Feeling lonely during pregnancy is more common than you might think. About one-third of parents say they’re often or always lonely.
Loneliness during pregnancy may be due to an underlying mental health concern like perinatal depression. Sometimes, it’s just the result of shifting identities, stigma, or a lack of understanding.
Connecting with other expecting parents, opening up and naming your feelings, and making time for yourself can help you feel less alone during pregnancy.
Pregnancy can be an exciting time. But it can also be emotionally complex. Many people experience loneliness in the months leading up to the birth of their baby. About one-third of new parents report feeling lonely [1] often or always. This happens when a person doesn’t have the amount or type of connections they crave.
You can be surrounded by people but still feel lonely. Without adequate support, it can be harder to care for yourself and your child. There’s also evidence that perinatal loneliness [2] can increase the risk of mental health concerns or make existing concerns worse.
Fortunately, you can prevent isolation during pregnancy in a number of ways. Learning more about this topic can help ensure that you or an expecting person you care about has the support they need during this important life stage.
Signs of loneliness during pregnancy
Everyone experiences loneliness differently.
But here are some signs that it might be affecting you during pregnancy:
When you get news about your pregnancy, you feel like you don’t have anyone you can share it with.
You might be surrounded by friends, family, coworkers, and others, but you still feel isolated.
You’ve started turning down social invitations because it feels like you don’t “fit in” anymore.
You’re having trouble with sleep, appetite, or concentration.
You don’t feel like the people around you understand you.
When you need help, you hesitate to ask for it.
You feel sad or disappointed because you thought you’d have more support.
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Why pregnancy can feel so lonely
If you’re pregnant and feeling isolated, it may help to know that this happens to other expecting parents, too.
This might happen because of:
A shifting identity: During pregnancy, you might notice changing priorities or even your identity [1]. You might not feel like the same person you were before your pregnancy. This might make it harder to connect with people you used to relate to.
Feeling misunderstood. Everyone’s pregnancy experience is unique. You might feel like people don’t understand you or your perspective during this life stage [3]. As a result, you might be more hesitant to reach out to others.
Fearing stigma: While pregnancy is associated with many positive emotions, it can also come with fear, anxiety, stress, and more. You might feel like you can’t talk about these complex emotions with loved ones due to stigma [3] or a fear of being judged.
The mental health effects of feeling lonely during pregnancy
Research [1] shows that loneliness is linked to depression, social withdrawal, and economic costs in parents. But it can also increase the child’s risk of mental, physical, and social problems later in life.
Having moments of loneliness during pregnancy doesn’t mean that you have a mental health condition. But if it’s severe and ongoing, it could be cause for concern. In some cases, loneliness can be a sign of a condition like perinatal depression, which may require professional help to overcome.
What you can do about perinatal loneliness
Feeling lonely during pregnancy is common. The good news is that you can take some steps to feel more supported during this time of your life.
Consider these suggestions:
Honor your feelings. Remember, all feelings are valid, even uncomfortable ones like loneliness. Naming your feelings — either out loud, in a journal, or to someone you trust — can provide a sense of release.
Connect with other expecting parents. Whether you join an online group or a meet-up in your community, it can help to connect with people who understand what you’re going through.
Lean on your existing support system. It’s possible that your friends and loved ones aren’t aware that you need some extra support right now. So it might help to reach out and let them know how you’re feeling. You can say something like, “I could really use some company. Do you have some time to talk this week?”
Make time for yourself. You might be understandably focused on your pregnancy right now. But it’s important to take good care of yourself too. If you don’t have a strong support system, practicing self-care and maintaining your hobbies can help you stay connected to your identity.
Talk to a professional. In some cases, loneliness in pregnancy can be a sign of an underlying mental health concern. So if your loneliness is impacting your functioning and it’s not getting better, don’t hesitate to seek help. A mental health professional can provide an evaluation and create a personalized, pregnancy-safe treatment plan based on your needs.
One factor I often see is the quiet shift in identity and relationships. Pregnancy can change routines, roles, and social circles. Many people feel left out or misunderstood but don’t say it out loud. They may worry about seeming ungrateful, but naming the loneliness can help open the door to real support.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Pregnancy is often portrayed as an exciting, happy time. But in reality, it can come with more complex emotions, including loneliness. You might feel disconnected, misunderstood, or like your entire identity is undergoing a transformation. Loneliness doesn’t automatically mean you have a mental health condition, but for some people, it might be a sign of perinatal depression or another concern. If your loneliness isn’t improving, it might be helpful to talk with a therapist about what you’re experiencing.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
References
- Loneliness in Pregnancy and Parenthood: Impacts, Outcomes, and Costs https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10964817/
- Solutions to perinatal loneliness https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/media/filer_public/64/a5/64a5f6a1-6bd8-4e49-a2e4-b2ef50d267c0/solutions_to_perinatal_loneliness.pdf
- Loneliness in pregnant and postpartum people and parents of children aged 5 years or younger: a scoping review https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9451126/
Liz Talago
Liz Talago, M.ed. is a mental health professional turned content writer and strategist based in the Detroit metro area. As an independent consultant for mental health organizations, Liz creates meaningful connections between brands and their audiences through strategic storytelling. Liz is known for championing diverse perspectives within the mental health industry and translating bold ideas into inspiring, affirming digital experiences.
In her free time, you can find her hiking with her two German Shepherds, puttering around her dahlia garden, or spending time with her family.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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