Growing up with a bipolar parent can affect your mental well-being.
Bipolar disorder can be difficult to understand. Learning more about the symptoms and risk factors may help you process how it impacts you and your family.
If you're struggling to cope with a bipolar parent, know that help is available. Talk therapy, social support, and self-care can make a meaningful difference.
Parent-child relationships can be complicated — especially when the parent has a mental health condition like bipolar disorder. You care about your parent, but you might also have a hard time understanding their choices and behaviors. Over time, having a bipolar parent can even start to affect your confidence, relationships, and overall well-being.
If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. Therapy is a chance to understand how and why your relationship with your parent has affected your life today. It can also help you learn how to set boundaries and goals that prioritize your mental health.
What it’s like to live with a bipolar parent
Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme moods that can range from manic or hypomanic highs to depressive lows. When you have a bipolar parent, these episodes can have a significant impact on your family’s daily life.
During a manic episode, people can feel energized, elated, or irritated for extended periods of time. Your parent might make impulsive decisions, engage in risky behaviors, and make promises they can’t always keep.
On the flip side, depressive episodes are characterized by low energy, difficulty sleeping, and trouble with focus and concentration. Your parent may struggle to get out of bed, go to work, or practice basic hygiene. They may act checked out or even make claims like, “I’m a bad parent. You deserve someone better.”
With access to resources and support, it’s possible for people with bipolar disorder to maintain a stable and well-balanced household. However, several factors can make living with a bipolar parent feel particularly challenging. For example, if your parent:
Is unmedicated or not following their treatment plan
Doesn’t have a partner or strong support system
Has co-occurring health concerns
Has a history of self-harm or suicidal ideation*
*If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts or thoughts about harming themself or others, please call or text 988 on any phone for the Suicide & Crisis lifeline, contact a local crisis line, or head to the emergency room immediately. Any of these resources will ensure that the person in crisis receives support right away. For more information on getting help, go to 988lifeline.org
If experiencing a life-threatening emergency or you need immediate help, please call 911.
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Emotional effects of growing up with a bipolar parent
Early caregiver relationships are often the foundation for who you are and how you connect with others. Growing up with inconsistent care or unpredictable moods can impact how you foster other connections throughout life. As an adult, this may mean that you have trouble with trust, intimacy, and regulating your emotions.
For some people, growing up with a bipolar parent is associated with emotional trauma or abuse. As a result, this may increase your risk of mental health challenges like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Having a bipolar parent is also linked to depression, anxiety, and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder [1] (ADHD). However, you may be less likely to experience these challenges if your parent feels socially supported [2].
Other potential consequences of growing up with a bipolar parent include:
Blaming yourself for your parent’s condition
Parentification, meaning a reversal between you and your parent
Frequent feelings of shame, guilt, and confusion
Trouble asking other people for help
Common questions from children of parents with bipolar disorder
Bipolar disorder is often misunderstood. Educating yourself can help you understand your parent’s experience and how you can protect your well-being.
Explore these questions about bipolar disorder — you might have wondered them yourself at one time or another.
Did I cause their bipolar disorder?
The short answer is no. The average age of onset for bipolar disorder is around age 25 [3]. Your parents may have been diagnosed or showing symptoms before you were born.
While the exact cause of bipolar disorder is unknown, several potential risk factors [4] include:
Genetics
History of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)
Using substances like cannabis, cocaine, or stimulants
Having a traumatic brain injury (TBI)
Will I develop bipolar disorder?
Experts believe that bipolar disorder runs in families. This means you’re more likely to develop bipolar disorder if you have a parent or close family member with the condition. If you notice symptoms in yourself, it can help to talk with a mental health professional for a proper evaluation.
With the right support, many people learn to manage bipolar disorder, achieve their goals, and live full lives.
Will my mom or dad get better?
While there’s no cure for bipolar, there are tools to help your parent manage their symptoms and improve their functioning. This often includes a combination of medication management, talk therapy, social support, and lifestyle modifications. Many people with bipolar disorder live rich and fulfilled lives. Their mental health condition doesn’t have to define them.
Coping as an adult child of a bipolar parent
There’s no right or wrong way to feel about having a parent with a mental health condition like bipolar disorder. You might be frustrated at how it’s impacted your life, while worrying about what it means for your family’s future.
These strategies can help you process your feelings, cope with challenges, and create space for you:
Create clear boundaries. Boundaries are a chance to set personal limits that prioritize your happiness and well-being. While it may seem difficult at first, boundaries may even strengthen your relationship with your parent.
Prioritize your own needs. Regular self-care can help manage stress, reduce anxiety, and increase resilience. Whether it’s something like morning journaling or a cup of warm tea at night, make time for yourself each day.
Be kind to yourself. Remember that you didn't cause your parent's condition, nor can you cure it. Instead of feeling frustrated or guilty, take a moment to show yourself kindness and self-compassion.
Find your support network. Having a bipolar parent isn’t always easy, so remember to lean on your support network when times get tough. You might also consider joining a bipolar support group where you can connect with people who share a similar experience.
Consider therapy. Therapy offers a safe, judgment-free space to learn more about yourself. With the support of a therapist, you can explore behavior patterns, coping methods, and future goals.
Adult children of a bipolar parent might experience hypervigilance in relationships. They often feel responsible for other people’s moods. They may over-explain, people please, or try to prevent conflict before it happens. With support, many clients learn to feel safer in relationships and stop carrying emotional weight that was never theirs.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Growing up with a bipolar parent can be challenging — especially when their condition is unmanaged or undiagnosed. This experience can take an emotional toll, but it doesn’t have to define you. Talk therapy and self-care are an opportunity to invest in your own mental health and well-being.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
References
- Lifetime psychopathology among the offspring of Bipolar I parents https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3109366/#sec12
- The perceived social support of parents having bipolar disorder impacts their children’s mental health: a 10-year longitudinal study https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11283441/
- Bipolar Disorder https://www.nami.org/types-of-conditions/bipolar-disorder/#:~:text=The%20average%20age%2Dof%2Donset,live%20well%20with%20the%20condition.
- The role of environmental exposures as risk factors for bipolar disorder: A systematic review of longitudinal studies https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032715309939
Alex Bachert
Alex Bachert is a freelance copywriter and mental health advocate. Since earning her masters degree in public health, she has focused her career on creating informative content that empowers people to prioritize their health and well-being. Alex has partnered with organizations like Ro, WellTheory, and Firsthand, and her work has been recognized by the Digital Health Association.
When she’s not writing about mental health, Alex is usually playing pickleball, meeting with her local board of health, or enjoying time with her three kids.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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