Always irritated with everyone? It could signal something deeper

If irritability is impacting your life and relationships, therapy can help.

Published on: December 6, 2024
Last updated: February 20, 2025
A man and woman are sitting on a couch together. The man looks to be upset. The photo shows a living room with plants and stacks of books throughout. The image is framed in orange.
Key Takeaways
  • Occasional irritability is a normal human emotion. But when it’s chronic or long-lasting, it can damage your relationships and other areas of your life.

  • There are many everyday causes of irritability. Many mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety, can also lead to chronic irritability.

  • Irritability has been linked to increased risk of suicide, so it’s important to address it whether you live with a mental health condition or not.

Irritability is a common emotion that affects everyone. You might feel irritable due to everyday frustrating experiences like traffic or not getting enough sleep. When you’re irritable, you may be more likely to get frustrated or snap at someone over things that wouldn’t ordinarily make you angry.

Although irritability is a normal emotion, it can negatively affect your life if you don’t address it. Further, chronic irritability can sometimes signal an underlying mental health condition.

What’s causing your irritability?

Being irritable isn’t necessarily a sign of a mental health condition. We all feel irritable sometimes, and some common causes might be:

Irritation can also come up as a secondary emotion alongside anger. For example, if you feel angry at someone because of their behavior, you may also feel more irritated with them as a secondary emotion.

Dig deeper:

Is feeling irritable a sign of a mental health condition?

If you find you’re feeling irritable almost every day or that your irritability is affecting your day-to-day life or relationships, it could be a sign that something deeper is going on.

Irritability is a common sign of many different mental health conditions. Although irritability alone isn’t enough for a diagnosis, it’s important to make note of it. Sometimes, irritability can overshadow other more subtle symptoms.

Some mental health conditions that can cause irritability include:

  • Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD): DMDD is a childhood mental health condition characterized by chronic irritability and outbursts of anger.

  • Depression: Depressive disorders like major depressive disorder are often linked to irritability — especially in children and teens.

  • Substance use disorder: Irritability can be an effect of using certain substances in large quantities over time or as a direct symptom of withdrawal from a substance.

  • Bipolar disorder: Both depressive and manic mood episodes in bipolar disorder can come along with irritability and agitation.

  • Anxiety: Research has found a direct link between anxiety disorders and irritability, and irritability is listed as a recognized symptom of anxiety.

Additionally, some research suggests that not only is irritability a feature of many different mental health conditions, but it’s also a unique psychiatric feature in and of itself.

People who experience chronic irritability show differences in brain structure and activation. Research also finds that irritability, like many other mental health symptoms, could be heritable. So, if you have a parent who is prone to irritability, you might be too.

Dig deeper:

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Tips for calming down when you’re irritated

Irritation is a natural emotion. But if you’re feeling chronically irritated and it’s impacting your relationships and daily life, it’s important to know how to manage these emotions and express them in a healthy way.

Irritability is made up of two components: an emotional component (the actual feeling of irritation or anger) and a behavioral component (aggressive outbursts). You can learn ways to both cope with the emotion of irritation and anger management techniques to calm irritation more easily.

Explore these strategies:

Notice when you’re irritable

First, try to recognize when you’re feeling irritable. To do so, you need to know your own personal signs of irritability. What physical sensations arise or how do your thought patterns change?

For example, you might find yourself focusing on the negative aspects of every situation or person. Or perhaps your heart starts beating faster and your muscles tense up. Noticing these early signs of irritation can help you discover ways to manage it before you react in a way you might regret.

Address potential causes when possible

The root of your irritability might be as simple as an empty stomach or not sleeping well the night before. Fortunately, these root causes of irritation are easily addressed with a snack or prioritizing restful sleep. It might not always be that easy, but sometimes a little self-care is just what you need to feel better.

Although lifestyle changes aren’t a replacement for professional treatment, they can help with irritability — especially if your daily habits are making you feel irritable. For example, if you’re more irritable on days you haven’t eaten breakfast, ensuring you’re nourished when you start your day could make a big difference.

Remove yourself from triggers

If you lash out at others when you feel irritated, it can have lasting consequences for your relationships. If you notice you’re feeling irritable, it’s sometimes a good idea to remove yourself from any situation that might be triggering for you.

For example, if you’re having a conversation with someone at work and find yourself feeling irritated with them, it’s OK — and even healthy — to pick up the conversation later when you’re feeling better. By removing yourself from triggering situations, you not only prevent irritability from having negative consequences, but you can also start to calm down by gaining emotional distance.

Find some quiet

When you’re feeling irritable, it’s possible that your fight-or-flight reflex — also known as your stress response — is activated. You can relax your body at any time by finding a quiet space and doing some breathing techniques, which have been shown to calm the nervous system.

Talk to a professional about your irritability

Whether you think your irritability is due to a temporary state like hunger or a more chronic mental health condition, a professional can help. Irritability can have consequences for your life regardless of its cause, and people with higher levels of irritability are more likely to face negative life outcomes, including an increased risk of suicide.*

By talking to a therapist, you can uncover and address the root of your chronic irritability and prevent it from interfering with your life, relationships, or well-being.

Some common approaches to treatment include:

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a common and effective treatment technique for many different mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety. It can help you explore the relationships between your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and challenge negative thinking patterns that may be contributing to irritability.

  • Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT can help you develop skills to manage or tolerate painful and strong emotions, including irritability. DBT also includes components that teach you better communication and relationship skills.

*A note on safety: If you or a loved one is in emotional distress or a suicidal crisis, please call or text 988. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, confidential support with trained crisis counselors. If it’s an emergency, call 911.

Clinican's take
In my experience working with clients who are experiencing irritability, relaxation techniques like deep breathing are helpful both during therapy sessions and as a tool for them to practice outside of sessions.
Elise Miller, MA, LPC

Elise Miller, MA, LPC

Clinical reviewer

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Irritability is normal and can have many causes — including ordinary life events like hunger and stress. It can also be a sign of some mental health conditions. Leaving irritability unaddressed to the point where you’re lashing out at loved ones can have lasting impacts. With the support of a therapist, you can figure out the root of your irritability and learn new ways to cope.

At Rula, you can be connected with 15,000+ licensed therapists representing over 100 clinical specialties and modalities, 39 languages, 18 faiths and religions, and a wide range of backgrounds. Schedule a live video appointment for as soon as tomorrow.

Saya Des Marais
About the author

Saya Des Marais

Saya graduated with her Master in Social Work (MSW) with a concentration in mental health from the University of Southern California in 2010. She formerly worked as a therapist and motivational interviewing trainer in community clinics, public schools, mental health startups, and more.

Her writing has been featured in FORTUNE, GoodRX, PsychCentral, and dozens of mental health apps and therapy websites. Through both her clinical work and her personal OCD diagnosis, she’s learned the importance of making empathetic and accurate mental health content available online.

She lives in Portland, Oregon but you can find her almost just as often in Mexico or in her birthplace, Tokyo.

Elise Miller, MA, LPC
About the clinical reviewer

Elise Miller, MA, LPC

Elise received her Masters in Professional Counseling from Liberty University and went on to become a Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor in Texas and Colorado. She has served in many facets of the mental health field including inpatient psychiatric hospitals, intensive outpatient programs, hospice, and mental health tech. She is currently working as an outpatient therapist in private practice.

Elise is also a mom of three little ones and brings this experience into her counseling work with fellow moms. Elise’s work comes from a place of deep compassion and lived experience along with her extensive training and specialization.

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Emergency

The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, confidential support with trained crisis counselors.

If you or a loved one is in emotional distress or a suicidal crisis, please call or text 988.