Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) teaches you skills to handle strong emotions and feel less emotionally overwhelmed by helping you accept your feelings and build healthy habits.
DBT explains why emotions can feel so big and gives you tools to help you feel calmer and more in control of them.
With practice and help from a therapist, DBT can help you have better relationships and feel more confident in tough situations.
Emotional vulnerability is an important part of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). DBT is all about helping people manage tough emotions. If you’ve been feeling extra sensitive or like your emotions hit harder than most, you’re not alone. DBT can provide tools to help you manage those emotions.
Being emotionally vulnerable can help you connect with others and be real about how you feel. In DBT, you’ll learn how to tell the difference between healthy vulnerability (being open and honest) and emotional reactivity (when your feelings start running the show). With practice, you can feel more at peace with your emotions and improve your relationships.
1. Learn the science behind DBT and emotions
When you feel emotionally vulnerable, your brain reacts faster and stronger than usual. This means your emotions might feel bigger or last longer than you want. Scientists have found that people who experience strong emotions often have a harder time calming down once they get upset. This happens because parts of the brain that control emotions and thinking don’t work together as well.
DBT is based on this science. It teaches skills to help your brain work better by slowing down strong feelings and making it easier to think clearly. DBT helps you notice your emotions without getting swept away by them. It also shows you how to accept your feelings while finding better ways to handle them.
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2. Know what to expect during DBT treatment
When you start DBT, your experience might look a little different from others’. Some therapists are fully trained in DBT, while others use some DBT tools alongside other therapies. When you first meet your therapist, they’ll help you figure out what kind of treatment will work best for you.
Here’s what you can expect:
First session: Your therapist will ask about your mental health history, symptoms, past treatments, and daily life. They’ll also talk about what you want to work on so they can make a plan just for you.
Individual therapy: This is one-on-one time with your therapist to talk about your feelings and practice skills that can help you manage emotions.
Group therapy: In group sessions, you learn skills with others who face similar challenges. It’s a chance to practice new tools and get support.
Your plan: Some people do both individual and group therapy, but you might do just one. Your therapist will help you decide what fits your needs.
DBT isn’t a quick fix. It’s a process that takes time and practice. Some programs last around six months, while others may go on for a year or more. The length often depends on your goals, how often you attend sessions, and whether you're doing both group and individual therapy. It’s OK to move at your own pace.
What matters most is finding a rhythm that works for you and gives you enough time to really learn and use the skills.
3. Decide if DBT is right for you
If you often feel overwhelmed by your emotions, you’re not alone — and DBT might help. DBT could be a good fit for you if you:
Have emotions that come on fast and feel very strong
Have trouble calming down when you’re upset
React in ways that you later regret
Have feelings that make it hard to maintain healthy relationships
Find it difficult to feel OK in your daily life
DBT is often recommended for people dealing with mental health conditions like borderline personality disorder (BPD), anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or intense mood swings. But even if you don’t have a diagnosis, DBT skills can support anyone who struggles with strong emotions or stress.
DBT can be especially useful if you’ve already tried other coping strategies and still feel stuck. Many people use DBT skills to build more balance, calm, and confidence in their emotional lives.
4. Use DBT skills to manage emotional vulnerability
DBT teaches skills that can help you handle big emotions and feel more balanced day to day. These are sometimes called DBT techniques for reducing emotional vulnerability. They focus on both understanding your emotions and building healthy habits that support emotional stability.
One helpful idea is the biosocial model, which explains that emotional sensitivity comes from both how your brain is wired and the environment you grew up in. This can help you understand why you might feel things so deeply — and that it’s not your fault.
To take care of your body and lower emotional vulnerability, DBT teaches something called the PLEASE skills. These small, daily habits can help you feel more emotionally steady over time. When your body is taken care of, it’s easier to manage tough emotions.
“PLEASE” stands for:
Physical illness: If you’re sick or dealing with health issues, it can affect your mood and energy. Taking care of your physical health — like going to the doctor or following a treatment plan — can help you feel more balanced.
Low eating: Skipping meals or not eating enough can make emotions feel more intense. Try to eat regular, balanced meals to keep your body fueled properly.
Avoid mood-altering substances: Drugs, alcohol, or anything else that changes how you feel can make it harder to manage emotions in a healthy way. Staying away from these substances gives your body and brain a better chance to stay calm and focused.
Sleep: Not getting enough sleep can make everything feel harder — including managing your feelings. Try to build a routine that helps you wind down and get enough rest each night.
Exercise: Moving your body, even just a little each day, can help release stress and boost your mood. You don’t need to do anything intense — even a walk or stretching can help.
You can also try ABC skills, which can help you build a stronger foundation for managing stress and emotional ups and downs. These include:
Accumulating positive emotions: Do small, enjoyable things on a regular basis, like listening to music, spending time with friends, or doing a hobby you enjoy. These moments can add up and help boost your mood over time.
Building mastery: Practice skills that make you feel confident and capable, like learning something new or finishing a task you've been putting off. These small wins can remind you that you’re making progress, even when things feel uncertain.
Coping ahead: Plan for how you’ll handle difficult situations before they happen. Thinking through what you’ll do and how you’ll respond can make challenges feel less overwhelming when they come up.
These skills may feel small at first. But with regular practice, they can help you feel more steady, prepared, and connected to your emotions — instead of overwhelmed by them.
5. Enjoy the benefits of mastering your emotions
As you keep practicing skills from DBT, you may start to feel more in control of your emotions. That doesn’t mean you’ll stop feeling things. It just means your emotions won’t take over. You’ll have tools to slow down, think clearly, and respond in ways that match your values.
Once you start using DBT skills in your daily life, you may start to notice that you:
Bounce back from strong emotions more quickly
Have fewer emotional outbursts or shutdowns
Feel more confident handling stress or conflict
Communicate your needs more clearly
Are better at setting and keeping healthy boundaries
Have relationships that feel more respectful and connected
Start to feel more proud of how you handle tough situations
These changes don’t happen overnight, but they do happen. With time, support, and patience, you can build a more balanced and fulfilling emotional life.
6. Practice self-validation to support emotional growth
One reason emotions can feel overwhelming is something called self-invalidation. This happens when you tell yourself your feelings don’t make sense or that you shouldn’t feel a certain way.
You might think things like:
“I’m being too sensitive.”
“There’s no reason to be this upset.”
“Other people have it worse, so I shouldn’t complain.”
When you think this way, it can be harder to manage emotions. This is because you’re feeling ashamed or pushing your feelings away instead of working through them.
DBT teaches self-validation — which means accepting your emotions, even if they’re uncomfortable. It sounds like:
“This is really hard, and it makes sense that I feel upset.”
“My emotions are real, even if I don’t like them.”
“I can feel this and still choose how I respond.”
Learning to validate yourself helps you build confidence, reduce shame, and move through tough feelings with more ease.
If self-validation feels hard, you’re not alone. Many people need support to change this pattern — and that’s where DBT for emotional vulnerability can really help. A mental health professional trained in DBT can guide you practice self-compassion, notice critical thoughts, and replace them with a more caring inner voice.
I always remind people that DBT skills aren’t quick fixes. Rather, they’re like muscles you build over time. Even if it feels slow or awkward, keep practicing. You don’t have to do it perfectly for it to help.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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DBT can help people manage strong emotions and feel more balanced in their daily lives. It teaches skills to understand and accept feelings so they don’t become overwhelming. With practice, it’s possible to handle emotions better and improve your relationships. If managing emotions feels hard, support from a trained therapist can make a big difference.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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