Feeling inadequate can come from early life experiences, trauma, or untreated mental health conditions.
These feelings can affect your confidence, relationships, and self-worth — even when you achieve success.
Building self-compassion, challenging unhelpful thoughts, and getting professional help can make it easier to remember you’re “enough.”
Feeling inadequate, or like you’re “not good enough,” is one of the most painful emotional experiences. This sense of inadequacy is often tied to past trauma, low self-esteem, or a mental health condition. Especially if you’ve gone through experiences in which you were told you weren’t good enough, it’s easy to start carrying that feeling into every area of your life.
Inadequacy can become part of your identity. You might respond to this feeling by overworking to prove your worth. Or maybe you push people away before they can reject you. These responses can actually worsen the sense of inadequacy and stand in the way of achieving your goals. However, with self-compassion and support, it’s possible to replace inadequacy with confidence.
What it can be like to feel inadequate
Anyone can feel inadequate in certain situations. For example, if you're passed up for a promotion at work, you might naturally compare yourself to the person who got the job. But people with a healthy self-esteem can bounce back from these moments of inadequacy quickly. When your mental health is strong, you might be able to remind yourself that small moments of inadequacy don't define your worth.
But for some people, a sense of inadequacy lingers. This feeling might affect all areas of your life. No matter what you do, it might never seem to be “enough.”
For example, in relationships, you might feel unlovable or unworthy of your partner. This can show up as having a lack of boundaries or giving more of yourself in the relationship than you have to give. At work, you might deal with imposter syndrome. Despite working hard to get to where you are, you might feel like you don't deserve any of your accomplishments.
Other signs that you experience a chronic feeling of inadequacy include:
Always comparing yourself to others and feeling like you come up short
Feeling like you don’t deserve any of your accomplishments
Constantly apologizing or overexplaining yourself even when you’ve done nothing wrong
Feeling like any mistake means you’ve failed completely
Having trouble accepting compliments or praise
Feeling anxious when people notice your strengths or achievements
Not going after goals or things that could improve your situation
Accepting the ‘bare minimum’ from others
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Root causes of an inferiority complex
Most of us aren't born feeling like we're not good enough. But for many people, this sense of inferiority can start at a very early age. Often, the feeling of not being good enough starts in childhood. If you were consistently criticized or your needs weren't met as a child, you may have internalized the belief that you don't deserve good things. You may have had to prioritize others’ needs and learned that you come last.
A sense of inadequacy can develop in adulthood as well. You may have experienced a situation — like bullying or abuse — that made you feel “less than.” You may also be in a cycle of accepting poor behavior from others because you think it’s the best you can get, which can worsen the feelings of low self esteem and inadequacy, wearing down your confidence over time.
Some people, particularly those who identify as women, might be more likely to face imposter syndrome. This is because of the additional pressure and discrimination that women face.
A sense of inadequacy can also be linked to certain mental health conditions, like:
Social anxiety disorder (SAD): Thoughts about being inadequate are a common feature of social anxiety. For example, you might have thoughts like, “I’m unlikeable, and no one will want to spend time with me,” or, “I’m weird and different.”
Depression: A persistent feeling of worthlessness is a recognized symptom of depression. So if you live with depression, you might develop a belief that you’re fundamentally inadequate. You might start to see everything through the lens of failure.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): OCD can lead to a feeling of inadequacy in a different way. You might set unreasonable moral standards for yourself and feel like you’re never measuring up.
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): People with ADHD often live with chronic self-blame from years of being misunderstood. You might feel like you’re lazy or unreliable, even though your brain just works differently.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Trauma can leave you with an internalized sense of guilt or shame. You might feel responsible for what happened or like you’re permanently damaged because of it.
How to stop comparing yourself and start feeling like enough
We all feel inferior sometimes. But when these feelings of inadequacy become severe, research shows they can contribute to health conditions like endocrine disorders, decreased immunity, and mental health conditions like depression. It can even increase your risk of suicide*, self doubt, anxiety, and burnout.
Explore these ways you can overcome feelings of inadequacy and remember that you’re good enough as you are.
Don’t compare yourself to others
It’s easier said than done, but try to avoid comparing yourself to others. It’s a lose-lose situation — even if you come out feeling like the “winner” in these comparisons, basing your self-worth on others’ accomplishments can be risky. Try to remember that everyone is on their own path and that others’ journeys and decisions are theirs, not yours.
Recognizing where and when you fall into comparison can be helpful. Maybe you notice whenever you’re on social media, your insecurities or self doubts become highlighted. This can be a good time to put your phone down and set parameters around your social media usage.
Practice self-compassion
We’re often our own worst critics. But it’s important to introduce gentle self-talk to your internal narrative.
When you notice yourself feeling inadequate, first be mindful of the emotion and name it. You can say something like, “These feelings of inadequacy are coming up again.” Allow the feelings to be present without judging them or trying to push them away. Then, try to shift your thoughts to something kinder and affirming, like, “These feelings can come up for anyone, and I’m still worthy of care and respect.”
Practicing this reframing technique can help you catch negative thoughts related to inadequacy before they spiral out of control.
Intentionally recognize your strengths
If you already struggle with feelings of inadequacy, it may not come as naturally to you to see your own strengths. But you can make this into an intentional practice. Regularly recognize yourself for your strengths and accomplishments. For example, you might start a daily journal where you write down the things you accomplished that day, however small or seemingly insignificant.
This can remind you that you’re allowed to take up space and feel proud of your progress, even if it looks different from someone else’s.
Challenge irrational thoughts
A sense of inadequacy often comes along with irrational and unhelpful thinking patterns. For example, you might have thoughts like, “I’m never going to be good enough,” or, “They’re so much better than me in every way.” When these thoughts come up, it can make you feel even worse.
It may help to familiarize yourself with common cognitive distortions — or “thinking traps” — and recognize when you’re falling into them. Understand that these thinking patterns both come from as well as feed into a sense of inadequacy. Challenge them, and replace them with something more helpful, like, “This is my sense of inadequacy talking. I don’t need to compare myself to others.”
Get mental health support
Mental health has a two-way relationship with feelings of inadequacy. Your sense of inadequacy might be due to mental health conditions or past trauma. But feeling chronically inferior may make your mental health even worse.
Working with a therapist or psychiatrist can help you understand where your feelings of inadequacy come from and find healthier ways to relate to yourself. If you live with a mental health condition that’s contributing to feelings of inadequacy, like depression, therapy can be an effective treatment for that as well.
*The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, confidential support with trained crisis counselors. If you or a loved one is in emotional distress or a suicidal crisis, please call or text 988.
If experiencing a life-threatening emergency or you need immediate help, please call 911.
Your worth is not something you have to earn, it already exists within you. Focusing on qualities like kindness, resilience, and integrity helps you connect with a sense of value that isn’t dependent on outcomes or others’ opinions.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
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Feeling inadequate can be exhausting and make you believe that you’ll never be “good enough.” But it’s possible to break out of this negative thinking cycle with self-compassion and professional support.
A persistent sense of inadequacy may be related to an underlying mental health condition. It can also worsen your mental health. So, it’s important to get professional support. Therapy can help you rebuild your confidence and move toward a life that feels more fulfilling.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Saya Des Marais
Saya graduated with her Master in Social Work (MSW) with a concentration in mental health from the University of Southern California in 2010. She formerly worked as a therapist and motivational interviewing trainer in community clinics, public schools, mental health startups, and more.
Her writing has been featured in FORTUNE, GoodRX, PsychCentral, and dozens of mental health apps and therapy websites. Through both her clinical work and her personal OCD diagnosis, she’s learned the importance of making empathetic and accurate mental health content available online.
She lives in Portland, Oregon but you can find her almost just as often in Mexico or in her birthplace, Tokyo.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
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Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
