Untangling anxiety and grief

So many emotions may come up when you’re grieving. Many people find that they start to feel anxious after a big loss. Anxiety and grief have a direct relationship. People who are grieving are more likely to experience anxiety and panic attacks.

These feelings are absolutely normal. But the sense of unease and worry while you’re grieving can make everything feel even harder. With the right support and strategies, you can learn to cope with grief-related anxiety.

Normal ways anxiety shows up after loss

There’s no “wrong” way to feel when you’re grieving. Most people experience a mix of many emotions, like anger, sadness, relief, resentment, and more. Anxiety can also show up during this process. It’s totally valid to feel anxious and even fearful when you’ve experienced a loss, whether it’s related to death or another big life change. 

Explore these ways anxiety might show up after a loss.

• During a breakup or a divorce, you might have anxiety about dating or financial security. You worry that you’ll end up alone, make a mistake, or worry how the kids will respond. 

• You get laid off from a job you loved, and you’re anxious about paying the bills. You’re unsure what next steps to take in your career or fear another layoff in the future. 

• After witnessing someone die, you might suddenly start thinking a lot about your own mortality and the afterlife. You might be anxious about where your loved one is after their death. 

While these thoughts and feelings might not indicate an underlying anxiety disorder, they can still disrupt your life. For instance, you might find that it’s harder to sleep or do your job. Getting support from a qualified mental health provider could help. 

When to seek help with anxiety and grief

Sometimes, anxiety after grief may develop into an anxiety disorder. There’s no timeline to grief. But if your anxiety is debilitating, hard to manage, worrisome, and it doesn’t seem to be lessening over time, then you could benefit from professional support.

Research shows that anxiety disorders may be common among people who experience complicated grief. For example, over a third of people with complicated grief have panic attacks. This doesn’t mean that this type of grief is “bad” — you might just need extra support. 

Consider reaching out to a mental health provider after grief if:

• Your anxiety is so severe that it’s getting in the way of your day-to-day life.

• Your anxiety is getting worse, not better, with time.

• You’re experiencing panic attacks.

• You can’t sleep because of racing thoughts or fears.

• You’re avoiding people, places, or activities you once valued because of anxiety.

• You’re using alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb the anxiety.

• You have intrusive thoughts that feel uncontrollable.

• You feel overwhelmed most days and can’t find relief on your own.

Even if your anxiety isn’t severe, you may benefit from therapy. Working with a therapist can help anyone come to terms with loss and process it in a way that feels meaningful.

How to manage grief-induced anxiety

If you’re experiencing anxiety after a loss, it can make grief feel even worse. Here are some ways to cope.

Get grounded

Many research-backed techniques can calm anxiety and feel more grounded. For example, you might practice a mindfulness strategy for anxiety, or use gentle movements to reconnect with your body. 

Problem solve

If it’s something specific that’s causing you anxiety — like financial worry — it can help to brainstorm solutions. Think of what’s within your control. What steps can you take to ease the pressure? For instance, you might ask for support from your loved ones. 

Join a grief support group

A support group can connect you with other people who’ve also experienced loss. They may be able to understand your grief-related anxiety in a deeper way. Support groups aren’t therapy, but they can provide validation, reduce isolation, and give you new ways to cope.

Try therapy and/or medication

If you’ve developed an anxiety disorder due to grief, it may be necessary to get treatment. Both therapy and medication can be effective for anxiety disorders, including panic attacks. A therapist can help you learn coping skills, process your grief in a safe space, and guide you toward long-term healing.

Clinician's take

A subtle way grief and anxiety often overlap is through restlessness. You may feel unable to sit still, constantly needing to clean, scroll, or stay busy, and may ‘not want to think about it’ rather than realizing it’s anxiety driving avoidance.

Ashley Ayala, LMFT

Clinical reviewer

Find care with Rula

Anxiety and grief are deeply connected, and it’s natural to experience both after a loss. If the anxiety becomes overwhelming, you can learn to manage it with the right support. Seeing a therapist can help you move through this difficult time and find peace in your life again.

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.