Key Takeaways
The decision to move in with your partner can have a major impact on your future. It’s OK to take some time to reflect on the pros and cons of cohabitation.
If you’re unsure if you’re ready to move in together, the following quiz can reveal some important insights.
For some people, therapy can provide some extra support during this decision.
Many people maintain lasting, loving relationships while living separately. Cohabitation isn’t a goal or possibility for every relationship, and that’s OK. But if you and your partner are considering moving in together, it’s important that you both feel prepared to take that step.
Each couple’s timeline and situation is different. But if you’re having trouble gauging whether you’re ready to combine households, the following quiz can help. You can take it on your own to help you explore your thoughts and feelings about your relationship. Or, you can both take it and compare results to uncover areas where you may or may not be aligned.
How to use this quiz: This quiz is meant to deepen your self-awareness and spark meaningful conversations with your partner. But it’s not intended to replace professional help. If you need additional support, individual and/or couples therapy can be a great option.
Is it time to move in together? Take this quiz
As you prepare to take this quiz, remember that there are no right or wrong answers. Just answer each question in a way that feels most true. Give yourself plenty of time, and choose a quiet, private space where you won’t be interrupted. If you both decide to take the quiz separately, you may want to decide ahead of time when you’ll sit down to discuss your results.
Do you feel like you can be your true self with your partner(s)?
a. Yes!
b. No, I feel like I have to hide aspects of myself.
c. I’m gradually opening up.
Have you had a conflict and worked through it respectfully?
a. Yes!
b. No, conflicts are stressful and don’t seem to get resolved.
c. We’re working on our conflict resolution skills.
Do you see a future with your partner(s)?
a. Yes!
b. No.
c. Possibly.
Does your partner(s) respect your personal space and belongings?
a. Yes!
b. Not really.
c. I'm not sure yet.
Does your partner support you spending time with friends/family?
a. Yes!
b. No.
c. I'm not sure yet.
Are you familiar with each other’s quirks and living habits without criticizing them?
a. Yes!
b. No, we often annoy each other.
c. We’re still getting to know each other’s quirks.
Do you agree on long-term goals, like whether to get married or have children?
a. Yes!
b. No, we definitely aren’t aligned.
c. We haven’t had these discussions yet.
Would you say that you have similar life values?
a. Yes!
b. No.
c. I'm not sure yet.
Have you discussed how you might split chores, bills, and other responsibilities?
a. Yes!
b. No.
c. Not yet.
Do you trust one another?
a. Yes!
b. No, there’s not a lot of trust in our relationship.
c. We’re gradually building trust.
Do you feel cared for when you’re sick or upset?
a. Yes!
b. No.
c. I'm not sure yet.
Do you support one another when someone is stressed and trust that you'll be there for each other through life’s ups and downs?
a. Yes!
b. No.
c. I'm not sure yet.
Quiz content written by Lolly Coleman, MS, LMFT.
What your quiz results say about your relationship
This quiz is informed by research on partners who decide to live together. It was created with help from mental health professionals who work with couples. While it isn’t intended to be diagnostic or prescriptive, here’s how you can interpret your results:
If you answered …
Keep in mind that this quiz is meant to inspire self-reflection, informed decision-making, and meaningful dialogue. But no online quiz can make this choice for you. If you don’t agree with your results, that’s OK. What matters most is that your relationship decisions align with your priorities, goals, and values.
What to think about before sharing a home together
From how you’ll share household responsibilities to whether you’ll combine finances, you and your partner need to consider many factors before deciding to share a home. Some things to think about as you make this major decision include:
Why does it feel important to consider moving in together right now? What’s driving your desire to cohabitate? It’s OK to have a combination of practical and emotional motivators.
Are you thinking of sharing a home because it feels like the “logical next step”? Because you sincerely want to? Or a bit of both?
Are you worried about what other people might think about your relationship if you decide to maintain separate homes? If so, is that affecting your decision?
Do you have any concerns about your partner that you’re worried may escalate in the future? Whether they seem like small issues or potential red flags, they’re worth thinking about.
Do you have similar preferences for home organization and cleanliness? If not, how will you bridge the divide?
What are the expectations around financial contributions? How will you make shared decisions about household expenses?
Do you like to host guests? Or do you prefer to make your home your private sanctuary? Does your partner feel the same way?
How might the way you handle conflict change once you’re under the same roof? What if someone needs some space?
How will you balance alone time and togetherness once you’re in the same household? Do you need more quiet time than your partner or vice versa?
As you reflect on these questions, remember that only you know what’s best for you and your relationship. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t ask for help when making a potentially life-altering decision. For some people, therapy can provide a helpful outlet to explore the pros and cons of cohabitation and feel more confident in their choice.
Clinician's take
When a couples’ future goals and reasons for taking that step align, they may be ready to move in together. Both partners see it as a shared choice that supports their long-term vision. Talking openly about what living together means and how it fits into their relationship goals shows readiness for the transition.
Find care with Rula
If you’re at the stage of life when you’re considering moving in with your partner, you might be wondering if you're truly ready. There’s no exact way to tell if now is the right time to live together. But this quiz can help you better understand yourself and your relationship.
If you need support as you navigate this big decision, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Individual and/or couples therapy can help you make a decision that works best for your relationship.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 21,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
