Why you’re feeling emotional, and how to cope

You could be feeling emotional for a variety of reasons. Maybe you had a stressful workday and had to repress your emotions in front of your colleagues. Or maybe you witnessed something distressing or traumatic and are trying to process that experience. When you’re alone, you may feel able to release your emotions without judgment. But if you’re feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, it’s important to consider the root cause. Seeking support, like with a therapist, can offer you the support you need such as processing your feelings, introducing coping skills, and deepening your healing. 

Here are some potential reasons you might be feeling overly emotional:

1. Mental overload

Sometimes, people unintentionally skip processing their emotions because they’re busy or they don’t want to feel challenging emotions. Or they might intend to heal once life slows down. 

But, often, our schedules are too full. Whatever the reason, ignoring emotional processing can make you feel excessively emotional ^[1] because your feelings have accumulated without any relief.

2. Lack of sleep

If you’re missing out on sleep regularly or waking up during the night, your emotions may be bigger than the situation. That’s because sleep and mental health are deeply connected. 

When you sleep, your body is working to regulate your emotions ^[2] and manage stress. Without this critical process, you might find yourself sobbing at a friend’s slightly sad news or a sentimental TV ad.

For some people, anxiety and depression can set in at night. This can make it harder to sleep as your mind turns over your worries repeatedly (which usually makes you feel worse) or sadness takes hold.

Since 75% of people with depression have difficulty falling or staying asleep ^[3] , it makes sense that these challenges translate into daily experiences. Feeling emotional in these instances is completely valid.

3. Life changes

Think about any events that have happened lately, even if they’re positive ones. Changes — even welcome ones — can be stressful, and your response to increased stress might be feeling overly emotional. It can be easy to shrug off a transition or even register that it’s affected you.

4. Hormonal shifts

Your emotional instability may come on seemingly all of a sudden. Hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy and the postpartum period can cause intense emotions like postpartum rage. Even though these experiences are temporary, it can still feel overwhelming to manage these emotions on your own.

5. Emotional dysregulation

Emotional dysregulation can contribute to always feeling overly emotional. If you don’t know how to regulate your emotions, you may feel your emotions are controlling you. 

There are many reasons why emotional regulation might be hard for you. Some reasons include childhood trauma, mental health conditions like attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or even an insecure attachment style.

6. Mental health conditions

Several mental health conditions can affect emotional regulation, making it harder for people to manage or understand their feelings. Conditions like borderline personality disorder (BPD), bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and depression can cause intense mood swings, heightened emotional sensitivity, or difficulty calming down after distressing events.

When someone’s ability to regulate emotions is disrupted, it can strain relationships, reduce self-esteem, and make daily challenges feel harder to handle. This often creates a cycle of emotional exhaustion and distress.

Ways to manage overwhelming emotions

Managing increased emotions on your own can feel challenging. Fortunately, there are strategies that can help.

• Notice your triggers. If you find yourself breaking down during certain times, you might feel unsettled and confused. You might wonder why you’re so emotional at night, around a certain person, or notice a cyclical pattern related to your menstrual cycle. Tracking when you’re feeling overwhelmed may help you narrow down the root cause. 

• Acknowledge your feelings. Taking time to slow down, like with mindfulness meditation or journaling, can help you identify and process any buried feelings. This moment may help provide some clarity from your strong emotions.

• Try grounding exercises. When you’re in the middle of experiencing overwhelming emotions, it can be hard to focus on anything else. But sometimes diverting your attention can actually help. For example, if you live with an anxiety disorder, breathing exercises can ground you and bring you back into the present.

• Lean on your support system. It can be hard to be vulnerable with your feelings, but sharing your experiences might help you feel less alone. Confiding in people you trust can help you see that everyone feels emotional sometimes, and it can help you feel more connected. 

• Reach out for professional support. If it feels like managing your emotions is impossible, know that support is available. A therapist can help you figure out what’s behind your increased emotions and develop healthy coping strategies.

Clinician’s take

Attempting to ‘push away’ your feelings can cause emotions to resurface more intensely later on. What tends to work better is pausing to name the emotion, breathe through it, and approach it with curiosity instead of judgment. This gentle awareness helps the nervous system settle and allows the emotion to move through naturally rather than getting stuck.

Ashley Ayala, LMFT

Clinical reviewer