Key Takeaways
- Emotional trauma is a strong emotional response to a distressing event. It can leave someone feeling helpless or unable to cope and have a long-lasting impact on their mental and emotional health.
- Emotional trauma can stem from events like a car accident, sexual assault, or a natural disaster. It can also result from ongoing stressors like abuse, military combat, bullying, and living with a life-threatening illness.
- Family and friends can help someone heal from emotional trauma by creating a supportive environment, listening with empathy, promoting self-care, and gently encouraging therapy when needed.
Seeing someone you care about struggle after a traumatic event can be heartbreaking. You want to be there for them, but it can be hard to know how to help someone with emotional trauma. The trauma can even show up in your relationship, impacting communication and trust.
You can build a healthy bond with someone you care about, even if they’re still dealing with the impact of emotional trauma. Sometimes the best way to support someone who’s been through emotional trauma is just by being there. Listening, showing up, and offering steady encouragement can make a big difference.
Consider these other ways to support someone with emotional trauma.
1. Create a safe space
Trauma survivors need spaces where they feel supported and comfortable. For example, after experiencing violence at school, a child needs to feel protected, heard, and believed.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, mentor, or friend, you can help create a calm and predictable environment when you’re with them. Let them know it’s OK to feel scared, angry, or confused. Reassure them by saying, “You’re safe with me,” and, “I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready.” Avoid pressuring them to talk. Just being patient, present, and consistent, can help rebuild their sense of trust and security.
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2. Increase your understanding of trauma
Trauma is more common than many people realize. Approximately 70% of adults in the U.S. have experienced at least one traumatic event in their lives. Learning about the different types of emotional trauma can help you better understand what your loved one is going through and how to support them in a thoughtful, informed way.
3. Listen with empathy, not judgment
When someone has experienced trauma, your presence and willingness to listen can help them feel safe and supported.
For example, if a friend says, “Ever since the crash, I haven’t felt like myself. I just feel numb and on edge,” you might respond with, “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m here for you and glad you’re telling me. Do you want to share more about what’s been going on?” This kind of response shows you recognize their pain, aren’t trying to fix it, and are offering space for them to share if they feel ready.
4. Stay consistent
Regular check-ins, small gestures, and being present can make a big difference. Consistency helps rebuild trust and creates a sense of safety — especially after trauma.
If a coworker lost their home in a natural disaster, you might offer practical help by saying, “Can I help you make calls, find supplies, or keep you company?” Keep the connection going with simple messages like, “Just checking in to say I’m thinking of you. No pressure to respond — just know I’m here if you need anything.”
5. Encourage healthy coping
When someone experiences trauma, they may turn to unhelpful coping mechanisms like drugs or alcohol to numb emotional pain or escape memories.
By encouraging healthy coping strategies like trauma-informed mindfulness, they can learn to calm their mind and body, making it easier to handle stress and heal from trauma. These practices also boost self-acceptance and strengthen self-compassion.
6. Respect their healing process
Some people aren’t ready to talk about their trauma right away, and that’s OK. They might fear reliving the pain or worry about being judged. It’s common for people with PTSD to withdraw and seek solitude as a coping strategy.
If your loved one experienced sudden job loss and doesn’t want to talk, the best thing you can do is stay patient, respectful, and present. You might say, “I can see this is really weighing on you. You don’t have to go through this alone, and I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.” This shows empathy, honors their boundaries, and lets them know they aren’t alone.
7. Take care of yourself
Trauma doesn’t only affect the person who experiences it. Family and friends often feel the impact too — especially when they’re trying to provide support.
This can lead to indirect exposure trauma (IET), which may trigger emotional stress. That’s why practicing self-care is important. Managing your emotional, physical, and social needs helps you stay grounded and better able to support the person you care about.
8. Pause before responding
Even when you mean well, some comments can unintentionally hurt. Avoid toxic positivity like saying, “Everything happens for a reason,” or, “It’s been so long. Maybe it’s time to move on.” These responses can make someone feel dismissed rather than supported.
Trauma is often misunderstood, especially by people who haven’t lived through it. Saying, “Just get over it,” isn’t helpful and can come across as impatient and unsupportive.
9. Encourage professional help
Sometimes, people need more support than family and friends can provide. If trauma is making it hard for someone you care about to function or maintain relationships, trauma-informed therapy can help. A therapist can offer healthy coping mechanisms for the symptoms of emotional trauma, like anger, depression, anxiety, negative thoughts, or pulling away from others.
10. Manage your expectations
Everyone responds differently to emotional trauma. What feels traumatic to one person might not affect someone else the same way.
Recovery also looks different for each person — and it isn’t always linear. Being impatient or expecting a loved one’s healing process to look a certain way can do more harm than good. Keep your expectations in check, while respecting their boundaries and unique journey toward recovery.
Trauma can make the world feel unpredictable and unsafe. Patience and consistency help rebuild trust by showing the person that they won’t be rushed, judged, or abandoned. Even small, steady acts of care can become powerful reminders that healing is possible.
Find care with Rula
Coping with emotional trauma takes time, and healing looks different for everyone. Sometimes people need therapy to heal in ways that friends and family can’t provide. Working with a trauma-informed therapist can offer a safe space to talk, process painful experiences, and build healthy coping skills.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
About the author
Linda Childers
Linda is an award-winning medical writer with experience writing for major media outlets, health companies, hospitals, and both consumer and trade print and digital outlets.
Her articles have appeared in the Washington Post, USA Today, WebMD, AARP, Brain+Life, HealthyWomen.org, The Rheumatologist, California Health Report, Everyday Health, HealthCentral, and many other media outlets.
While juggling the responsibilities of being part of the “sandwich generation” and caring for both her toddler son and terminally ill mother, a nurse friend encouraged her to seek therapy, which helped her to learn coping strategies and manage her depression. Linda hopes her work will help to destigmatize mental health conditions and encourage others to get the help they need.
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Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
