Key Takeaways
People who have separation anxiety disorder experience fear or distress when separated from their attachment figure.
Although most commonly diagnosed in children, separation anxiety disorder can also affect adults and limit their daily functioning in a variety of ways.
Common causes of adult separation anxiety disorder include life transitions, insecure attachment styles, and a genetic predisposition.
We often think of separation anxiety as an issue between children and their caregivers, but adults can also experience separation anxiety disorder. With adults, separation anxiety disorder involves an excessive fear of being away from their attachment figure, who can be any close relationship such as their child, romantic partner, or parent.
An attachment figure is a person with whom someone has formed a strong bond and provides a sense of security. For a person experiencing separation anxiety, being without their attachment figure can provoke feelings of fear and distress.
Separation anxiety is treatable. Finding support for the disorder can lead to more fulfilling relationships and help prevent additional mental health issues.
What is separation anxiety?
Separation anxiety disorder is a type of anxiety disorder defined by excessive fear or anxiety about being separated from a person’s attachment figure. Separation anxiety is not simply wanting to spend quality time with loved ones or preferring to stay home rather than go out. Rather, it’s extreme distress over being separated and may include persistent worry that something might happen to your attachment figure and a fixation on finding ways to remain close to them. Adults with separation anxiety may persistently call, text, or use other technological means to communicate with their attachment figure in an attempt to relieve their anxiety.
Separation anxiety can interfere with your quality of life, affecting everything from your performance at work or school to your ability to make and maintain friendships outside of your primary attachment figure. Separation anxiety disorder can also take a toll on your independence, affecting your willingness to take vacations, accept promotions, and explore new hobbies.
Research suggests that between 4 and 6% of adults in the U.S. experience adult separation anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. And 75% of adults developed the condition as adults, not during childhood.
Although separation anxiety disorder is primarily diagnosed in children, the condition and its symptoms can be just as problematic for adults.
Signs and symptoms of separation anxiety in adults
The American Psychiatric Association’s diagnostic manual for mental health conditions is called the DSM-5. It states that adults must experience at least three of the following symptoms for at least six months to be diagnosed with adult separation anxiety disorder.
Recurrent excessive distress about being separated from the attachment figure or home
Persistent and pervasive worry about something happening to their attachment figure, like illness, injury, disasters, or death
Persistent and pervasive worry that something will cause a prolonged or permanent separation from their attachment figure
Reluctance or refusal to go out due to fear of separation
Refusal to be alone at home or in other settings
Refusal to sleep without being near the attachment figure
Repeated nightmares about being separated from their attachment figure
Repeated physical reaction to being separated from their attachment figure
Prior to receiving an official diagnosis, there may be signs that you or someone you know is struggling with adult separation anxiety disorder:
Physical symptoms include:
Panic attacks
Nausea
Headaches
Diarrhea
Muscle tension
Behavioral symptoms include:
Repeatedly contacting someone when they’re away (calls, emails, texts)
Being too strict or overprotective with your children
Staying in an unhealthy relationship longer than you should
Obsessively checking someone’s location via tracking apps
Being overly involved in someone else’s life
Difficulty coping with life transitions
Emotional symptoms include:
Common causes of separation anxiety in adults
The exact cause of separation anxiety in adults is still unknown, but several factors have been shown to increase your risk of developing the condition.
Insecure attachment style
One theory for why separation anxiety occurs in adults relates to attachment style. Attachment theory suggests that having a strong relationship with your primary caregivers during childhood is a key predictor of mental and emotional health as an adult.
People with insecure attachment styles may have experienced uncertainty or inconsistency during their childhood, impacting how they connect with others later in life. Having an anxious, insecure attachment style, in particular, can lead to relationship troubles, like difficulty setting healthy boundaries.
Childhood experiences
Childhood experiences may be a predictor of separation anxiety in some adults. For example, experiencing significant trauma or being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder during childhood may increase your risk of developing separation anxiety later in life. On the other hand, being raised in a situation where caregivers were overly protective or struggled with their own anxiety may also contribute to separation anxiety later in life.
Life transitions
Separation anxiety in adults can be triggered by major life events, such as the loss of a loved one, starting a new job, moving to a new location, or ending an important relationship.
Genetics and other health conditions
Some individuals may have a genetic predisposition to adult separation anxiety disorder. For example, some research suggests that having a family history of separation anxiety may cause an increased risk of developing separation anxiety disorder.
Having one of the following mental health conditions, or a family member with the following mental health conditions, may also be a risk factor for adult separation anxiety disorder:
How separation anxiety is treated in adults
If you’re constantly worried about being away from a loved one or find yourself searching for ways to remain close to them, you might consider seeking professional mental health support. Similar to other forms of anxiety, separation anxiety disorder can be managed and treated with therapy, medication, or a combination of the two.
Therapy is often the most effective starting point. A therapist can help you:
A therapist will use approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) to support adults with separation anxiety.
Certain daily practices can help you feel steadier, like:
Grounding techniques to calm your body during moments of separation
Mindfulness or breathwork to reduce racing thoughts
Creating predictable routines that help you feel more secure
Gradual, planned alone time to build confidence
Support from trusted people who understand your goals
Medication can also be helpful when anxiety feels constant or overwhelming. Your mental health provider can talk with you about what you’re experiencing and work with you to decide what treatment — or combination of treatments — best fits your unique needs.
Clinician's take
When adults experience separation anxiety, I often remind them that their fear isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that their nervous system needs support and reassurance.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Separation anxiety in adults can feel overwhelming, but it’s also manageable. With the right mix of support — like therapy, medication, and everyday coping skills — you can learn to feel safer and more steady when you’re apart from the people you love. If you’re ready for extra support, a mental health provider can help you understand what you’re experiencing and guide you toward care that truly fits your needs.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we're here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
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