Emotional spending happens when you shop to deal with feelings like sadness, stress, or loneliness, instead of buying something you truly need.
Treating yourself occasionally is fine. It can become a cause for concern when shopping replaces healthy coping habits or starts causing financial difficulties.
Therapy can help you break this cycle by uncovering the emotions behind your spending and teaching you healthier ways to cope when life feels overwhelming.
You’ve had a long, stressful week, so you head to the mall for a little retail therapy.This kind of shopping, known as emotional spending, can boost your mood by giving your brain a quick burst of dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical. Yet once that quick rush fades, you might feel just as stressed as before. Or you might be filled with regret for spending money on something you didn’t need.
Retail therapy isn’t a problem when it happens occasionally. But if emotional spending is making you miss bill payments or fall into debt, it may be time to seek professional support. A therapist can help you take a step back and ask yourself what’s really behind your urge to shop. Understanding your emotions and finding healthier ways to cope can help you build habits that support your wallet and well-being.
Signs of emotional spending
Emotional spending often happens when you’re trying to cope with difficult feelings. If you find it hard to control your spending and it’s starting to affect your mental health or quality of life, support is available. When left unaddressed, emotional spending can develop into compulsive buying behavior, in which shopping becomes an uncontrollable urge rather than a choice.
Other signs of emotional spending include:
Purchasing items impulsively: You buy things on the spot without thinking them through, often driven by how you feel in the moment rather than what you need.
Feeling guilty afterward: Once the excitement of a new purchase wears off, you might regret spending the money or feel anxious about buying something you didn’t really need.
Using shopping as a distraction: Instead of facing difficult emotions like stress from work, conflict with a loved one, or boredom, you turn to shopping to escape those feelings.
Experiencing financial stress: Financial stress can show up in many ways, and you might not even realize how much it’s affecting you. You may feel anxious or worried about money, argue with loved ones about finances, or notice physical symptoms like headaches, sleep problems, and depression.
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Unpacking why you can’t stop buying things
It can feel difficult to manage emotional spending. Shopping triggers dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical, that gives you a quick rush of pleasure and relief. Over time, your brain starts linking spending with comfort, making it hard to resist the urge to buy when you’re feeling stressed, sad, or lonely.
Common triggers of emotional spending include:
Depression: When you feel deeply sad or lonely, it can seem like nothing is in your control. Sometimes, people with depression turn to shopping to try to reduce their sadness or to give them a small sense of personal control when life feels heavy.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): Some people with OCD feel strong urges to shop to relieve anxiety or repetitive thoughts. The act of buying can bring short-term relief but often leads to guilt or distress later.
Bipolar disorder: During manic or hypomanic episodes, people with bipolar disorder may spend impulsively, buying things they don’t need or can’t afford. This can lead to bigger financial problems later.
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): Trouble with impulse control or staying focused can make it easier to give in to sudden spending urges — especially when shopping feels exciting or rewarding.
Stress: During stressful times, shopping can feel like a quick way to unwind. It distracts you from what’s bothering you, even if it’s just temporary.
Childhood experiences: Emotional spending often starts with what you learned about money growing up. Research also shows that childhood trauma, like abuse or neglect, can lead to more impulsive spending later in life as people try to cope with painful emotions or regain a sense of control.
How to stop using shopping to soothe your emotions
Managing emotional spending doesn’t mean you can never shop again. It just means learning to stop using shopping to avoid your feelings. With awareness and small steps, you can take back control of your money and emotions.
Here are some strategies that can help:
Pause before making a purchase. The next time you turn to retail therapy to feel better, stop to ask yourself if you really need what you’re buying or if you’re trying to escape tough emotions. Taking a moment to pause can help you make a more mindful choice and avoid later regret.
Identify your triggers. Pay attention to what makes you want to shop. Do you notice the urge after a stressful day at work, an argument with a friend, or when you feel lonely? Knowing your triggers helps you to address those feelings and break the emotional spending habit.
Find healthy alternatives. Replace shopping with activities that boost your mood in positive ways. Try exercising, drawing, journaling, or practicing mindfulness. These habits can help you release stress and feel better without spending money.
Set a budget. Give yourself clear limits on how much you want to spend each month. Having a plan can help you stay in control and feel proud of your progress. You can also create space to treat yourself to small things you enjoy. This keeps you from feeling restricted while still avoiding impulse splurges.
Create memories. Choose experiences over material things. You can take a cooking class, go to a concert, or plan a weekend getaway with friends. Research shows that experiences can bring longer-lasting happiness than buying clothes or gadgets. They build memories, strengthen relationships, and give your life meaning, while shopping only offers short-term pleasure.
Seek connection. If loneliness or sadness feel overwhelming, reach out to a trusted friend or family member. Talking about how you feel can ease emotional stress and reduce the urge to shop for comfort. Support groups can also help you share your experiences, find encouragement, and learn healthier ways to cope.
Once people understand the emotions behind their spending, their relationship with money often shifts. Comfort stops being something they have to buy, and reward becomes about self-care instead of escape. They start seeing control not as restriction, but as a form of emotional stability.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Overcoming emotional spending takes time, and therapy can be a big part of that process. Approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you understand and change the thought patterns that fuel emotional spending. A therapist can also teach you healthy ways to cope with stress, build emotional awareness, and understand the deeper reasons behind your spending habits.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Linda Childers
Linda is an award-winning medical writer with experience writing for major media outlets, health companies, hospitals, and both consumer and trade print and digital outlets.
Her articles have appeared in the Washington Post, USA Today, WebMD, AARP, Brain+Life, HealthyWomen.org, The Rheumatologist, California Health Report, Everyday Health, HealthCentral, and many other media outlets.
While juggling the responsibilities of being part of the “sandwich generation” and caring for both her toddler son and terminally ill mother, a nurse friend encouraged her to seek therapy, which helped her to learn coping strategies and manage her depression. Linda hopes her work will help to destigmatize mental health conditions and encourage others to get the help they need.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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