Stress is common among parents. Research shows that 41% of parents say they often feel so stressed that they can’t function.
The start of a new school year often brings added stress. Common worries include school safety, bullying, and adjusting to new routines.
Stress-management techniques and reaching out for support can help with these worries. If you aren’t sure where to start, a therapist can help.
The new school year can be an exciting time for both students and parents. Yet, in many cases, it also comes with back-to-school stress as families adjust to new routines and expectations.
If your child has a physical or mental health condition, going back to school can feel even more challenging. You might worry about whether teachers will understand your child’s needs or if classmates will treat them with kindness.
Parents can ease some of this stress by creating predictable routines at home and keeping communication open. Talking with friends, other parents, or a therapist for support can make your concerns feel more manageable.
How back-to-school stress affects parents
Juggling new schedules, busy days, and the cost of school supplies can quickly add to a parent’s stress. When you mix in lack of sleep and the challenges of raising kids at different ages, life can start to feel overwhelming.
Examples of back-to-school stressors include:
Bullying
Maybe your son used to enjoy school, but now he avoids talking about it. Since he’s been bullied before, you worry classmates might be teasing him or leaving him out. Not knowing how to protect him can leave you feeling anxious. Remind your child they can share anything with you without fear of judgment and help him feel confident speaking up. You can say something like, “If anything comes up and you need someone to talk it through, I’m always here. I’m happy to be a listener or even help you find ways to handle it yourself.”
Children who need extra support
Your daughter has autism and experiences difficulty with changes in routine. You worry her new teacher won’t understand her sensory needs or that classmates won’t be kind. You also fear she’ll be overwhelmed and isolated. Try working closely with her teacher to share strategies that help her feel supported and included.
School violence
News reports about shootings and other violence can leave you on edge. You may worry whether your child is safe at school. Learning about your school’s safety plan and talking with other parents can bring some reassurance.
Parental guilt
Many parents feel guilty when they can’t make it to every school event. When possible, try to tag team events with your partner, a friend, or family member. Then, your child can still feel supported even if you can’t always be there. Expressing interest in your child and their activities can also help reduce some guilt. This can look like helping your child prepare for the event and making sure to check-in with your child about how it went. You can even look at pictures or videos from the event with them and reflect your enthusiasm. Even if you weren’t physically there, being there in spirit can often feel like the next best thing.
Social media pressures
You worry your teen daughter is comparing herself to unrealistic images online. Try talking with her openly about how social media isn’t always real life. Remind her of her strengths and unique qualities, and encourage healthy online habits. Suggest taking breaks from screens, following positive accounts, and spending more time offline doing activities that build confidence. If it’s starting to impact her more, consider having a no social media rule. There’s a strong link between social media and self-esteem that can impact teen mental health.
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What makes back-to-school so hard for parents?
The back-to-school season can cause stress for different reasons. You might feel anxious remembering your own school experiences. Or you might worry your child will have challenges in a particular subject. On top of that, juggling schedules and after-school activities can add to the pressure.
Reasons parents may feel stressed include:
Painful childhood memories: If you were bullied or had challenges with homework, your fears for your child may be tied to those difficult memories. Tools like the Adverse Childhood Experience Questionnaire can give you insights into how the past still affects you today.
Anxiety: Worrying about your child’s safety or school performance can spill over into daily routines. Kids are quick to pick up on your stress, which can increase their own.
Chronic worrying: If you get stuck in “what-if” thoughts or picture worst-case outcomes, it can help to build healthy habits and seek therapy to break the cycle.
Perfectionism: Parents who pressure themselves to do everything “right” often experience higher rates of burnout. Try to avoid “should” statements, like, “I should be at every soccer game,” when your schedule makes that impossible.
Financial stress: The average family spends over $850 on back-to-school items. Worries about money can cause arguments, headaches, sleep problems, and depression.
Comparisons: It’s easy to look at other families and feel “less than.” Maybe you wonder how their child made honor roll or how they can afford tutors and vacations. Constant comparisons can harm your confidence and increase stress.
How parents can manage anxiety about the new school year
Starting a new school year can be tough, but it can also be a chance for growth for both you and your child.
Here are some ways to manage stress:
Focus on what you can control. Instead of worrying about “what ifs,” put your energy into things you can influence, like creating a consistent morning routine. Having a plan can ease anxiety for both you and your child.
Practice stress relief. Regular exercise, meditation, yoga, and deep-breathing exercises can all reduce anxiety. Just 10 minutes of walking or sitting in nature can lower stress levels.
Save money where you can. If your child needs a laptop or tablet, consider buying refurbished rather than new, or renting a musical instrument instead of buying. You can also check local groups online for calculators, backpacks, and other supplies that families no longer use.
Talk to teachers. Share your concerns with your child’s teacher in a supportive way, like, “I notice Matthew feels stressed by homework. What are your thoughts on ways we can help him?” Working together can help reduce some of the pressure.
Stay connected. Talk with friends, other parents, or join a support group. Sharing your worries can help you feel less alone.
Limit news and updates. Too much scrolling — often called doomscrolling — can fuel anxiety and disrupt sleep.
Seek professional help. If stress, anxiety, or worry feel constant, consider talking with a therapist. Approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can teach you healthy coping strategies and help you feel more balanced.
Children are incredibly attuned to their parents’ emotions. When they sense calm, flexibility, and reassurance, it often helps them approach school with more confidence and ease. Even small moments of modeling balance — like taking a breath before a busy morning or choosing connection over perfection — can set the tone for a smoother transition into the new year.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
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If the new school year has you feeling stressed or anxious, therapy can give you tools to handle tough feelings and offer support that makes challenges easier to manage. A therapist can help you build coping strategies, put worries into perspective, and find healthy ways to balance the demands of parenting and everyday life.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
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Linda Childers
Linda is an award-winning medical writer with experience writing for major media outlets, health companies, hospitals, and both consumer and trade print and digital outlets.
Her articles have appeared in the Washington Post, USA Today, WebMD, AARP, Brain+Life, HealthyWomen.org, The Rheumatologist, California Health Report, Everyday Health, HealthCentral, and many other media outlets.
While juggling the responsibilities of being part of the “sandwich generation” and caring for both her toddler son and terminally ill mother, a nurse friend encouraged her to seek therapy, which helped her to learn coping strategies and manage her depression. Linda hopes her work will help to destigmatize mental health conditions and encourage others to get the help they need.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
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