — resulting in what appears to be a meltdown. 

For autistic adults, meltdowns can involve:

• Emotional outbursts: Crying, shouting, and visible distress are common symptoms of an autistic meltdown. 
• Difficulty communicating: Some people shut down, dissociate, or withdraw during meltdowns — making it difficult to communicate with others.
• Behavior change: You might start pacing, rocking, grinding your teeth, or hitting objects.

Meltdowns vary based on each person and trigger, but they typically last for 20–30 minutes once you identify their cause. In some cases, people can learn to recognize signs of a meltdown when they’re still in the “rumble stage.” During this stage, you’ll begin to show signs of anxiety and distress, but it’s possible to address those feelings before they evolve into a meltdown. 

Several noticeable signs may signal that someone is in the rumble stage. For example, you might repeat questions like, “Can we leave?” or, “What should I do?” You may also exhibit noticeable behavior changes, like rocking or becoming very still. Over time, people can learn strategies to manage these moments more safely and effectively.

The care you need, when you need it

Learn how Rula can support your mental health journey

Subscribe

I agree to receive emails from Rula and accept the terms outlined in Client Email Consent and Privacy Policy.

Is it an autistic meltdown or something else?

Autistic meltdowns are sometimes confused with panic attacks, but they have different triggers and symptoms. Panic attacks are characterized by intense fear and discomfort and physical symptoms — like rapid heartbeat or shortness of breath — often without a clear trigger. 

Autistic meltdowns are usually a response to emotional or sensory overload — a sign that the body and brain have reached a breaking point and can’t process any more input. A meltdown is also different from a tantrum. While meltdowns are an involuntary response, people may use tantrums to manipulate a situation or achieve a certain goal. 

It’s important to note that autistic meltdowns aren’t the same as meltdowns associated with other mental health conditions, like attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD). Again, the difference is that autistic meltdowns are typically triggered by overwhelming sensory input.

Identifying what’s causing the meltdown

Having a meltdown can be scary, but understanding the cause can help you learn to manage future episodes. Autistic meltdowns are typically caused by specific triggers, including:

• Sensory overload: If you feel overwhelmed by things like loud noises, bright lights, and certain smells, you’re not alone. In fact, most autistic people struggle with sensory overload. In some cases, you may feel so overstimulated that it leads to a meltdown. 
• Social situations: It’s common for autistic people to find social situations a bit stressful. You might struggle to maintain eye contact, interpret social cues, or carry conversations — all of which can make you feel anxious or uncomfortable in social settings. 
• Unmet needs: In some cases, unmet basic needs can trigger meltdowns. For example, you might be hungry, thirsty, overtired, or in pain.
• Changes to routine: Many autistic people rely on a structured and predictable routine and struggle with change. For example, taking a different route to work can cause stress, anxiety, and confusion.

Five autism-friendly strategies for calming down

It’s not always possible to prevent a meltdown, but there are ways to avoid triggers and lessen the intensity of symptoms. Here are a few considerations to help you feel safe the next time you feel a meltdown coming on.

1. Recognize your triggers. As mentioned above, most autistic meltdowns are caused by specific triggers. Once you learn to recognize your unique triggers, you may be able to manage symptoms while you’re still in the rumble stage. Consider keeping a journal or speaking with a trusted friend about what factors may lead to future meltdowns. 
2. Manage sensory input. Meltdowns are often caused by sensory overload, so find ways to manage your sensory input. If you’re somewhere with loud noises or large crowds, take a few minutes to rest and recharge in a quiet location. You can also create a sensory-friendly tool kit with sunglasses, noise-canceling headphones, and a comfort object. 
3. Remember to self-soothe. Stimming is a behavior used to cope with sensory overwhelm, manage anxiety, and remain calm in distressing situations. Some examples of stimming behaviors include humming, flapping your hands, twirling your hair, and rubbing your hands together. Some people also benefit from mindfulness and relaxation techniques, which can ground you during stressful moments.
4. Take time to recover. Meltdowns can be a total-body experience, so remember to be kind to yourself as you take time to rest and recover. Drink something warm or comforting, rest in a quiet location, or step outside for a breath of fresh air. Consider choosing a positive affirmation to help you during these difficult moments, like, “I love myself just as I am,” or, “I’m safe now.”
5. Take note of your experience. One of the best ways to prevent future meltdowns is to learn from experience. For example, you may discover that setting boundaries or clearly communicating your needs can help you avoid or manage sensory overload in certain settings. 

In addition to the above strategies, many people benefit from working with a mental health professional who understands their experience. With therapy, the goal is to develop personalized strategies to manage sensory challenges and reduce emotional distress in overwhelming situations. Your therapist might also suggest other resources, like occupational therapy or support groups to connect with others who have similar challenges.

Find care with Rula

For many autistic people, meltdowns can feel like an inevitable part of life. But, with the right coping skills and support systems in place, you can learn how to regulate your emotions, manage sensory overwhelm, and create more calm in your life. 

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.

Find a provider with Rula