If you’re experiencing worry or anxiety about losing your pet before they’ve passed away, it’s referred to as anticipatory grief.
Anticipatory grief might be more likely to happen if your pet is an important source of companionship or you rely on them for mental health support.
Spending quality time together, focusing on the present, and making end-of-life preparations can help you cope with anticipatory grief. But if you need additional support, talking to a therapist can help.
Anticipatory grief is grief that happens before a loss occurs. You can mourn people and pets before they die, and this can make the grieving process last much longer. There’s limited research [1] on anticipatory grief for companion animals. However, evidence suggests that it’s relatively common [2] — especially among people who have a deep bond with their pets.
Anticipating a loss can be adaptive in some scenarios. For example, it may help you prepare for the inevitable and feel less blindsided by loss. But in the long term, anticipatory grief can take a toll on your mental health and prevent you from enjoying the time you have left with your furry companion.
One of the most difficult things about loving a pet is knowing that they won’t be with you forever. You may not be able to avoid anticipatory grief completely, and that’s OK. But learning to manage it can allow you to have more mental and emotional energy to focus on your four-legged friend while they’re still with you.
What it’s like to know you’ll lose your pet
Knowing that you’ll someday lose your pet can bring up difficult emotions. You might cycle through fear, anxiety, dread, and denial. These are normal responses to the thought of losing someone or something you love.
If your pet is ill or experiencing an age-related decline, you may know that your time with them is limited. And if you’ve ever lost a furry friend before, you’re likely very aware of just how painful the loss will be. In these scenarios, some anticipatory grief can be constructive [2] and helpful.
For example, knowing that your pet’s time is coming to an end can give you a chance to make arrangements and feel more prepared to cope with their death. You can use this time to make thoughtful decisions around end-of-life care and how you want to spend your final days together.
On the other hand, severe anticipatory grief can be a form of catastrophizing. Focusing on the worst-case scenario can negatively impact your mental health and your relationship with your pet. Of course, pets can pass away unexpectedly. But feeling chronically anxious about their future death can detract from the joy your pet brings you in the present.
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Why you might grieve a pet before they die
You might begin to grieve a pet before they die for many reasons. For example:
If your pet is a key source of companionship and you don’t have a strong support system, you might start to worry about being alone long before your pet passes away.
About 86% of pet owners [3] say their animals have a positive impact on their mental health. So, if you have a mental health condition, you might be concerned about the loss of your pet impacting your well-being.
If your pet is very ill or aging, you may begin thinking about euthanasia. Facing the reality that this step is coming can understandably bring about anticipatory grief.
As your pet begins to slow down with age, they will likely be unable to do certain things, like climbing the stairs or going for long walks. Noticing these changes can be painful because they may remind you that your time with your pet is limited.
How to cope with anticipatory pet grief
While we can’t prevent pet loss, there are things we can do to manage anticipatory grief and make the most of your pet’s life.
Spend quality time together. If your pet is aging or in poor health, try to embrace moments of positivity, no matter how brief they may seem. You might not be able to go for vigorous hikes or chase each other around the living room anymore. But maybe you can sit together for some head scratches or a quiet cuddle on the floor.
Stay grounded in the present. If your pet is generally healthy or in the prime of their life (and it seems like they have a long life ahead of them), don’t let anticipatory grief take away from your time together. When you notice anxious thoughts taking hold, try repeating a mantra, like, “My pet is safe and healthy right now.” Then, do something fun together, like going for a walk, playing with a favorite toy, or doing some training.
Make a plan. For some people, doing some end-of-life planning can help reduce anticipatory grief. If you’re ruminating about your pet’s death, think about how you may want to honor their life after they’ve passed. Plan a funeral or memorial, reach out to your vet to discuss how you can make their final days more comfortable, or connect with your support network.
Ask for help. If you feel overwhelmed by anticipatory grief, know that you’re not alone and help is available. Everyone grieves in their own way. But a therapist who specializes in grief and loss can help you navigate this experience. Therapy can provide a safe space to process your worries about losing your pet so that you can be fully present with them while they’re alive.
Caregiver burden can intensify grief by adding chronic exhaustion, hypervigilance, and a sense of constant responsibility to the bond with your pet. When someone is depleted, grief often turns into guilt — especially around wishing the struggle would end — because the nervous system is overwhelmed rather than because love or commitment is lacking.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
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Most people think of grieving as something that occurs after a loss. But with anticipatory grief, the process begins before a person or pet passes away. Anticipatory grief can take a toll on your mental health and detract from the time you still have with your pet.
If worries about your pet’s future death are impacting your well-being, don’t hesitate to ask for help. A therapist can help you process grief and manage uncomfortable emotions so you can enjoy the time with your pet while they’re still here.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
References
- Beyond disenfranchized grief: Survey and interview accounts of animal loss through and beyond COVID-19 in the United Kingdom https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07481187.2025.2557716#abstract
- Animal ethical mourning: types of loss and grief in relation to non-human animals https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12066695/#sec22
- Americans Note Overwhelming Positive Mental Health Impact of Their Pets in New Poll; Dogs and Cats Equally Beneficial https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/news-releases/positive-mental-health-impact-of-pets
Liz Talago
Liz Talago, M.ed. is a mental health professional turned content writer and strategist based in the Detroit metro area. As an independent consultant for mental health organizations, Liz creates meaningful connections between brands and their audiences through strategic storytelling. Liz is known for championing diverse perspectives within the mental health industry and translating bold ideas into inspiring, affirming digital experiences.
In her free time, you can find her hiking with her two German Shepherds, puttering around her dahlia garden, or spending time with her family.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
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