What it really means to ‘crash out’

New slang terms are constantly being created to describe our emotional experiences. One phrase that’s been gaining popularity on social media is to “crash out.” People usually use this term to describe when they’re feeling intensely emotional, to the point of feeling out of control. Merriam-Webster defines it as “becom[ing] suddenly, uncontrollably angry or distressed.”

We all crash out sometimes, but certain conditions may make you more likely to have these intense emotions. Therapy can help you learn to regulate your emotions and find healthy outlets for your feelings. 

Signs you’re on the verge of “crashing out”

Crashing out isn’t an officially recognized term, so there are no clinical signs or symptoms of it. But, generally, when we talk about crashing out, we’re referring to feeling so overwhelmed by emotions that we feel out of control. People might use the term “spiraling” to describe this experience too. 

When people say they’re crashing out, they usually mean they’re having an intense emotional experience or breakdown — not that they’re slowly becoming more stressed over time. This is different from being burned out, which is a term that’s recognized in research literature. A crash out tends to be more sudden and uncontrollable than burnout.

For example, you might suddenly crash out upon receiving upsetting news, like losing your job. But you can burn out at your job because you’ve been stressed and underappreciated for a long time.

Because crash outs can come on so suddenly, it can be hard to predict when you’re about to feel this way. But some signs that you’re crashing out include:

• You feel suddenly and intensely angry.

• You feel so intensely emotional that you feel like you can’t cope.

• You feel out of control.

• Your heart is pounding, or your breathing becomes fast and shallow.

• You’re crying uncontrollably or yelling without thinking.

• You feel like you need to escape the situation immediately.

• You act impulsively in a way you might regret later.

Why we “crash out” sometimes

We can crash out for a wide range of reasons, from superficial to serious. People use the term crashing out both to describe genuinely painful emotional experiences, as well as to exaggerate their emotional reactions to relatively “trivial” events. For example, you might crash out over a breakup or a bad grade you got on an exam. But you might also crash out over celebrity gossip.

Because the term isn’t recognized or related to any specific mental health condition, it’s OK to use it when you feel it’s appropriate.

But some conditions can make it more difficult to regulate your emotions — making you more likely to crash out more often. These conditions include:

• Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): People with ADHD can have trouble with emotional regulation. They may also experience rejection sensitive dysphoria and sensory sensitivities. So if you have ADHD, you might be more likely to crash out over things like feeling ignored by someone you care about or getting overwhelmed by noise or chaos.

• Autism: Autism is another neurodevelopmental condition, like ADHD, that can make it more difficult to manage emotions. You might crash out when routines change suddenly or when you’re overloaded by sensory input.

• Depression: If you live with depression you may be more likely to feel hopeless or overwhelmed by small setbacks. When you feel this way, it can become easier to crash out over things that might not usually upset you.

• Anxiety: Anxiety can make you crash out over stressors. For example, if you live with social anxiety disorder, then you might crash out because you felt like you didn’t “perform” well in front of others at a social event.

• Borderline personality disorder: One of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is having intense mood swings and emotions, especially when you’re feeling abandoned. So you might crash out if someone doesn’t text you back or you feel rejected by someone you love.

Crashing out sometimes — especially in reaction to a trigger — isn’t necessarily a sign that you live with one of these conditions. But if you’re also experiencing other symptoms, seeing a mental health professional could help you figure out what’s going on.

Four steps for when you’re “crashing out”

Crashing out can feel scary. But it’s important to remember that feelings are temporary, and they’ll pass with time. 

If you feel like you’re crashing out or feeling out of control, these steps can help you feel calmer:

1. Use your breath intentionally

When you’re crashing out, your nervous system is in overdrive. It feels like you’re out of control, but there are conscious ways that you can calm your body and mind. 

One way is to use your breath intentionally. When you breathe deeply and slowly — for example, with a diaphragmatic breathing technique — you can interrupt your body’s stress response and help you physically calm down.

2. Remember you’re in control

Part of what makes crash outs feel so intense is that they make you feel completely out of control. Try to remember that these emotions will pass. Emotions typically last up to 90 seconds. It’s where our thoughts go that keep them lingering.

Small steps, like grounding yourself or practicing mindfulness, can remind you that you’re safe in the present moment.

3. Talk about it

If you keep all your emotions bottled up, it might actually make you feel worse. Acknowledge that you’re having intense feelings, and talk about them with someone you trust. Tell them how you’re feeling and why. 

But even if you feel upset, avoid lashing out at others in anger. Just tell them clearly how they can support you. For example, you might say something like, “I’m crashing out, and I just need someone to listen.”

4. Try therapy 

It’s normal to crash out sometimes, regardless of the reason. But if your crash out isn’t getting easier to deal with over time — or if you think that a mental health or neurodevelopmental condition could be making you crash out more often — therapy may be essential. A therapist can help you understand your emotional triggers and learn tools to manage overwhelming feelings more effectively.

Clinician’s take

Before an emotional crash, people often miss signs like feeling detached, irritable, or suddenly unmotivated. They may keep pushing through fatigue or emotional overload instead of slowing down to recharge. Catching this ahead of time can help prevent a crash out.

Ashley Ayala, LMFT

Clinical reviewer