Microaggressions are small — sometimes barely noticeable — insults or slights. They’re usually aimed at people with marginalized identities.
Over time, microaggressions can increase the risk of burnout, stress, depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns.
Working with a culturally responsive therapist can help protect your mental health from the impact of microaggressions.
Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling uneasy but were unsure why? The person you were speaking with didn’t say anything shocking or provocative. They didn’t raise their voice or exhibit aggressive body language. And yet, you still had a sense that you’d been insulted.
Or perhaps someone made a joke about a part of your appearance or identity. But when you didn’t find it funny, you were told that you were being “too sensitive.” If any of this sounds familiar, you may have experienced a microaggression.
Microaggressions [1] are subtle slights, invalidations, or insults that are often directed at people with marginalized identities. You might have a marginalized identity if you belong to a group that has experienced discrimination — often related to sex, gender, race, religion, or ethnicity. Microaggressions might be unintentional, but they can have a damaging effect on a person’s mental health and self-esteem [2].
Learning more about microaggressions can help you identify where they might be showing up in your life and take steps to protect yourself.
Recognizing microaggression
Understandably, some people get confused between passive aggression and microaggression. But they’re different in some key ways. Passive aggressive comments are typically made on purpose. They’re designed to communicate hostility while avoiding conflict. Giving the silent treatment is a common example of passive aggression.
Microaggressions, on the other hand, aren’t usually intentional. They’re an unconscious expression of internalized bias or prejudice against minorities, women, immigrants, differently abled people, LGBTQIA+ people, and other marginalized groups. Microaggressions come in a few different categories [3], including:
Microassaults: These types of microaggressions are often the easiest to detect because they’re physical. For example, an employee follows a BIPOC customer around a retail store. They assume that the person might steal something based on the color of their skin.
Microinsults: These are discriminatory messages that target specific groups. Sometimes they might sound like a compliment, but they’re actually deeply insulting. For example, a teacher tells a Black student that she is “so articulate.” What they’re really conveying, though, is the racist expectation that someone “like her” shouldn’t speak so well.
Microinvalidations: These microaggressions serve to undermine someone’s lived experience and invalidate their suffering. For example, maybe your father-in-law believes he can make sexist jokes because he mistakenly thinks gendered inequality no longer exists.
One of the challenges in combating microaggressions is that they aren’t always obvious — especially if you haven’t been on the receiving end of one. But you can increase your awareness by paying close attention to patterns and focusing on who is repeatedly targeted and how they respond.
People might also brush microaggressions off or invalidate your experience. If you were to express discomfort that you were being followed in a store by an employee due to the color of your skin, they may deny it. This lack of validation when people minimize your lived experience can directly impact your worldview and sense of self.
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Why microaggressions are so harmful
Microaggressions are harmful to both individuals and society at large.
Research shows that microaggressions can:
Increase the risk of depression, anxiety, and stress [4]
Harm self-esteem [5] and reduce one’s sense of belonging [6]
Lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and disengagement [7]
Reinforce harmful stereotypes [8] and damaging biases
How to respond to microaggression
You should only respond to a microaggression if it feels safe to do so.
However, if you decide to address it, the following tips can help [9] you have a productive conversation:
Raise the issue. “Hey, can we talk about what you just said? It made me uncomfortable and I want to understand your intention.”
Seek clarification. “Could you explain what you meant by that?”
Offer some empathy. “Maybe you were trying to make a joke…”
Highlight intent vs. impact. “I know you probably didn’t mean to be hurtful. But that really rubbed me the wrong way.”
Challenge stereotypes. “You may not have been exposed to people from different backgrounds. But think about how that comment might land for folks who have different life experiences than you.”
Appeal to their values. “I know you as a person who likes to make other people smile and feel included. What I just heard from you doesn’t really mesh with that.”
Offer a resource. “If you’re interested, I know of this great book that I really helped shift my perspective. I’d love to share it with you and talk about it, if you’re open to that.”
In a perfect world, everyone would be receptive to conversations about the impact of microaggressions. But unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. If someone responds negatively, won’t accept that their comments are harmful, or tells you that you’re too sensitive, it’s OK to end the conversation.
You’re not obligated to teach anyone why their behaviors were wrong or hurtful. For many, navigating microaggressions can be a lifelong challenge — having to explain yourself over and over again can deplete your energy and impact your mental health. You can decide when putting the extra effort in to explain is worth it.
Whether it’s focusing on self-care, connecting with allies, or raising the issue to leadership (if you’re in a work or school environment), you deserve to protect your peace.
Protecting your mental health from microaggressions
Imagine your house has a leaky gutter that allows moisture into the home’s foundation every time it rains. Even without a flood or major storm it can still cause significant damage to your home over time. Just like fixing that gutter to protect your home, you can take steps to protect yourself from the damaging impact of microaggressions, like:
Label the experience — either in the moment or afterward — as a microaggression. This can prevent you from invalidating yourself or wondering if it’s “all in your head.” This can look something like, “I didn't like how that felt. It landed very harmful”.
Avoid attempts to numb or minimize the emotional discomfort you experienced. Prevention, education, and empathy — not developing a “thicker skin”— are the solutions to microaggressions. You can reassure yourself by thinking, “I want to give them the benefit of the doubt but this was hurtful”.
Remember that it’s OK to choose your battles. You don’t have to address every microaggression you witness or experience.
Consider unfollowing any social media accounts that feature offensive content. Try to follow accounts that make you feel good about yourself.
When possible, avoid people who consistently demonstrate an unwillingness to be more inclusive. At the same time, strengthen your support network.
If needed, talk to a culturally responsive therapist. They can help you process and name your experiences and heal from the built-up harm of microaggressions.
Overly explaining yourself and trying to teach the aggressor where they went wrong can lead to burnout. There’s a difference in mutually trying to repair versus becoming their teacher in hopes they change.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
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Microaggressions happen when a person says or does something that demonstrates bias or prejudice against someone with a marginalized identity.
While they’re not always conscious or intentional, microaggressions can damage a person’s self-esteem, sense of belonging, mental health, and overall well-being. Setting boundaries, naming your experiences, connecting with allies, and working with a therapist can help you protect your mental health from the impact of microaggressions.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
References
- Microaggressions: What They Are, And How They Are Associated With Adjustment Outcomes https://www.apa.org/pubs/highlights/spotlight/issue-133
- The Adverse Impact of Racial Microaggressions on College Students’ Self-Esteem https://muse.jhu.edu/pub/1/article/550917/summary
- A Guide to Responding to Microaggressions https://wie.grainger.illinois.edu/current-students/additional-resources/guide-to-microaggressions
- Microaggressions and Psychological Health among College Students: A Moderated Mediation Model of Rumination and Social Structure Beliefs https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7722011/?utm
- Interpreting Microaggression as a Determinant of Wellbeing https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10482806/?utm_source=chatgpt.com#Sec16
- Racial Microaggressions and Sense of Belonging at a Historically White University https://www.researchgate.net/publication/334162279_Racial_Microaggressions_and_Sense_of_Belonging_at_a_Historically_White_University
- Workplace micro-aggressions and affective consequences: the moderating role of emotional contagion https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-025-07740-z?utm_
- The What, the Why, and the How: A Review of Racial Microaggressions Research in Psychology https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4762607/
- Responding to Microaggressions and Unconscious Bias https://www.nationalequityproject.org/responding-to-microaggressions-and-unconscious-bias?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=10389950117&gbraid=0AAAAAC0BhUDaZYvUtFzrkgJk9qMhB_A04&gclid=CjwKCAiA1obMBhAbEiwAsUBbIumxx8k2N86KcBNcpgeFfQuBE6EguOkOPbAp1_GlMcm3Fta875WsjhoC03gQAvD_BwE
Liz Talago
Liz Talago, M.ed. is a mental health professional turned content writer and strategist based in the Detroit metro area. As an independent consultant for mental health organizations, Liz creates meaningful connections between brands and their audiences through strategic storytelling. Liz is known for championing diverse perspectives within the mental health industry and translating bold ideas into inspiring, affirming digital experiences.
In her free time, you can find her hiking with her two German Shepherds, puttering around her dahlia garden, or spending time with her family.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
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