Grief is a natural emotional reaction. But for people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), it may trigger or worsen symptoms like obsessions and compulsions.
OCD can prolong the grieving process by making it more difficult to process and accept loss.
If grief is making your OCD more severe, make an appointment with a mental health professional. They can help you acknowledge your experience, process your feelings, and begin to heal.
Grief is an emotional response to any loss that challenges your sense of normalcy. This type of change is always hard, but grief can be particularly difficult for people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
When you have OCD, grief can trigger emotional distress, uncertainty, and loss of control. If you're currently trying to manage OCD and grief, know that there are strategies and tools available to support your mental health and well-being.
How does grief affect OCD?
OCD is a chronic mental health condition involving obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. You can learn to manage its symptoms, but certain people, places, and situations may still trigger you. Stress, relationship issues, and major life changes can also fuel OCD.
While grief may not cause OCD directly, it can lead to the onset of the condition. And if you’ve already been diagnosed with OCD, you may find that your symptoms worsen when dealing with painful emotions.
Research suggests that feeling sad can cause or complicate obsessions and compulsions for people with OCD. And more than half of people with OCD have a co-occurring depressive disorder, which can also impact your ability to cope with pain and loss.
Grief comes in many shapes and forms. Let's say you've recently lost a close family member or friend. Someone with OCD may experience intrusive thoughts, like, “Did I do something to cause this?” or, “Will something bad happen to me next?” You might reread your old text messages, avoid situations that remind you of that person, or seek reassurance that you weren't responsible.
Witnessing a traumatic event, like a pandemic or mass violence, can also trigger grief. And with constant exposure to troubling news stories, you may find yourself in an unhealthy cycle of obsessions, anxiety, and compulsions.
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What grief feels like for people with OCD
Everyone experiences sorrow or loss at some point in their life. Whether it's the death of a loved one or moving away from your childhood home, grief is a natural part of the human experience.
For people with OCD, symptoms like obsessions and compulsions can further complicate these feelings. There are different presentations of OCD, and grief may be particularly challenging for people with obsessions related: to
Harm OCD: Intrusive fears of causing harm to oneself or others
Religion scrupulosity OCD: Obsessive concerns about morality, sin, or spiritual failure
Responsibility OCD: Overwhelming fears of being at fault for something going wrong
Relationships OCD: Persistent doubts about one’s feelings, partner, or relationship
Existential OCD: Intrusive questioning about life’s meaning, reality, or one’s own existence
Obsessions are repeated, intrusive thoughts that cause extreme anxiety or distress. They’re often illogical and don't reflect your genuine feelings or desires.
If you’re experiencing grief-related obsessions, you might have thoughts like:
“Am I grieving the ‘right’ way?”
“Did I do enough for my loved one while they were alive?”
“Was there something I could have done to prevent this loss?”
“Am I being punished for something I did wrong?”
Many people with OCD engage in repeated behaviors, known as compulsions, to temporarily manage the distress caused by their obsessive thoughts. For example, a fear of germs may lead to excessive handwashing or constant cleaning.
But when your obsessions are tangled with grief, it might feel harder to regain that sense of control. For people with OCD, compulsions can make it difficult to process grief in a healthy way.
For example, you might:
Avoid activities or events that remind you of your loss
Compulsively check photos or reread texts to make sure you don’t forget memories
Engage in rituals like lighting candles or visiting certain locations that remind you of a person
Ruminate on possible mistakes, concerns, or missed opportunities
How to manage OCD and grief together
The OCD cycle of obsessions and compulsions can prolong the grieving process and make it more difficult to heal. You may feel consumed by grief, which can significantly impact your daily choices and quality of life.
However, it’s important to remember that grief won’t feel the same forever. With the following strategies, you can learn to manage your OCD and navigate grief in a healthy way.
1. Recognize your emotions
Grief can lead to a range of complex emotions, like sadness, anger, and despair. These emotions are a natural part of the grieving process and not something you need to challenge or solve. While it can be difficult for people with OCD, acknowledging and accepting these feelings can help you process your loss.
2. Show yourself kindness
Healing from grief requires patience and self-compassion. There's no right or wrong way to grieve, so allow yourself to process your emotions at a pace that feels right to you.
Even if you feel guilty or responsible for the loss, remember that self-kindness is an important skill for processing pain and increasing inner strength and resiliency. This might include reciting a positive affirmation each morning or building a regular self-care routine.
3. Make space for mindfulness
Mindfulness is an effective tool for many mental health challenges, including both OCD and grief. Mind-body practices, like mindfulness and meditation, can help people acknowledge their thoughts and feelings without judgment. And if intrusive thoughts are impacting your ability to grieve, mindfulness can help you focus on the present and avoid feelings like helplessness or guilt.
4. Seek professional support
If your OCD symptoms are affecting your ability to grieve in a healthy way, it's important to speak with a mental health professional. Most people with OCD benefit from treatment, including talk therapy and medication management.
The first-choice treatment for OCD is exposure and response prevention (ERP). ERP helps people gradually face triggering thoughts or situations while resisting compulsions, reducing anxiety over time. Other approaches — like acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) — can also be helpful, especially for managing the pain, guilt, and shame that may accompany grief.
Grief can intensify OCD by turning loss into fuel for obsessions. The brain may latch onto ‘what if’ thoughts or guilt about the past, creating a loop of self-blame that goes far beyond typical mourning. With support, it’s possible to quiet those loops and make room for healing.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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If you have OCD and are grieving, know that help is available. With support from loved ones and qualified mental health professionals, you can learn to manage stress, find relief, and focus on your healing journey.
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Alex Bachert
Alex Bachert is a freelance copywriter and mental health advocate. Since earning her masters degree in public health, she has focused her career on creating informative content that empowers people to prioritize their health and well-being. Alex has partnered with organizations like Ro, WellTheory, and Firsthand, and her work has been recognized by the Digital Health Association.
When she’s not writing about mental health, Alex is usually playing pickleball, meeting with her local board of health, or enjoying time with her three kids.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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