Words of affirmation are kind, supportive, or appreciative statements that express love. In a relationship, they can help your partner feel valued and cared for.
Different people have different needs, so it’s important to be on the same page about how often you expect words of affirmation.
Couples counseling can help if you and your partner are caught in a cycle of arguments about how you express your love for each other.
There are many ways to show someone you love and care about them. Some people might give hugs, while others might stay in close touch. Words of affirmation are a way to show love that involves using kind, encouraging, or appreciative words to express your feelings — like saying, “I’m proud of you,” or “I appreciate everything you do.”
Using words of affirmation in your relationships can help your loved ones feel valued and supported. Everyone has different needs for verbal expressions of love. But sharing heartfelt words can be a powerful way to build closeness and strengthen your connection.
Examples of words of affirmation
Words of affirmation are meaningful statements that show love, appreciation, and support. They go beyond praising achievements and instead affirm who someone is and what you value about them.
They can be simple or deeply personal. What matters most is that they feel genuine to the person hearing them.
Examples of words of affirmation include:
“Thank you for always being so thoughtful.”
“I love the way you make me laugh.”
“You’ve been working so hard, and I really appreciate it.”
“I love you.”
“You’re so kind to everyone around you.”
“I’m grateful to you for loving me as I am.”
“I love how you go after your dreams.”
“I’m always here for you.”
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Why words of affirmation are important
Words of affirmation come more naturally to some people than others. But even if it feels a little awkward to verbally express your love and appreciation, it can be important to do so.
Words of affirmation can be one way to help your partner (or other people you have important relationships with) feel more appreciated. And research shows that when people feel more appreciated on a daily basis, it improves their overall well-being.
Words of affirmation can also be an important way to maintain positive communication in your relationship. So often, we get lost in the day-to-day struggles and annoyances of life. Prioritizing words of affirmation can make sure that you’re communicating about the positive things as well.
Overall, words of affirmation can make relationships stronger. In one study, verbally expressing gratitude to friends helped people feel like the friendship was stronger.
But it’s also important to note that some people may express their love and affection in different ways. Just because somebody doesn’t offer you words of affirmation doesn’t mean that they don’t love and appreciate you. This may have to do with their cultural background or their attachment style. In some cultures, people may even feel embarrassed about receiving words of affirmation. It’s important to express love in ways that feel meaningful both for you and the person on the other end.
Tips for using words of affirmation in your relationship
There are many cultural and personal reasons why it might feel hard to express love with words. If this is something you have difficulty with, these tips can help you build comfort and confidence over time:
Talk with your partner about their needs. Ask how they feel about words of affirmation. Knowing it’s meaningful to them can make it easier to open up — even if it feels vulnerable at first.
Set small specific goals. Start simple, like telling your partner one thing you appreciate about them twice a week. With practice, these moments will start to feel more natural.
Use your preferred communication style. If speaking feels uncomfortable at first, try writing a love note, sending a heartfelt text, or leaving a kind message where they’ll find it.
Seek support if needed. If differences in how you express love are causing tension, couples counseling can help you communicate better and find ways to show affection that feel meaningful for both of you.
I have seen words of affirmation change the tone of a relationship. Being intentional about affirming your partner can bring about a more positive view of each other and allow you to focus on the love between you.
Elise Miller, MA, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Words of affirmation can be a powerful way to help your partner feel loved and appreciated. It’s important for you and your partner to be on the same page about how you express your love so that you both feel happy and satisfied. If you’re having a hard time coming to an agreement, couples counseling can help.
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Saya Des Marais
Saya graduated with her Master in Social Work (MSW) with a concentration in mental health from the University of Southern California in 2010. She formerly worked as a therapist and motivational interviewing trainer in community clinics, public schools, mental health startups, and more.
Her writing has been featured in FORTUNE, GoodRX, PsychCentral, and dozens of mental health apps and therapy websites. Through both her clinical work and her personal OCD diagnosis, she’s learned the importance of making empathetic and accurate mental health content available online.
She lives in Portland, Oregon but you can find her almost just as often in Mexico or in her birthplace, Tokyo.
Elise Miller, MA, LPC
Elise received her Masters in Professional Counseling from Liberty University and went on to become a Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor in Texas and Colorado. She has served in many facets of the mental health field including inpatient psychiatric hospitals, intensive outpatient programs, hospice, and mental health tech. She is currently working as an outpatient therapist in private practice.
Elise is also a mom of three little ones and brings this experience into her counseling work with fellow moms. Elise’s work comes from a place of deep compassion and lived experience along with her extensive training and specialization.
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