People on the asexual spectrum feel little or no sexual attraction.
People who are asexual might not want sex, engage in sex, have sexual fantasies, or have romantic feelings.
Our free quiz can help you figure out if and where you land on the asexual spectrum.
Sex is often emphasized as a powerful way that partners bond with each other, express love, and deepen trust. If you feel little or no sexual attraction toward others, you may feel concerned about your ability to deepen your romantic relationship(s). If this sounds like you, you might be asexual, or “ace.”
Some asexual people experience romantic feelings [1] toward others, and some don’t. Asexuality doesn’t mean that asexual people never have sex [2] or don’t have sexual fantasies [3]. For example, you might engage in sex sometimes but only once you’ve established an emotional connection.
But even if you know you’re asexual, you could have more questions, as asexuality exists on a spectrum. Our free asexuality spectrum test is a good starting place to help you reflect on your sexual attraction.
The care you need, when you need it
Learn how Rula can support your mental health journey
Take the asexual spectrum quiz
Answer the following questions as honestly as possible. It can help to tap into your feelings by reflecting on your past romantic or sexual experiences and feelings (or lack thereof). There are no right or wrong answers — only what feels right to you. Consider taking the quiz in a place you feel comfortable with limited or no distractions.
1. How often do you feel sexual attraction toward others?
A. I feel sexual attraction frequently.
B. I feel it occasionally, but the situation has to be just right.
C. I rarely experience sexual attraction.
D. I’ve never felt this.
E. I'm not sure.
2. What does romantic attraction feel like for you?
A. I often develop a deep emotional pull towards someone.
B. I have romantic feelings only after first building an emotional bond.
C. I rarely feel this.
D. I’ve never felt this.
E. I'm not sure.
3. What do you think about sex in a relationship?
A. It’s important to me.
B. I’m open to it, but it often comes secondary.
C. I would do it for my partner, but I don’t have a desire myself.
D. I have very little interest in sex.
E. I wouldn’t engage in sex under any circumstances.
4. How do you feel about physical affection?
A. I really enjoy hugging, cuddling, and kissing.
B. I enjoy it if there’s a close connection with the other person.
C. I’d do it for my partner, but I don’t need it myself.
D. I prefer not to engage in physical affection.
E. I avoid it and am uncomfortable with it.
5. How would you describe your sexuality?
A. I regularly feel sexual attraction.
B. I feel sexual attraction after forming a deep emotional bond.
C. I feel sexual attraction only in certain situations, which are rare.
D. I don’t feel any sexual attraction.
E. I'm not sure.
6. How would you feel in a relationship without sex?
A. That wouldn’t work for me.
B. It could work, but I’d be worried about my partner’s feelings toward me.
C. It would be fine.
D. That’s how I’d prefer it.
E. I'm not sure.
7. How do you respond when someone shows sexual attraction toward you?
A. I feel excited.
B. I’m open to it but want to get to know them first.
C. I feel OK but a bit unsure.
D. I feel very uncomfortable.
E. I avoid these situations or haven’t experienced it yet.
8. How do you tend to connect with romantic partners?
A. I connect with partners through physical intimacy.
B. I connect with partners through emotional friendship and then physical intimacy.
C. I connect through platonic friendship and only engage in physical intimacy if my partner needs it.
D. I connect through social connection only.
E. I’m not sure because I avoid relationships.
Scoring:
Mostly A = You may experience sexual attraction more frequently than other aces and align with allosexualism.
Mostly B = You may align with demisexuality, which is a type of asexuality in which you’re open to sexual connection only after forming a close emotional bond.
Mostly C = You may align with gray-asexuality, which is where attraction occurs only under certain circumstances. Friendships are more common than romance.
Mostly D = You may align with typical asexuality, feeling little to no sexual attraction.
Mostly E = You may be questioning or still exploring yourself. Take your time, and don’t worry about a label.
Quiz content written by Lolly Coleman, MS, LMFT.
Next steps for exploring the asexual spectrum
A quiz can’t tell you who you are, but it can provide more insight into your experiences. Your quiz results might also positively influence how you feel about your asexuality and inform how you move forward.
If your answers were mostly A, you might feel relief. If you feel more sexual attraction than other aces, you might feel out of place on the asexuality spectrum. But knowing that you can exist outside of the standard definition of asexuality may feel validating or empowering.
If your answers were mostly B, you might decide to tell potential romantic partners that you won’t pursue sex until there’s emotional intimacy. This can help you set boundaries in a relationship and establish limits for yourself.
If you responded with mostly C, this quiz might shed light on why sexual attraction comes up for you only in specific situations or with specific people. Reflecting further can help you realize what personality characteristics or scenarios lead you to feel sexual attraction.
If your answers were mostly D, the quiz can clarify or confirm that you most likely fall under the traditional meaning of asexuality.
If you responded with mostly E, you may feel confused, but this means you may still be getting to know yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that. It may help to read more about asexuality or consider seeing a therapist to help guide you through your journey of self-discovery.
For all results, talking with a qualified mental health provider can offer more clarity and support. Even if you’re clear on your sexuality, you might not know how to communicate what you want or process past relationships. A therapist can help you explore these feelings in a safe and nonjudgmental way.
Attraction isn’t just about sex. It can include wanting closeness, affection, or a romantic connection. This perspective shift often helps people appreciate that relationships can be fulfilling in many ways and intimacy can be multidimensional.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
Find care with Rula
There’s more to asexuality than meets the eye. Like other sexual orientations, there are gray areas. You may feel no sexual attraction, some in certain situations, and anything in between. But you don’t have to navigate your feelings alone.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
References
- Ace and Aro: Understanding Differences in Romantic Attractions Among Persons Identifying as Asexual https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32095971/
- Sexual Desire and Fantasies in the LGBT+ Community: a Focus on Bisexuals, Transgender, and Other Shades of the Rainbow https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11930-020-00262-8
- Sexual fantasy and masturbation among asexual individuals https://utppublishing.com/doi/10.3138/cjhs.2409
Siobhan Neela-Stock
Siobhan Neela-Stock is a writer and journalist who focuses on health, particularly mental health. She earned her master's in journalism from Northwestern University in 2018 and worked at Mashable for over two years where she focused on social good reporting.
Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, SELF, Fortune, Verywell Health, among other publications. Neela-Stock also teaches writing and journalism at several universities.
She enjoys traveling, dancing, playing dodgeball, and spending time with her loved ones.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
Rula’s editorial process
Rula’s editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
