Childhood emotional neglect can shape your self-worth, relationships, and how you handle emotions as an adult.
Signs of emotional neglect may include feeling empty, difficulty naming your emotions, or putting others’ needs first.
Therapy can help you connect with yourself and others in healthier ways.
Childhood emotional neglect happens when parents or caregivers ignore your feelings. It can leave you feeling unseen, disconnected, or unsure of your needs. Over time, this can determine how you see yourself. Childhood emotional neglect can also impact your relationships and ability to deal with your emotions as an adult.
Many caregivers don’t mean to cause harm. They may’ve been experiencing additional challenges or never learned how to manage their emotions. But the impact on you is still very real. The hopeful news is that healing is possible. Therapy can help you learn to notice your feelings, set healthy boundaries, and build a stronger sense of self.
Signs of growing up without emotional support
Growing up without emotional support can affect how you see yourself and how you relate to others. Emotional neglect isn't always visible, but the impact can be felt in both childhood and adulthood.
Examples of emotional neglect in childhood include:
Your feelings were ignored or brushed off.
When upset, you were told to “toughen up.”
You didn’t feel safe sharing your thoughts or worries.
Parents were physically present but emotionally distant.
No one taught you how to name or manage your emotions.
Over time, these experiences can teach you to hide or doubt your feelings. In adulthood, these signs may show up as feeling empty and not knowing how to name your emotions. Since you don’t have practice naming your feelings, you may be prone to putting other people’s needs ahead of your own.
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Lasting effects of childhood emotional neglect
Childhood emotional neglect can leave lasting marks that follow a person into adult life. Because emotions shape how we connect with others and understand ourselves, being taught to ignore or hide them can have deep effects.
Some long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect may include:
Low self-esteem or constant self-doubt
Trouble forming or keeping close relationships
Feeling numb or disconnected from emotions
Mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Difficulty trusting others or setting boundaries
Overworking or staying busy to avoid your feelings
Gaps in memory or trouble remembering parts of childhood
These effects can be long-lasting because emotional neglect often teaches children to silence or bury their true feelings. As adults, certain triggers — like conflict, rejection, or being ignored — can bring up those old patterns of hurt and disconnection.
Healing the wounds of childhood emotional neglect
The effects of childhood emotional neglect can’t be erased completely, but they can be healed. Healing means learning to notice, name, and express your emotions. It also means building healthier ways to connect with yourself and others.
It’s never too late to start. Even as an adult, you can learn new ways to care for yourself and respond to your feelings. Therapy can help you uncover old patterns and practice new coping skills. A therapist might use approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you challenge negative self-beliefs or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to manage emotions. Sometimes, psychiatry can help if anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions make healing harder.
With support, guidance, and consistent practice, you can learn to feel more connected, understood, and in tune with your needs.
Childhood emotional neglect can shape how someone approaches relationships later in life. It may make it harder to trust closeness or believe their needs matter. Therapy can offer a supportive place to relearn those patterns with compassion.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Childhood emotional neglect can have lasting effects, but understanding the signs is the first step toward healing. It can be difficult to navigate the impact of childhood emotional neglect on your own, but help is available. A therapist can help you learn to notice your feelings, set healthy boundaries, and build stronger connections with yourself and others.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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