How do you know if a child has emotional trauma?

It’s not always easy to recognize signs of emotional trauma in children and teens. Many don’t have the words to explain what they’ve experienced or how they feel inside, so their pain can often appear as anger, mood swings, or shutting down. These behaviors can easily be mistaken for the normal highs and lows that come with growing up.

Younger kids might start having nightmares or wet the bed, while teens may struggle in school or pull away from friends and family. These behaviors might look like mood swings or learning challenges, but they’re often signs of emotional pain. Without support, emotional trauma can affect how they think, trust others, and cope with stress later in life.

In some cases, trauma like bullying can happen when parents aren’t there to see it — whether it’s at school or online. This can make it easy to miss the signs that something’s wrong. Learning how to recognize these signs and getting support from a trauma-informed therapist can help a child feel safe and begin to recover. 

Take the emotional trauma quiz for kids

The following quiz was created by a mental health professional for parents and caregivers who are concerned their child’s feelings and behaviors may be linked to emotional trauma. It can help you understand whether it’s likely, possible, or unlikely that your child is showing signs of emotional trauma. 

While this quiz isn’t a medical diagnosis, your results can be a useful first step in talking with a trauma-informed therapist about how to best support your child.

1. Does your child seem overly anxious, or often “on edge,” as if they are waiting for something bad to happen?

   • Yes

   • Sometimes

   • No

2. Has your child’s personality changed somewhat suddenly?

   • Yes

   • Sometimes

   • No

3. Does your child complain frequently about headaches or stomachaches, with no clear physical cause?

   • Yes

   • Sometimes

   • No

4. Does your child say they don’t want to go to familiar places they once enjoyed, like school or sports practices?

   • Yes

   • Sometimes

   • No

5. Has your child suddenly developed sleep problems?

   • Yes

   • Sometimes

   • No

6. Has your child started regressing in certain areas such as bed-wetting or baby talk?

   • Yes

   • Sometimes

   • No

7. Is your child unusually clingy or scared to be alone?

   • Yes

   • Sometimes

   • No

8. Does your child have big reactions to seemingly small or harmless situations?

   • Yes

   • Sometimes

   • No

9. Have teachers or other caregivers noticed a shift in your child’s behavior and mood?

   • Yes

   • Sometimes

   • No

10. Does your child become tearful out of the blue, for no clear reason?

    • Yes

    • Sometimes

    • No

11. Does your child appear ‘shut down’ or has started to share less with you?

    • Yes

    • Sometimes

    • No

12. Has your child started acting more mature than their age?

    • Yes

    • Sometimes

    • No

13. Has it become increasingly difficult for your child to focus or remember things?

    • Yes

    • Sometimes

    • No

14. Do you have a nagging feeling that you’ve started to “lose” your child, but can’t pinpoint why?

    • Yes

    • Sometimes

    • No

Scoring:

• Mostly yes: Your child may be experiencing an emotional response to trauma. You’re not alone in this, and help is available. Reaching out to a trauma-informed therapist can support both you and your child in understanding and managing these feelings.

• Mostly sometimes: Your child may be experiencing some ups and downs. It's worth monitoring and talking to them about what’s going on. Open conversations and gentle reassurance can make a big difference.

• Mostly no: Your child likely hasn’t experienced emotional trauma. Even so, staying connected and keeping open communication helps build trust and resilience if challenges arise in the future.

Quiz content written by Lolly Coleman, MS, LMFT.

Signs of emotional trauma

Emotional trauma can show up in different ways, including with anger, fear, or even perfectionism. No two children react the same to trauma. While some begin to heal with love and support, others may carry their pain longer, developing long-term symptoms or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that can interfere with friendships, school, and everyday life.

Some common signs of emotional trauma include:

• Frequent sadness, anxiety, or fear: These feelings can occur when a child keeps reliving painful memories of the trauma. 

• Sudden mood swings or irritability: A child may go from sad to angry in seconds. Because their nervous system is on high alert, small stresses can trigger big emotional reactions.

• Feeling numb or shutting down: Your child may isolate or avoid friends or become unusually quiet or withdrawn.

• Acting out, being aggressive, or getting into fights: Rather than shutting down emotional trauma, some kids act out or become aggressive. They may not be able to put their feelings into words, so they might talk back, be disrespectful, yell, or throw objects.

• Trouble paying attention in school: Children who experience emotional trauma may have trouble focusing in class. Their mind may be replaying past events or worrying about what might go wrong next. This can make concentration and learning much harder.

• Sleeping problems: Your child may have trouble falling asleep, wake up during the night, or have nightmares.

Next steps for supporting a child with emotional trauma

In many families, both children and parents are impacted by trauma. Support from trauma-informed providers, along with a focus on safety, consistency, and connection, can help caregivers and children begin the process of recovery together.

Parents and caregivers can support their child in a variety of ways, like:

• Listening without judgment: Let your child share their feelings at their own pace. Show empathy and remind them it’s OK to talk about what happened when they’re ready and that their feelings are real and valid.

• Rebuilding safety and routine: Predictable routines, like regular meals, homework time, and bedtime, can help children feel grounded and secure.

• Connecting their child to professional help: A trauma-informed therapist can help children and teens process what happened and learn healthy ways to cope. Therapy approaches that may help include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and exposure therapy.

Clinician’s take

One early sign of trauma is a sudden change in how a child reacts to everyday situations. For example, they might become unusually fearful, withdrawn, or quick to anger over things that never bothered them before. These reactions often reflect a child’s effort to feel safe or in control after something frightening or overwhelming.

Brandy Chalmers, LPC

Clinical reviewer