The meltdowns that can come with borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition often associated with emotional regulation challenges. In some cases, your emotional reaction may be so intense that you experience something called a BPD meltdown. 

Although not a clinical term, “BPD meltdown” is sometimes used to describe episodes of extreme emotions that occur in response to a triggering situation. BPD meltdowns can be scary for you and your loved ones, but learning more about your triggers and coping methods can help you manage the frequency and severity of future episodes. 

What a BPD meltdown might look like

BPD impacts how you see yourself, others, and the world around you. When having an episode, it can feel like someone flipped a light switch. One minute, you’re happy and confident — and the next, you’re experiencing rapid and intense mood swings. You may move from anger and irritability to an overall feeling of emptiness and despair. Depending on the person, episodes can last anywhere from hours to days.

BPD meltdowns can cause a range of mental, physical, and behavioral symptoms. It’s common to cry, yell, or lash out at other people for no clear reason. You might experience negative thoughts about yourself, like, “No one likes me,” and, “Everyone would be better off without me.” You might even have physical symptoms, like chest pain, sweating, or shortness of breath.

These episodes can lead to aggression and self-destructive behaviors, like unhealthy substance use, unprotected sex, and not taking prescribed medication as directed. BPD is also associated with an increased risk of self-harm — with some research suggesting that more than half of people with BPD engage in self-harm and about three out of four have attempted suicide.

The care you need, when you need it

Learn how Rula can support your mental health journey

Subscribe

I agree to receive emails from Rula and accept the terms outlined in Client Email Consent and Privacy Policy.

Common triggers of a BPD meltdown

BPD meltdowns may seem to occur randomly, but they’re typically caused by a specific person, place, situation, or event. Some of the most common triggers of BPD meltdowns include:

• Abandonment or perceived abandonment: Fear of abandonment is a core symptom of BPD. Even seemingly mundane situations — like a partner not answering a call or a friend canceling lunch plans —  can feel emotionally overwhelming. These moments may be interpreted as signs of rejection, even if there’s a reasonable or understandable explanation, which can trigger intense emotional reactions.
• Traumatic memories: Many people with BPD have a history of childhood trauma, which can include abuse or neglect. Experiencing smells, sounds, or situations associated with past trauma may trigger a BPD meltdown.
• Stress: Stressful life events, like financial problems or losing a job, can also cause extreme emotional distress for people with BPD.
• Criticism or rejection: It’s common for people with BPD to experience self-consciousness and low-self esteem. You may misinterpret people’s comments as a threat, rejection, or personal attack.

Tips for managing BPD meltdowns

If you’re prone to BPD meltdowns, certain strategies can help you stay grounded and navigate times of emotional distress more effectively. To start, consider identifying and tracking your triggers. By recognizing these situations, you can take steps to manage or reduce their impact before your emotions become overwhelming and escalate into a meltdown.

When you feel a BPD meltdown coming on:

• Challenge your thoughts. BPD episodes often involve intense and rapid mood swings. If you feel yourself getting upset, remind yourself to pause and challenge your thoughts. It may not be easy, but taking this moment can help you gain clarity and potentially avoid a meltdown.
• Use grounding techniques. The next time you find yourself becoming angry or anxious, find a way to ground yourself in the current moment. One simple exercise is to focus on your senses: What do you see, hear, and smell?
• Look for healthy outlets. Once you understand what triggers your episodes, you can look for healthy ways to cope with those situations. For example, you might choose to listen to relaxing music, go for a walk, or work on a puzzle.
• Lean on your support network. Connect with people who make you feel good about yourself, like friends, family, or support groups. This could be as simple as sending someone a text or asking a friend to walk around the block with you. 

BPD meltdowns can have a negative impact on your relationships, sense of self, and overall happiness. If you’re having trouble coping with recurring episodes, consider seeking professional mental health support. Working with a therapist can help you manage intense emotions and ground yourself during difficult moments. 

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is one of the most common and effective treatments for BPD, with one study reporting that 77% of people with BPD no longer meet diagnostic criteria after one year of DBT. With DBT, you can develop skills like mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance — all of which can help you manage emotional outbursts. 

Another type of therapy used to manage symptoms of BPD is schema-focused therapy. With schema therapy, you’ll learn to recognize unhelpful thought patterns that may be rooted in past experiences. From there, you can start to build healthier, more supportive ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to others.

Find care with Rula

If you’re living with BPD or are dating someone with the condition, consider meeting with a mental health professional. By learning more about what causes BPD, you can begin to identify your triggers, manage mood swings, and prevent future episodes of emotional distress. 

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.

Find a provider with Rula