Grief and depression can look and feel similar. But grief is a natural response to loss, and depression is a mental health condition.
Grief can be a risk factor for developing depression.
A therapist can help you manage these painful emotions, whether they’re a result of grief, depression, or both.
The differences between grief vs. depression can be subtle. But they’re distinct experiences that need to be addressed in different ways.
Grief is a natural human response to loss. Some researchers even say that it’s one of the few emotions that are essential for human survival. Depression, on the other hand, is a mental health condition that requires treatment. They’re different but can happen at the same time — and working with a therapist can help you navigate both.
Telling the difference between grief and depression
Grief and depression are different. Grief is a natural human experience that almost everyone goes through at some point, while depression is a mental health condition that typically requires treatment.
Grief comes on a spectrum. Sometimes, grief might feel so intense and painful that it can feel similar to depression. For example, you might feel exhausted and lethargic while you’re grieving. You might feel sad or low and cry frequently. Grief can be so intensely painful that it affects your daily functioning, just like depression.
The only way to know for sure if you’re experiencing depression is to talk to a mental health professional. But some of the key differences between grief vs. depression include:
Waves of emotion
When you’re grieving, you might get hit with waves of emotion when you face grief triggers. For example, you might feel sadder than usual during the holidays or when you hear a certain song that reminds you of someone you lost.
Depression can fluctuate, but it doesn’t tend to come and go. And to be diagnosed with depression, you must have experienced symptoms nearly every day for at least two weeks.
Clear reason
When you’re grieving, your feelings of sadness are typically centered around the loss. There’s a clear reason for your pain. You might still feel good about other aspects of your life. For example, you might feel devastated that you’ve lost a pet and find comfort in spending time with your partner.
Depression tends to be all-consuming. It affects every area of life, including work, home, and relationships. You’re not just sad about one particular loss, but it’s rather a constant undercurrent of sadness in daily experiences. Depression might seem like it has no “real” reason at all.
Time-related healing
Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and it doesn’t necessarily “go away.” But most people find that it gets less intense over time. You might still often think of your loved one but experience less yearning or intense sadness as the years go by.
Depression doesn’t get less intense with the mere passage of time. When it’s left untreated, depression can actually worsen over time.
Effect on self-esteem
Grief is mostly about the pain of losing someone or something important. But sometimes, it can also affect how you feel about yourself — especially if the loss makes you question your worth. For example, losing a job or going through a breakup might leave you feeling not good enough.
With depression, low self-esteem is more common. You might feel hopeless, think you're a failure, or talk to yourself in unkind ways, even when nothing specific has happened.
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Can grief turn into depression with time?
Sometimes, grief — especially when it’s complex or traumatic — can be a risk factor for depression. That doesn’t mean that grief “turns into” or directly causes depression. But stressful life events, like grief and loss, can be one factor that increases your risk for developing depression.
The experience of grieving could also make you act in ways that make you even more vulnerable to developing depression. For example, you might be grieving your relationship so intensely that you withdraw from all your other social relationships. You stop exercising, and you can’t sleep. You may use alcohol or other substances to try to cope with the painful emotions that come up during grief.
All these behaviors can be risk factors for depression.
There’s no timeline to grief. You may grieve for months or even years. But just because your grief has lasted a long time doesn’t necessarily mean you have depression. Long-term grief might be a sign of prolonged grief disorder. But the difference between grief and depression is more complex than just how long they last.
It’s possible to experience depression and grief at the same time. If you already live with depression, and you experience a loss, grief could make depression symptoms even worse.
Healthy ways to manage depression after loss
If you live with both depression and grief — whether you’ve developed depression in connection with the loss or if you lived with depression before — it’s possible to feel more whole and function better on a day-to-day basis.
Healthy ways to manage grief alongside depression can include:
Acknowledging your pain
Try to acknowledge your feelings, regardless of where they’re coming from. Ignoring your emotions might only make them stronger. You don’t need to hyperfocus on them. Just allow them to be present.
Normalizing grief
Even if you have depression, you can still grieve if you’ve experienced a loss. Try to avoid seeing every emotional experience you have as a symptom of depression. Remind yourself that grief is normal and a human experience that we all go through. This can help prevent you from pathologizing your grieving experience.
Meeting your basic needs
It can be easy to let self-care fall by the wayside when you’re grieving, especially if you also live with depression. But try to make sure that, at minimum, your basic physical and emotional needs are met. For instance:
Try to sleep seven to nine hours each night.
Practice basic hygiene like brushing your hair or taking a shower.
Feed yourself nourishing meals.
Get some sunlight every day.
These small steps can make a big difference when you’re navigating grief and depression.
Talking to a therapist
Working with a therapist has many benefits, whether you’re going through grief, depression, or a combination of both. Therapists can give you a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings. They can provide new perspectives and help you understand your internal experiences on a deeper level.
If you live with depression, working with a mental health provider like a therapist or psychiatrist can help you manage your symptoms. The best treatments for depression are therapy, medication, or both. Treatment could also include building a plan for how to cope when you face another loss in your life.
One thing I often tell people is this: Grief usually comes in waves. You might feel OK one moment and overwhelmed the next, especially around reminders of your loss. Depression, on the other hand, tends to feel more like a heavy cloud that doesn’t lift, no matter the situation.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Depression and grief aren’t mutually exclusive, and dealing with both can be confusing and painful. Working with a therapist can help you normalize and navigate grief. Therapists can also offer necessary treatment for depression so it doesn’t get in the way of a fulfilling life.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Saya Des Marais
Saya graduated with her Master in Social Work (MSW) with a concentration in mental health from the University of Southern California in 2010. She formerly worked as a therapist and motivational interviewing trainer in community clinics, public schools, mental health startups, and more.
Her writing has been featured in FORTUNE, GoodRX, PsychCentral, and dozens of mental health apps and therapy websites. Through both her clinical work and her personal OCD diagnosis, she’s learned the importance of making empathetic and accurate mental health content available online.
She lives in Portland, Oregon but you can find her almost just as often in Mexico or in her birthplace, Tokyo.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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