Key Takeaways
Autism and ADHD can look different in women, which is why many hide their symptoms without realizing it and go undiagnosed for years.
When both conditions overlap, the challenges can build. Many women feel exhausted or “too much” while just trying to keep up.
With the right support and understanding, women can find relief, confidence, and a way of living that truly fits them.
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD, or autism) and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can look very different in women than in men [1]. Because research and diagnostic tools have focused mostly on boys and men, autism and ADHD in women are often missed or misunderstood.
Additionally, many women hide their symptoms without meaning to. They keep pushing through exhaustion and self-doubt. Over time, this can lead to burnout and confusion about why life feels so hard.
When autism and ADHD occur together — something research shows is common [2] — the challenges can overlap and amplify. Late or missed diagnoses can affect confidence, relationships, and mental health. But with growing awareness, more women are finally getting answers and the support they’ve needed all along.
A note about language: At Rula, we believe everyone deserves access to inclusive, research-based mental health information. Most studies on autism and ADHD focus on people assigned male at birth, so research on gender-diverse people is limited. Gender and social expectations can also affect how symptoms show up and how they’re understood. As more inclusive research becomes available, we’ll keep updating our content to reflect it.
Why neurodivergence can be hard to notice in women
Neurodivergence can be hard to notice in women. Many autistic women and women with ADHD learn to hide their struggles. They copy social behaviors, stay quiet, or work extra hard to meet expectations. On the surface, they might seem successful and put together but inside often feel drained and misunderstood.
ADHD and autism are especially difficult to diagnose in women because:
Symptoms often appear as daydreaming, anxiety, or perfectionism instead of hyperactivity.
Many women mask their symptoms through people pleasing or overachieving.
When ADHD and autism occur together, traits often overlap and can blur the picture.
Most research and screening tools were designed around how these conditions present in boys and men [3].
When a diagnosis comes late [4] — or never — it can take a deep emotional toll. Many women may:
Blame themselves for forgetfulness, disorganization, or emotional intensity
Feel “lazy,” “too sensitive,” or “not good enough”
Experience burnout, anxiety, and depression without support
Experience both relief and grief when they finally receive a diagnosis
Cultural and social factors can make diagnosis even harder. In many communities, mental health struggles carry stigma. Healthcare bias can lead to symptoms being minimized or overlooked.
For women of color, LGBTQ+ women, and those from strict religious backgrounds, the pressure to mask and “fit in” can be even stronger. These layers of identity and expectation often delay recognition and care.
Seeing these patterns helps more women get the understanding and support they need. Nothing is wrong with them. Their brains just work differently.
The difference between ADHD and autism in women
ADHD and autism can share some traits in women, but they often show up in different ways. Understanding these differences can help women recognize their own experiences and get the right kind of support.
Women with ADHD often appear busy, capable, or social on the outside but feel scattered or overwhelmed inside [5]. Their thoughts move fast, and they may jump from one task to another without finishing. Many describe feeling “always on” but never caught up [6].
Common signs of ADHD in women include:
Having trouble focusing or staying organized
Overcommitting or having trouble saying no
Acting quickly or speaking before thinking
Feeling restless, emotional, or easily drained
Autistic women often work hard to understand social rules and may “mask” to fit in [7]. They often notice patterns and details others overlook but can feel confused by unspoken expectations. Many prefer structure and quiet, and social settings can feel like too much.
Common signs of autism in women include:
A strong need for routine and predictability
Sensitivity to noise, textures, or light
Feeling out of sync or different from their peers
Deep, focused interests [8] that bring comfort and/or joy
Interpersonal relationships can make the differences between autism and ADHD stand out more. For example:
Women with ADHD usually pick up on social cues but may interrupt, lose focus, or find it hard to keep track of conversations.
Autistic women may miss cues altogether or feel unsure how to respond, which can make socializing exhausting.
Both ADHD and autism can lead people to feel misunderstood and burned out. Many women push themselves to meet expectations [9] without realizing how much effort that takes. Recognizing how these conditions differ — and how they can overlap — can help women find understanding, relief, and care that truly fits them.
Living with ADHD and autism as a woman
Living with both ADHD and autism — often called AuDHD — can be tough for women. The two conditions mix together in unique ways, which can make daily life feel confusing or tiring.
Symptoms can overlap. A woman might feel busy and distracted one moment, then shut down or overwhelmed the next. She may want structure but have trouble sticking to routines. Social time can also be hard. She wants friends but feels drained after being around people.
Each condition can make the other harder to manage. ADHD adds restlessness and forgetfulness. Autism adds sensitivity to sound, change, and/or social pressure. Together, they can make focus and comfort difficult to maintain at the same time.
Women with both ADHD and autism often face specific challenges. They may work hard to fit in [1] and hide their struggles, which often leads to burnout. Other people might call them “too sensitive” or “too much” when they’re just trying to cope. Many women with both of these conditions go years without the right diagnosis or support.
Learning how ADHD and autism interact can bring relief. It helps women find tools that fit their brains and live in ways that feel more balanced and true to them.
Next steps for women with ADHD and autism
Getting help for both ADHD and autism can feel complicated, but it’s possible. The two conditions often overlap, so treatment usually works best when it addresses both together. A mental health professional can help decide what should take priority based on each woman’s needs.
Helpful next steps include:
Getting a full evaluation: Find a specialist who understands neurodivergence in women and can look for signs of both ADHD and autism.
Building a care team: This may include a therapist, psychiatrist, or occupational therapist who understands sensory and attention needs.
Learning self-awareness skills: Understanding how symptoms interact can help women plan their days and reduce overwhelm.
Seeking community support: Peer groups and online spaces for neurodivergent women can ease isolation and offer real understanding.
Treatment often focuses on improving quality of life, not “fixing” traits. For example:
With the right mix of support, women can manage challenges more easily and build lives that match their strengths, values, and needs.
Clinician's take
When ADHD and autism overlap, support has to be more flexible. What works for one condition alone won’t always work for both conditions together. For this reason, we often need to slow things down, simplify strategies, and build routines that honor both sensory needs and attention challenges.
Find care with Rula
Many women live for years without realizing that ADHD and/or autism may be part of their story. Recognizing the signs is the first step toward understanding why life has felt harder than it should. With the right support, women can learn new ways to cope, care for themselves, and thrive as their authentic selves.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
